My Domestic Nerd Saturday Project

While at my sister's house in Enoch last week I was impressed by a drop down shelf she had put into a high cupboard, I love handy little things like that. Like many people, my spice cupboard is my nemesis and I have to reorganize it every few months and yet it's almost immediately a mess again. So, per my sister's help in finding the rack (which took two different Wal-marts, thank you very much) I finally found them and bought three. (The Cheetos wrapper is not mine, I swear)

Here's what the two cupboards looked like before:

It took me the better part of an hour to empty and install the shelves. I used a tape measure, Phillips screwdriver, and a drill and did have to take off one cabinet doors and rearrange the shelve heights to make sure the pull down shelf would fit.  I only drilled the holes wrong SIX TIMES; I'm extraordinarily handy like that. In the end, however, the cupboards looked like this:

When you pull down the shelves, they look like this--no more hunting past bottles to try and find the one I need:

I fit all the same spices and medications in the cupboards as I did before. I did not bleed at any time in this process, didn't even swear! And I've left the cupboards open most of the evening so I can smile at my accomplishments. I love it when things work out! I'm sure the drill will sit on the counter for a week before I put it back in the garage.

Lee than treated me to sushi at Tona's in Ogden. All in all, a very good day.

I hope you had an equally satisfying Saturday!

St. George Half Marathon 2012 Report

Today, January 21 2012, I ran the St. George 1/2 Marathon. This was my first time running this particular race, but the second St. George race I'd run (the first was Snow Canyon 2011). I think I really like St. George races. Because I live in Northern Utah, I'm almost convinced that coming down in elevation helps me, since my more northern races have been slower than both of these Southern Utah runs, but I have no scientific proof of this. Anyway, here's my recap.

I have never run in the winter. I enjoy running spring through fall, but I always stop running when it gets cold, then pick it up again in the spring. This year, I wanted to keep up my running throughout the winter specifically in hopes of getting faster. I have no doubt that running with my friend Holly Freeman made a HUGE difference in my speed. She is passionate about fitness and fitness goals and she and I have run about once a week since October. She runs faster than I do, much faster, but her slow runs are my fast ones and keeping up with her, learning to do intervals, and braving hills was a huge help to me. I only ran about 10 miles a week until early December, when I began increasing my runs. I didn't follow a set training schedule, I just tried to run 3 or 4 days a week, usually 3-5 mile runs and then a longer run somewhere that week. I didn't get over 20 miles a week until the two weeks before the race, then tapered to 4 miles Monday, 3 miles Tuesday, and 2 miles Wednesday the week of the race per my friend Jaime Theler's advice and reference to Hal Higdon's training schedule.

I'd been in Cedar City for some promotional things and presentations the days before the run, so Friday night my two favorite Crystals (I have a sister and a sister in law named Crystal--they are both wonderful) came with me to St. George where I'd rented a hotel room. We went to the Dixie Expo Center first to get my packet, where I had to serpentine through all these booths and such to get to where I picked it up. Brilliant to make us walk through the expo to get to the end. After I got my number, we went to a movie (Tower Heist) where I ate 1/2 a jumbo tub of popcorn and then went to dinner at Olive garden where I finished the carb-fest. We got to the hotel a little after 10:00 and I took a Tylenol PM. I slept pretty well and woke up at 7:45 to get ready. My sister drove me to the Dixie Expo Center, where the race started. It had rained during the night and was still sprinkling when we got to the race. I ate 3 shot-blocks for energy and drank some water before she dropped me off, then stayed inside the Expo Center and stretched--ran into Jill Dallon from Brigham City--and waited for the race to start. I had worn my long sleeved running shirt, a jacket, gloves, and a hoodie, because it was cold, but I peeled off the jacket and hoodie right before the race started and began looking for a place to put my drop bag. None of the volunteers knew where it was, none of the runners did either. I ended up stashing it under a tree next to some other ones. My cell phone was in there, as was $80 worth of gear, so I was nervous, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. The next clothing drop wasn't until mile 2.

The race put "pacers" into the race who held signs proclaiming how fast they were running so you could run with them--I'd never seen this before but really liked it. I started with the 2:10 crowd, but passed the pacers about 2 miles into the run in hopes of catching up with the 2:00 pacers, but I never even saw them. It was sprinkling, but just barely and the temperature was perfect--about 35ish degrees, I think. The first 8 miles was a lot of uphill, I was so glad I'd trained on hills with Holly, but they weren't steep, more of rolling, and wound through neighborhoods. The streets were well "manned" by volunteers and barricaded off, if felt very safe. I took the 5 hour energy I'd hidden in my secret pocket at about mile 6--I was feeling good but didn't want to burn out. At about mile 7 1/2, a seasoned pro passed and told us that it was all downhill from that point forward. Thank goodness! Around mile 8 I met a gal named Erica, also running alone. She and I talked and ran together for about 3 miles, which was wonderful. We were pretty evenly paced and conversation is always a welcome distraction. The race went from roads to a bike path that followed the river, very nicely paved with beautiful views into St. George. At mile 11 I was feeling good so I sped up a little bit. The rain increased about this time, but it wasn't obnoxious, I just had to keep wiping the water from my face. At mile 12 I was still feeling good so I sped up even more. I had hoped to come in close to 2:10, and was thrilled to come in at 2:07:10 instead.

At the end of the race they snipped off my chip, gave me a medal, and the finish line led right through the after-run snacks. I came through the snack line to find my sister waiting for me, which was wonderful. She's a great cheerleader.

I decided not to wait around for the awards, I was soaked, or my official time. By my GPS watch I was 7:29, but I had set it before I crossed the line. My stuff was still under the tree, so I picked it up and got back to the hotel in time to take a shower before out late check out was over with. Once back at the hotel, soaking wet, I realized I hadn't brought a change of underwear--I wear LDS temple garments and somehow left all the clean ones at my sister's house. Luckily, they sell them in town so I took an extra long shower while my sister picked me up a pair. I'd run in the ones I had and there was no way I could wear them twice. I was very grateful that it worked out as well as it did. I felt good enough to go shopping and get lunch and enjoy our free time before we had to return to Cedar.

In summary, I really liked the course which was a challenging one for me in regard to the hills, but definitely doable. I liked the organization of the race as well, all the information I got leading up to the race was well stated and easy to follow. The after-run snacks were good, the weather, though I was worried about it, was quite perfect. My training was really good and I had a great experience over all. I purchased some Altra shoes before I got serious about the training in December and feel like I can now proclaim how much I LOVE them. I've put about 80 miles into them and have had no knee or arch pain since using them. They are barefoot running shoes which are supposed to make your body move more naturally, and I am converted. You can find more info at www.zrunning.com

What I didn't like was that the volunteers I interacted with weren't super in-the-know, they seemed to know their job, but not much else. I never found the drop site before the race and would have liked to have put my stuff in a safer place. The shirts were men's cuts, and the small is big on me so I will probably never wear it, which is a shame because it's very well designed. I have also accepted that I must get better running pants. The ones I've been running in are cotton and with the rain they were soggy and heavy and stuck under my shoes by the end. I definitely need new pants.

I had a really good day and now have a new PR to beat at my next race, which is still up in the air. There are a few I'm looking into, but none that are "singing" to me just yet. I'm sure enjoying running right now in my life, I think it might be my version of an antidepressant as I just feel better when I'm consistent with it. Thanks to everyone who's been such a support to me, I appreciate it very much.

And Here it is, 2012

I think I wrote 8 blogs in 2011, I didn't read other people's blogs much more often than that. There was a time when I wrote 3-4 times a week, which mostly serves as a commentary on how things change and the necessity to revise the way I spend my time. However, I really like reporting on my goals and setting new ones so here I am, giving my report and signing up for a new list of challenges that, even if I don't reach the goal, makes me better than I was before I set it.

Report on 2011:

1--Love my body. I made progress in this area despite the fact that I'm a few pounds heavier than I was this time last year.

How do I feel about that?

Really good. I turned 37 years old in 2011, my husband turned 40 and I am mindful of the changes age makes, however, I am very pleased with how I am moving into these monumental years. I'm heavier than I've been, but I think I'm in better shape. I feel stronger. I sleep well, I can physically do pretty much whatever I want. If I decided, tomorrow, to take up rowing, or rock climbing, or dancing in one form or another, I could do it. I have the base I need. I love that feeling and though I'm not fitting into the clothes I would prefer and some of my 'shape' isn't the shape I want to be, I'm quite pleased with where I am and it feels SO good to feel good about those things.

2--Run a 1/2 Marathon in 2:10--Um, no. In fact my fastest time was 8 minutes slower than my slowest time in 2010.

How do I feel about that?

Not too bad, really. I ended up with unexpected gallbladder surgery in June that seriously interfered with my running goals, and yet I still managed to run two 1/2 marathons. I was slower, but I did them and they were great experiences.

3--Complete 3 novels--Totally did it! I finished "Pumpkin Roll" and "Banana Split"--books 6 and 7 in the Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery Series--and "Daisy" which is my contribution to a parallel novel series written with three of my favorite writers. You can learn more about that series on the blog dedicated to the books.

How do I feel about that?

Stinkin awesome! Could not be more pleased with how my writing career is going. I'm humbled by the continual opportunities and proud of myself for making it work. Daisy was a joy to write, a good break from Sadie, though I do love her so, and I thoroughly enjoyed writing with Heather, Annette, and Julie.

4--52 Thank You Cards--Totally did this one, and I think I sent closer to 70 cards instead of the 52 I had planned.

How do I feel about that?

Really good. Having set this as a goal kept me more aware of the things people around me do. I sent cards to kids who spoke in primary who I could tell were nervous but did it anyway. I sent thank you cards to people who deserved it long before I ever took the time to say so. I tried to make note of those moments that were such a part of someone's nature that I usually just glossed it over with "Oh, she likes to do that kind of thing." And I so enjoyed this experience.

5--Keep a Better House--I've definitely improved.

How do I feel about that?

Great. A clean home makes me feel better. It's that simple and I have worked hard to keep up on the day to day as well as work on the deep cleaning before it's drowning me. Right now, though there isn't a room in my house that's perfect, I feel good about the state of my home. I know where most things are and I feel like I'm being a good steward of the temporal blessings I've been given.

6--Develop and Follow a menu plan--epic fail. I did worse this year than last year. Boo.

How do I feel about that?

Frustrated, like I did last year when I didn't meet this goal. I love to eat dinner with my family, so why don't I make it happen? There are weeks when I cook one meal and all the other nights just expect everyone to fend for themselves. I hate it, but am really struggling to get into a rhythm. I'm honestly not sure where to start.

7--Expand and keep up on my freelance work--Did it, but not in the way I expected to. I didn't write any articles, but I did some web copy writing work that I really enjoyed.

How do I feel about that?

Good. The essence of the goal was for me to be developing my other writing skills outside of novel writing which I feel makes me a better writer overall and keeps me from becoming to overwhelmed with my fiction. Taking on the freelance projects definitely changed things up for me and helped me learn new skills. And I loved doing web content and hope do do more of it in the future.



Goals for 2012:

1--Run a 1/2 marathon in 2:10. I think I can do this with proper training and consistency. I am also nearly out of expendable organs so I don't forsee having to have anything surgically removed this year.

2--Sit down meal twice a week. I need to get over some of the things that get in my way like not having everyone home, not being in the mood, and not having the ingredients. If I plan on two full meals a week where whoever is home sits down together, I should be able to pull it off. I can have the ingredients on hand and make it happen. Maybe if I do this and have positive experiences with it, I will be better motivated to do it more often.

3--Take a crochet class. I really like handiwork and I really like crochet, but I can only do two stitches. I'd like to take at least one crochet class and improve my skills. I'd love to be able to crochet baby blankets by the time I'm a grandma, which could very well happen in the next five years. I used to put myself into learning all kinds of things but as my writing has taken off I have focused primarily on those skills that benefit my career. I'd like to expand into some other things.

4--Journal once a month. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I've read over my journal of the last five years and average about 3 entries a year. I'd like to do better and so will try to journal on the first Sunday of each month.


5--Attend the temple once a month. This is a hard goal for me. I know it's not politically correct to say so, but I don't love going to the temple. I feel good there and I'm glad when I go, but I rarely have really powerful experiences and it becomes easy for me to be off. For me, I think attending is more a matter of obedience than seeking revelation, but I want to do better. I only attend two or three times this year and I don't think I've ever gone 12 times in a year so this will be a good spiritual goal for me to work toward.

6--Be nice. Both in words and in thoughts, I would like to be a nicer person. I would like people to feel better for having been with me, and I would like to focus on good things more than negative. This isn't something that comes easy to me but one I've made enough progress on to know that setting my mind to it makes it a possibility. I'm not sure how I'll measure it, but I would like to feel 'nicer' by 2013.

Come back next year and we'll see how I did :-)

Book Bomb!

I have been blessed to meet many wonderful people through my writing career. Rob Wells is one of those people. He founded the Whitney Awards, has written amazing books, championed so many people in their own careers, and he's made incredible sacrifices for his education and family. Beyond that, I've had an exclusive seat to a few backstage battles he's taken on where he stood up and made unpopular statements without apology because they were the right thing to do. I'm grateful to have been able to see just how dedicated he is to important things and it's been a blessing to me in my current position within The Whitney Award organization because I've had to do hard things and he set the stage for it.

He's currently facing a personal battle involving Severe Panic Disorder that has changed his life and recently led to him losing his job. It might be easy to say "He's a national author, he got an advance, he's fine," but it doesn't work that way. In this Appendix Podcast he explains how the money works--very eye opening.

All that goes back to the fact that, in his own way, Rob has changed the world, and some of the people who think he's amazing are out to change HIS world a little bit.

There are several bloggers hosting contests for this Book Bomb, where we'll buy his books, up his online ranking, increase his sales, and just show him that we not only wish him well, but we'll do our part to prove it. And instead of doing my own blog contest about it, I would like to refer you to my friend Luisa Perkin's blog. She not only explains the campaign wonderfully, but she's hosting a contest to help encourage it. I couldn't do better than that, so I'm going to support her efforts instead (And I'm hoping to win a copy of her cookbook Comfortably Yum). Please head over to Novembrance and read up on how she's contributing to this cause.

AND, if you haven't read Variant (Rob's book) it is AWESOME and Publisher's Weekly agrees with me. Click HERE to learn why.

I'll be following Luisa's example and buying copies for my kid's school libraries as well as some Christmas gifts. Would love for you to join in!

Help me Name Book 8!

I have encountered serious writer's block in regard to naming Book 8. The story is coming together (sort of) but the title has eluded me. Shadow Mountain came up with a solution--ask readers to help. I thought that was a brilliant idea, so consider this your official invitation to go through your recipes and see if you have just the right dish. Here are the things to keep in mind:

• The recipe must be a dessert
• The book is set in New Mexico, specifically Santa Fe and Albuquerque.
• The recipe should reflect the Southwest
• The submission must include the recipe so we can try it out.

If your submitted recipe is chosen you'll get a copy of the book when it comes out in Fall 2012, you will also become a character in the book, and you get a 12 cup Cuisinart Food Processor!

For full details and to submit your Southwestern dessert recipe, go HERE  Do NOT submit to me--Shadow Mountain is heading this one up and all submissions must go through them.

Thanks so much for the great support!

Entries due by November 27!

Josi

SoJo 2011 1/2 Marathon Re-cap

This was the first time I've done the SoJo, in fact I had never even heard of it before a friend told me about it. After that, I did see it listed on some running sites, but if I weren't looking for it, I wouldn't have realized what it was AND even when I was looking for the website, it was really hard to find in google searches--often not coming up on the first page of results which would make me re-enter criteria in an attempt to find it. In fact, that was my biggest complaint about the event, the website lacked good SEO and the writing could have been tighter and more clear in explaining things. Actually, that's my only complaint because other than that, it was awesome and if I had to choose one detail to be off, it would be the website. Here's how it went:

First, I signed up for this race because I was unable to do the Snow Canyon 1/2 marathon on November 5th and felt like I needed another race after Top Of Utah to keep me from sitting on my tush after I finished that race. I mentioned this in a facebook group I belong to (Buns of Steel) and one of the other members, Alison Taylor, gave me the race info. Honestly, SHE was the very best thing about this race. I had a ton of things going on and she kept checking in with me and helping me stay connected to the event. She was absolutely fabulous.

I ended up signing up via the paper registration option on the very last day the event was open to early registration--Sept 15. I had only done short runs after Top of Utah and it wasn't until I mailed in that registration that I started doing longer and more consistent runs. In the four weeks between registration and the race, I averaged running 20 miles a week until this week, when I only ran 4 miles. I hit this weird "I hate running" bubble and could not get myself out the door. Because of that I really worried about the race today. I had only gotten back up to 11 miles on my long runs and just didn't feel like I'd trained the way I would have liked to, but I hoped that it wouldn't be too bad.

A couple days before the race, I decided to get a hotel room. I was going to stay at my sister's house in Sugarhouse but worried about sleeping on a couch and waking up everyone else when I had to get up in the morning or being late to the start so I found a reasonably priced room at the Sleep Inn in South Jordan which ended up being about a mile away from the finish line. My son and nephew were both running the 5 K, which started and finished at the Marathon finish lines, so I picked Chris up from school and picked up Trevor in Salt Lake on the way to the hotel. I dropped them off, then drove down to Alison's house where she drove me through the course which started at a school in Daybreak, and ended at West Riverside Park in South Jordan. I have this idea in my head that the west side of Salt Lake is downhill from the East side, so coming from West Daybreak up to nearly I-15 would be uphill the whole time. Totally not true. There were two small hills but other than that most of the run was either flat or on a very gentle downgrade. I was really glad we did that, it made the next days run much more familiar to me.

Driving the course brought us to the finish line (surprise, surprise :-) and we got our packets nice and easy--they included a vinyl decal which was awesome--the volunteers were great. I was back at the hotel around 7:30 and took the boys to Sweet Tomatoes to carb up. Turned out to be a great choice (Thanks Alison for the suggestion) and I had salad and soup and pasta and dessert to my little heart's content. The boys were able to eat and eat and eat as well. We got home a little before 9:00 and the boys went swimming while I obsessively set out my stuff. I took a melatonin for fear that I wouldn't sleep and by the time the boys got back at 10:30 I was ready for bed. I slept great and though I was in and out after 4:00 a.m. it was the best pre-race sleep I've had for any race so far.

This morning, we got up at 5:50 and got ready. The boys had the complimentary breakfast the hotel provided and I had a protein shake--my breakfast of choice before long runs. We headed for West Riverside Park, where the boys were going to wait on their own. The weather was a bit nippy, but not too bad. I left the boys in the car and waited for Alison and her husband to pick me up. This race allowed runners to get dropped off at the start, which was great because it meant we didn't have to wait for the bus which meant we didn't have to be there so early. Alison picked me up around 6:45 and we went to Riverton where we picked up her friend Carrie and then Alison's husband, Mark, took us to the start. I'm not sure how many runners were registered, but it was a very reasonable number. The potty lines were great and there wasn't a 'congested' feel to it at all which I liked a lot. Top of Utah was packed and I enjoyed the extra elbow room.

They called us to the start almost 15 minutes before they actually started, which was kind of annoying but not that big a deal. I like to start at the back of races, being in the 'pack' makes me kind of anxious so I left Carrie and Alison to run with the wolves and went to the back of the runners. I had time to put my jacket in a gear bag, it wasn't that cold at all and I didn't want to bother with it later. They started with the release of some balloons and a confetti pop, which was fun, and we started moving. In the other races I've done the start line is a carpet covered strip that activates your 'chip' and I kept looking for that but didn't see it anywhere. I thought we were heading toward the start line for over a minute and then realized I must have missed it. I found out later the start was two thin wires stretched across the road. Had I been at the front of the race, I'd have probably heard that :-) So I didn't start my watch until 2 minutes into the run. I also started the audiobook I'd purchased for this race--Variant by Robison Wells. Turned out to be a great choice, I might audiobook every race I ever run from here on out since it distracted me just enough to keep me from obsessively tracking my distance. And it's a great book.

The sun was up within fifteen minutes of the start, which worried me due to how lousy the sun was for me at TOU, but the morning chill made our relationship must better this time around and it wasn't a big deal. The course went through Daybreak, then in front of the Oquirrih Temple--hill number one--and around some other neighborhoods. The mile signs were awesome and easy to find, the aid stations were fabulous, they had police directing traffic at all the intersections, there was variety in the 'view' as we ran, there was a lot of shade, the road was clearly marked off, the potty stops were excellent and without lines--honestly the course and the resources set up around it were fabulous. The full marathon used the 1/2 marathon route for the last 13 miles, so each mile mark had one sign for the 1/2 and one for full. They had extra snacks for the marathon runners, like pretzels and de-fizzed Coke, and several other things. I'm sure if I'd taken some they'd have let me, but I didn't need it. There were people here and there along the route cheering on the runners, which is always fun.

I was worried about burning out like I did with TOU so I didn't push things but kept pretty consistent at 11 1/2 minute miles. I had taken a 5 hour energy 20 minutes before the start and took a GU pack at mile 6, following it up with some water and rinsing my mouth to make sure I didn't get sticky-mouth from it, like I did last time. They provided Poweraide gels but since I'd never tried those, I was nervous about taking it so I passed. I only took one potty stop at mile 8 and there was no line, which was sweet. By mile ten I was still feeling really good and I considered really speeding up but didn't dare so I kept things steady. At mile 11 we entered a trail area which was awesome, very pretty, shaded, smooth, and I always like getting away from traffic. At mile 12 I finally felt confident enough to speed it up. At mile 12 1/2 a guy about 50 yards ahead of me collapsed. I feel bad I didn't stop, but a couple of women already had. He was trying to crawl forward and they were trying to convince him to sit. I felt bad for the guy--he was so close, but I ran right past cause I'm compassionate like that, and sent a little prayer in his direction, then laid it on even thicker.

There were lots of people lined up along the last 100 yards and they cheered and clapped and just really kept the energy up. This was the first race I've done where they called out your name as you crossed the finish, but it was awesome, and there were people all over the place clapping and cheering for me. They handed me my medal and removed the ankle bracelet timing chip (which I thought I would hate, it looked horrible, but I didn't even feel it as I ran) Great finish!

They had the best after-race snacks I have ever seen! First, the station was RIGHT behind the finish line so I didn't have to look for it. Chick-Fil-A was the main sponsor and they had chicken sandwiches available (if you like chicken, which I don't but the boys loved) They also had Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches, yogurt parfaits with granola topping, Winder Dairy Chocolate recovery drink which tastes like chocolate milk, water, Gatorade, fruit, multi-grain bagels--honestly it was awesome and the boys had been waiting there for two hours and were therefore stuffed by the time I arrived. People milled around but it wasn't congested.

My time ended up being 2:28.05 which was probably slower in actual run time than TOU (which was 2:30) because my one potty stop was so quick on this one, and about 5 minutes at the other one. However, I felt good at the finish and hadn't trained really well and so I'm very happy with how it worked out. Trevor placed 2nd in his age division--he ran a 5K in 20 minutes. Holy moley! Chris shaved 4 minutes off of his 5K PR, coming it at 30 minutes. I was very proud of both of them and they were wonderful sports about all the waiting around they did.

I will definitely run this race again and suspect it will quickly become one of the more popular 1/2 marathon's in the valley. As I said, my only complaint was the website and maybe the ankle chip but that didn't turn out to be so bad. The time of year worries me because it COULD have been rainy, and yet today's weather was absolutely perfect. It was cool, but not cold, the sun was out, but not hot. I thought they started it at the perfect time (I think TOU could have started 1/2 an hour earlier) the course was great and the overall planning and organization was the best I've ever seen.

All in all, a very good race--my favorite of the three I have run. The only thing that would have made it better would be to have had my sister, Crystal, there with me. She's been at both the other races and is just great company. Alison made a fabulous replacement, however, and was beyond supportive and helpful to me. She really did make this possible for me. I'm am blessed to have great people in my life!

I somehow managed to not take a single picture. Lame! If a race photo ends up half decent I'll post it later.

Where I was on September 11, 2001

I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with my youngest child and partial bed rest, meaning I did as little as I could. Lee's niece, Lindsy, was living with us during her senior in high-school. She was getting ready for school and I'd just woken up Breanna who was in second grade. A neighbor boy, Josh Crittenden, sometimes got a ride with Lindsy in the morning and he came to the front door and told us a plane had just hit a building in New York. I turned on the TV and we all watched the live report. I had no doubt it was a horrible accident. How could a plane go off course like that?

Smoke was pouring out the building, they were talking about all the people trapped on the top floors and then while we watched, a second plane hit a second building. We all went quiet--the whole world did as all doubt that this was an accident disappeared. Lindsy and Josh left for school, I finished getting Breanna ready. Just before she left, the first tower fell. It was horrible. I thought of all the moms who'd sent their kids to school that morning before going to work. All the people with pregnant wives or who were pregnant themselves--people like me who'd had a normal morning. I sat on the couch, watching the replay over and over again and wondering what would happen next. Then the plane hit the pentagon. And then the flight in Boston crashed into the field.

I had never been so grateful to live in little Willard, Utah. I felt safe here. I watched all the broadcasts until I couldn't take it anymore. I cried, I prayed, I wondered what the future would be like for my children.

Six weeks later I had my last child two months early. The following April my oldest child was baptized. In June Lindsy got married. Life went on. I didn't know anyone who died in the towers. I didn't know anyone who knew anyone who died in the towers. But it did change things. My children have grown up in a world that has been at constant war. Some of Lee's family have joined the armed forces. My oldest daughter wants to go into the military. I have the same fear of the future I had then, and yet I have the same faith I had too. Faith that we are strong, that we will move forward, and faith that those people who died were embraced by loved ones on the other side. I believe the intensity of September 11th will happen again. Perhaps several times in my lifetime. It scares me to think about that. I hope that fear is a healthy one, though. That it drives me to hold my children a little tighter, and teach them a little better about what I believe life is about. I still get emotional when I think of that day, and I still pray for those who lost so much. And I still hope for the strength to endure what might come next.