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Friday, October 26, 2007

Halloween Sucks and Other Inspiration for your Friday Pleasures

Inspiration #1)

One of the most positive things that will come from my children leaving home (in, oh, fifteen years) is that I can come out of the closet and put a big sign in my yard that says "No Tricken or Treaten you greedy little Monsters" I'm sure my own kids will find that hilarious by then.

It's not the candy--I'm all about candy--it's all the other crap. The cheap costumes, the freaky movies and TV shows, and the horrible decorations that just muck up my house. I hate carving pumpkins, I hate candy corn, and I hate being scared. My city does Trunk or Treat because the houses are so spread out it takes hours for kids to get a decent sized haul, so instead we have 40 cars that stick there back ends into a horseshoe shape and then 300 kids cycle through like the zombies--oh wait, they ARE zombies, and other creatures of death--they don't even say trick or treat. And it's cold out there. A couple years ago it was snowing and there we are serpentining through cars so we can get candy--much of which is nasty and will end up in my carpet or my child's hair.

I liked it when I was a kid--it was lots of fun--but I also bathed once a week back then whether I needed it or not and I thought Micheal Jackson was super cute. My opinions from that time can not therefore be trusted.

So, I'm having dinner with a friend last night and she hates Halloween too--there are few things better than holiday bashing with a kindred spirit--so a few years ago she says in her nephew's presence that she hates Halloween. He looks up at her with these big doe eyes and says "But you go to church. You can't hate Halloween."

Inspiration #2)

Allyson Condie left a comment on my blog the other day. She wrote a book that it getting all kinds of great reviews called The Yearbook, and she reads MY blog. Is that not awesome? Kinda freaks me out with people I know of, but don't really know, turn up on this place. I mean, it's awesome, but then I wonder who else is reading my blog. We know my mother isn't (else she'd have claimed her $100), so that's probably a good thing, and I don't think any of my neighbors do, also a good thing, but if Allyson Condie reads it--who knows. Very cool thing to consider. She doesn't have a blog though, so I can't respond in kind, so I'm doing it here--assuming she'll come back. However, if she's a Halloween lover she might not have made it this far. Bummer.

Inspiration #3)

I broke my Mighty Mouse which is the best mouse every invented. It goes with my mac and I love it, or at least I did. I only dropped it four feet onto a tile floor--you'd think it could have a bit more forgiveness in it's heart after all the months we've been together. I'm rather dispondent about it, and disappointed, dismayed, disgusted, disheartened, disllusioned, distraught, discombobulated, discommoded, and disharmonious about it, which only goes to prove that I put far too much affection into material things. I'm also rather dishabille today, especially when one considers I ought to try and be a bit more diseuse than I am, but perhaps that's to be expected when one is as disonant as I am this morning. The reason there are typos in this blog is because without my mighty mouse I don't know how to access my spell check and I'm a really nasty speller. I did try and fix a few but if I don't know how to spell them, how do I fix them? It's a quandry.


Come to think of it, two out of three of the "inspiration" of this blog are rather dis-inspriational, so I suppose you can consider yourself tricked. Tis the season.

17 comments:

RobisonWells said...

Josi, I like you more everyday. I hate Halloween too! I can't stand the stupid thing. I worked in a haunted house several years as a teenager, and it beat the enjoyment out of me. Now I just associate Halloween with aggressive stupidity and ill-intentioned mischief.

On your other comment, I'm currently reading Allyson Condie's First Day, and I think it's quite good.

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

josi,
you're so cute. i loved all your "dis" words especially in this. you are a gem. take care girl, kathleen :)

allyson condie said...

Josi, I hope I didn't scare you when I "outed" myself and posted a comment. I stumbled onto your blog via the frog blog (Jeff Savage mentioned you) and have been lurking ever since.

I can't believe that you even know who I am. You are the famous talented one. :)

P.S. Rob Wells, that just made my day.

Katie Parker said...

Hey, our ward did a "trunk & treat" last week. You're right, the kids do go through like zombies. Ours keep going through all the cars repeatedly till we finally say enough's enough and put all the candy away. After a while, they don't even look like they're enjoying it anymore. They just have to get their candy. Weird.

Josi said...

Well, I must thank Jeff--and certainly I was very pleased (can you tell I watched Pride and Predjudice tonight)

I saw Kaylyn Mangum left a comment on Julie Wright's blog a week or so ago and it intrigued me to consider who could be lurking--and then you showed up. Very cool indeed.

Ajoy said...

You're so cute! You shouldn't be getting me laughing this hard when my children are sleeping. :)

It's so DISHEARTENING to think that you are causing havoc in my home. hehe

Halloween is stupid.

Anne Bradshaw said...

Yay! More anti-Halloweenies! I'm one, too, but don't often admit, 'cos I'm scared of the spooks.

What a huge, money-making scam it all is. And for what? To get our kids and grandkids hyper on sugar; believing in ghouls and wizards and all things scary; and freezing their little tootsies off prancing from door to door in the dark.

Yeah, I'm in a right old spoilsport mood this early morning and it feels so good. :-)

newnorth said...

What? Halloween is great! First off CANDY. Plus the weather starts to cool off. I mean I don't go to haunted houses or do real scary, scary movies but who doesn't love getting together, shivering and giggling on a sugar high?

:D Happy Halloween (the trunk thing doesn't sound like much fun though I will admit)

Avery Gray said...

I think I know who made it to the "D" section in the dictionary. ;o)

And I'm with you on Halloween, but only for this year. I usually love it, but this year I just can't get into it.

W.L. Elliott said...

I cannot TELL you how glad I am that there are other Anti-Halloween-ites out there!

I hate to be scared, I hate the whole "ghost and goblin" thing, and I don't believe it's okay to teach children to beg!

Thank you, thank you, thank you - I am no longer alone!!

Deb said...

I knew I liked you for a reason. Candy corn sucks. My Mac is my lifeline to the world... I'll have to look into that Mighty Mouse thing. Sounds like something I could use, since I iz naht a gud spellur.

Candace Salima (LDS Nora Roberts) said...

I love opening my door to see all the cute primary kids in my ward trick or treating at our house. They are so darn cute and the young costumes are rarely grim. It's when the teenagers start coming later I'm not so fond of it.

Of course, this year we'll miss the whole thing because Alvin's headed back into the hospital for another surgery. I did solicit a promise from my sister to bring the kids in when they were done trick or treating so that we could see them. I'm going to make five little bags of candy for them. I hate to miss out in it this year.

Sorry you hate it so much.

A. Riley said...

My mother is VERY big into holidays. She got that from her mother. I also inherited the love of holidays, but on a lesser scale that my mother. :)

My mom's house is the house on the block that stands out. Everyone else has maybe a pumpkin or something. My mom has branches with lights, green and purple lights, pumpkins, scarecrow, etc.

I love Halloween. I'm not into haunted houses or scary movies. I don't like dressing up. I do however like the kids dressing up and we go to families houses and visit and get a little candy. I have some decorations around my house, but they are cutesy type - not freaky Halloween type.

Luisa Perkins said...

I hate Halloween. All my kids get is the ward party.

Oh, I make a fun dinner and we watch a movie together, but as far as the costumed T or T action? The ward party is where it's at.

Don said...

I love the costume thing - that's fun. The candy can be a little much, though.

My kids do NOT hold their sugar well, and this year I've put the kibosh on Trick or Treats.

Holly said...

I hate Halloween too. I live for the day when I don't have to do it. My kids love it though, so there you go. The things we do for our children!!

Jenna said...

What you said about Allyson Condie reading your blog...well that's how I feel about YOU!

Hey, I tagged you for a game over at my place.