The Benefit of a Bad Review

In February of this year, I had my first ever Publisher's Weekly Review. Not only was it a good review of "A Heart Revealed", it was a starred review--a week later I got a starred Kirkus review too! I blogged about these awesome reviews HERE and I was over the moon! I was writing a new genre and I so wanted the reception to be a good one. And it was. 

Hooray! 

Life is Good!

I have arrived!

But in the back of my mind was that niggling creature of doubt. Did I just get lucky in the reviewer who happened to get my book on their desk? Was this book the best thing I'll ever write? Will the book I'm working on be equal to it? Will it be a one hit wonder? Will the industry reviews translate the way my publisher hopes it will?

I didn't move these doubts to center stage--advice I would give to anyone--but I never forgot they were there. They gave me both encouragement to do my best work and validation that, in this book, it seems that I had. 

My next regency, "Lord Fenton's Folly" came out in the fall and I eagerly/anxiously waited for the PW and Kirkus reviews. Would they also be starred reviews? 

They were not. 
In fact, Kirkus said this: "Occasionally slow-moving, but an interesting take on respect and respectability and the choices a noble family must make when things go awry."

And then PW said this: "There’s something tawdry about putting “I believe romances are for silly girls or homely ones” in the mouth of a romantic heroine. A book would have to be a comic gem or a profound character exploration to recover from that slap to the reader’s face, and Kilpack’s second Regency (after A Heart Revealed) is merely a solid piece of genre writing, with no particular feel for its period but some nice imaginative touches."

And this: "There’s good stuff here, but it takes 100 pages to find it."

Umm ... well ... ouch.

There were other good reviews--Foreward, for instance, said "This novel will be a joy for any lover of true romance."

But I think most people agree with me in that the negative ones are the reviews that stick in your craw. They sap your creative energy like siphoned gas from your tank. Whatever you're working on is suddenly the enemy--it could bring this same experience again. You're embarrassed, you're discouraged, and it is very, very hard to pull yourself out of the funk that a few words throw you in to. To say nothing about those "few words" being on the internet and therefore eternal. I absolutely felt all of those things. I limped to some friends with my tail between my legs. I wallowed and felt like a loser. 

And then. 

I sat very still and realized that there was a new feeling--something I hadn't noticed amid the shame I felt. 

Relief. 

The fact is, I know I'm not all that. I love to write and I love my stories and I am beyond grateful when professionals validate that, but I'm not The Great American Novelist. I still have learning to do, and a bad review confirms that. It proves to me that I can't rest upon my laurels. It reminds me that I grow personally as I face challenges in my craft, and I need that personal growth. It gives me new goals to set and spurs me to be more objective about my work. I need that objectivity--every writer I know needs it--and a bad review is kind of a scraped knee in the pursuit of balance and skill necessary toward improvement. Sometimes we need people to tell us we can do better.

On the flip side of needed humility, I also need to love my work outside of what other people might say. That doesn't mean I'm not writing to an audience, I am, but I need to have my own separate relationship with my stories. "I" need to be their biggest fan, rather than waiting to see if other people like it before I make my own decision. In regard to the PW review where the reviewer highlighted one sentence that she felt offensive toward readers--we got the review before my publisher had sent the final edit to the printer. They gave me the option of changing that line if I wanted to. I spent hours redrafting that scene, anxious to avoid offending my readers, but some good friends encouraged me to think twice and my publisher was not asking me to change it. I again had to sit very still and look closely at that line. What was its purpose? Why did I have that particular sentence there in the first place? I was able to remember that the reason I wrote that line was to define an aspect of my character--a girl who was not false or cruel, but who makes a false and cruel comment because she wants the boy to like her. Who hasn't done that before? In the course of the story, while Alice never reflects on that line again, she comes to hide herself in similar things as a form of protecting herself. Her protection becomes much more extreme than an off hand remark--but that remark was the first of her falseness. I kept the line in the book. I owned it. And, quite frankly, I love it. I loved what that one sentence did for a story. I feel a kind of healing in the stories I write, a redemption of some small part of my own life or past that, through my characters, I get to relive and conquer. And that story healed something important for me regardless of what that reviewer thought. That doesn't mean that I can be wiley niley about the words I use, and I need to be wise, but I do not need to dispose of my love or healing simply because someone else didn't feel something the way I did.

I did not link my book to the poor reviews the way I linked "A Heart Revealed" to its starred reviews. I did not post the reviews on Facebook and I kind of held my breath when the book came out, wondering if other readers and reviewers would find the line offensive and the story weak. I was glad to have rediscovered my own love of that story, but I also need to sell books and if this book was a commercial flop I could be in trouble. However, the reviews began to come in and although not everyone loved it, most people did. A few people went out of their way to tell me is was their favorite book I had written. What I realized is that everyone, including myself, "gets" to have a different experience. Some people will be put off by something, other people will be drawn in by something else. For some people any book will be a waste of time, for other's it will make for a cozy afternoon, for others it will leave them thinking on something for days afterward. Just last week a reader sent me a link to a blog post she did about part of the book. It was beautiful, and allowed me to look more deeply at something I had written. You would think I would have the greatest insight, but I didn't, she did. You can read her blog HERE. 

In the bible it says that God can make "Beauty for ashes" and work evil "For our good." A bad review is certainly not evil, nor is it ashes, but it did compute to embarrassment and self doubt that, once I took the time to ponder and think, became something beautiful for me. It's made me think of other negatives in my life and how, between God and I, we might make them be for good. The tragic death of my brother has helped me to value life and try to be more attentive to those who find themselves in dark corners. A toxic friend has helped me mind my own tongue better. A difficult vice has turned me to God for help and grown sympathy towards others I have judged harshly. And, because of poor reviews, I have the motivation to be objective about my work and improve my craft, they have helped me to find my own love for a thing outside of anyone else's, and to cherish and appreciate those who see what I wanted them to see. I can be better for a bad review so long as I don't allow myself to stay in the "Molasses Swamp" of regret and shame for too long. I can also be better at sharing my enjoyment of someone else's work, so that the author gets to feel the validation we all need. There are critics everywhere, and we need them, but we also need cheerleaders and I very much hope to be a cheerleader for others rather than a critical voice (unless they specifically ask me to be critical, which some people do :-) )

There is relief in having someone else say that there is room for improvement--I would be very disappointed to learn I'll never be better than I am right now. 

To read the full PW review, go HERE
To read the full Kirkus review, go HERE
To read the Foreward review, which I appreciated SO much, go HERE

To share snippets of your own poor reviews, or experiences where ashes turned to beauty, please comment!

How Do You Overcome Lack of Confidence?

I received this question via Facebook and as I started to answer I realized it was a little more than a Facebook message, so I decided to blow the dust off my blog and post it here.

The actual question was "How did you get over (if you ever had it) the lack of confidence as you were writing?

First, LACK OF CONFIDENCE DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

I have lacked confidence throughout all fifteen of the years I've been writing. Over and over and over again I struggle to believe I can do what I've set out to be. I doubt my writing ability, I doubt my ability to find time, I doubt that people will be happy with the result. I read reviews that paralyze me, I face discouragements that make me wish I'd never started, I continually fear that my best ideas are already used up and whatever I do next will be lousy. Every writer I know faces it, so, yes, I have certainly faced with lack of confidence--I am right now battling a fear of being able to do something new and getting over a rather stinging rejection that took me away from my computer for weeks.


Second, THE ONLY WAY TO OVERCOME LACK OF CONFIDENCE IS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS.

Start with very small goals you know without a doubt you can accomplish that is not tied to anyone else's efforts but your own. Some examples of the easiest goals would be "Write for 15 minutes" or "Read a chapter in that how-to-write book"or "Look up submission guidelines for one agent." It will feel silly, because you know that you can do it, but that's the point. Most of us (especially women) live in a world of not only "I'm not enough" but "I shouldn't be enough." We compare and criticize ourselves to ridiculous levels about most things in our life. In the process, we train our brain to feel successful only when we are failing. It's neurotic, but we do it. Someone compliments our dinner and we point out that we didn't put enough carrots in the soup. Someone tells us we look nice and we point out that our pants are too tight. My best guess as to why we do this is that we are afraid of appearing arrogant and so we put ourselves down and create an atmosphere where we are more comfortable with our missing pieces than our wholeness. When we then take on something big, like writing, our brain is stuck in old patterns. We've trained our brain to be more attentive to our shortcomings and that's going to be a problem because we need to do well at this if we're to reach our goal. If you stay in that place of comfortable regret, you will never make this writing thing work. You have to allow yourself to be successful, it is the only way to build confidence and without that inner confidence, the outer pressure will crush this dream before it gets off the ground. This applies to much more than writing--in every part of our life it's through the accomplishment of objectives that we grow in our belief that we can do well at things. Set yourself up for success by setting small attainable goals.


Third, CELEBRATE ACCOMPLISHMENT.

When we accomplish those small and attainable goals, we need to celebrate them. In this case it's not a party (though it could be cake) it's simply being conscious that you did what you said you would do. You can say it out loud "I just wrote for 15 minutes!" you can write it down, you can tell a friend. Don't simply set another goal, take a moment to celebrate the one you just accomplished. This conscious practice of celebrating success floods your brain with happy chemicals that help teach your brain what to derive pleasure from. It is pleasurable to succeed at things, but since we're used to "I shouldn't be enough" it takes some training to get your brain on board with this. Find people who will celebrate with you--not everyone will--and share your success with them while inviting them to share their success with you. Many times we surround ourselves with people who are far more comfortable with our whining than our winning. Find people who will allow you to share your excitement and let them celebrate with you.

Four, TAKE FAILURE IN STRIDE.

Failure is both powerful and inevitable. You will face it and it will hurt. There will be some people who will try to spin it into "That wasn't fair" or "They don't know what they're talking about" and while it's nice to have that kind of support, if we don't "listen" to our failures and find out what they can teach us, we won't be better for them. On the other hand, if we let our failures stop us, we are giving them too much power. For me, I have tried to find a balance of feeling the hurt and embarrassment and disappointment for a period of time, and then forcing myself to be objective about it. Look for the truth in the failures and rejections, but don't live there. Remind yourself over and over again that this is a journey. You are not taking it only to accomplish something, you are here to learn. It's been said that you can learn more from your failures than your successes, I think this is true but it's up to you whether or not you approach them that way.

Best of luck. Happy Writing.

Third A--from Me Again

I don't mean, ME as in Josi, but Me Again as in that's her blogger name.  Here's her question:

 How do you feel about LDS fiction stories that not only stray from the probable, but take a summer vacation into the not even possible? 

I think that, regardless of the market (LDS, national, etc) believability is an essential characteristic of plot. That's the whole point of fiction--creating a world that feels 'real' enough that the reader can put aside their own life long enough to immerse themselves in this fictional realm. And yet, there is also a necessary element of the reader suspending their own beliefs enough to follow along. So there are two parties at play, the author and the reader.

Author: It's a tricky line; balancing the necessary elements of plot (characters, conflict and climax) against it 'feeling' real. In real life, people do things with very complex motives, they act out of character, they don't always make sense. In fiction, that doesn't work. Everything must have a reason; characters must have motives, the actions must be 'in' character, they must make sense on some level, and everything they do must lead somewhere. It's at times hard to do, and often takes another person to point out when something needs clarification. Too often, an author is seeing where they want to go and lose sight of the steps that are taking them there, often resulting in contrived or unbelievable scenes. They do the job of getting the character where they need to be, but their 'method of transportation' works against the integrity of the story. This is a shame since there was likely a better way to get from point A to point B; a mode the author would have discovered on their own if they would have questioned themselves about it. One of the best questions an author can ask themselves, and one I put into many manuscripts I edit is "Would he really?" meaning, would the character really do or say this; or are you the author taking advantage of your role as fiction-God and taking too many liberties?

Also, on the author side, it is sometimes impossible to be objective enough about your own work to see the breakdown of believability in our own stories which is why I am such a big proponent of having other 'writers' or editors read your book; someone who will tell you the truth so that your story makes sense. 

I'm a big believer that a writer can write about anything; new worlds, weird people, incredible circumstances--but it has to be written right and it has to feel real.

Reader: Different types of readers have different levels of ability when it comes to suspending belief. For instance, I have a difficult time with Science Fiction and Fantasy because I find so many elements of the genres hard to picture in my mind. My ability to suspend belief is rather low when it comes to new worlds. Whether that's because I lack imagination, or simply practice, I don't know, but it results in the fact that because it's difficult for me to 'believe' those types of stories, I don't enjoy them very much. Now, there are some I absolutely love, but overall I dislike more than I enjoy. Same with a lot of mystery novels, which is ironic since I write them, but many of them just annoy me because I can't clearly see the process of discovery--the detective too often just 'knows' something that leads to the conclusion (I'm guilty of this as well--as a few readers have pointed out but I'm really, really working on it). Some people have a difficult time with LDS fiction because there is a lot of inspiration, feeling the spirit, and intuition that often makes the plot work. Some people are very open to that--likely people that acknowledge those same workings in their lives, but others of us (myself included) struggle with the way this is portrayed at times and that makes it seem contrived in order to make the plot work or to make their character appear spiritual. A reader that struggles with certain genres ought to be very selective in the books they read within that genre which is why The Whitney Awards are so very cool--look for past winners to get a feel for the best out there; these are books that have literally been read by hundreds of people that cast votes that put these books in the positions they are in. A valuable tool, especially for those of us that are selective within genres.

On the reader's side there is also the factor of becoming a more discerning reader. I've gone back and read books I loved fifteen years ago, only to find myself rolling my eyes now. As I've matured and become more well read, I've learned what I like and what I don't like. I've developed a much more critical eye and my taste in reading has become more sophisticated. If a reader finds themselves displeased with several books within a shared reading level or genre, it might be that they have reached a 'reading' level beyond their comfort zone and need to move on to something with a bit more 'meat' to it.

It's always frustrating to me when a book makes it into print without having the unbelievable factors ironed out. I'm not sure why it happens. Are there other parts of the story that were so strong to the editors of the book that they didn't notice? Am I hyper sensitive? Regardless, it's a frustration. I find that in regard to believability and other elements of writing, I give books a 100 page rule (it used to be 50 but I've taken a gracious turn) if by page 100 I'm not dying to finish the book, I don't. There are excellent books out there which means I don't have to waste my time on ones that were almost excellent.

So, dear readers, where do you fall on the believability scale? Are there genres you find harder than others?

Will being an author cut Into time with my children?

I was recently asked by a fellow writer not yet published if a writing career was going to cut into her time with her children and family. She was very concerned with the effect her 'career' could have on her kids. She wanted reassurance. I'm not sure I gave it to her, but she caught me in a moment of painful honesty and that was with what I answered her. I thought I would include it here, not to discourage anyone, but simply to put into focus that while we all have our own 'plan' there are sacrifices to be made for all things we bring into our life and no one, NO ONE, gets out of that. I edited this a little bit for space and for relativity. If Writing isn't your thing, insert something else that fills your mind and heart, something you long for and yet fear at the same time. We all have them:

Yes. Writing will cut into your time with your children. It will cut into your time with your husband. It will cut into your housekeeping, gardening, exercise, reading, church callings, community responsibilities, family vacations, and at times your personal hygiene. Everything we do that is not right there next to our family takes us away from them. Sometimes it hurts. I have had times when I am blinking back tears as I drive to a presentation because I know my home and family are ‘undone’ yet I’ve made a commitment to whoever I’m presenting too and I can’t simply NOT do it. I’ve had times when my husband has told me I’m overdoing it and my focus is not where it needs to be. We have argued about it. My kids have said things like "You're always on the computer!" or "I don't want you to leave again?"

Sometimes I wish I’d never started because then I would have one less thing to worry about, one less piece to cut myself into. But when these moments come I remember that I was missing something before I started writing. I AM happier now than I was then, but simply being happy doesn't take the hardship away.

I have always been ambitious and busy and when I discovered writing all of that energy went into something that felt marvelous—sharing my thoughts within framework of characters and plots I grew to love was just . . . right. At the time it was so much fun that it was easy to fit in and enjoy every moment. It was a hobby. It isn't anymore. Since then it’s grown into a BIG thing in my life and it takes up a lot of room in my head, on my calendar, on my hard drive and in my house. I’ve chosen to make a place for it and I try to make wise decisions about how much space it can have, but it is there, it is always there. I’ve missed plays my kids are in, classroom parties, sporting events, and other significant moments because of obligations tied to my writing. I hate that, and yet writing is part of my reason for being here, I know it is. My kids are part of why I’m here as well, I know that too. They aren’t going to be in my home forever and writing might not be a part of my life forever either—there is no way to know what will happen next year or five years from now and so I try to do my best and enjoy both phases of my life as best I can. Right now I find myself at the top of my game, my books are doing better than ever and it thrills me to the core, but it also demands more of me and creates more stress in my life and that of my family. To stop now would be to lose what I've worked so hard for, and it's not an option. So I keep going, and I keep asking the Lord for help in finding balance, and I keep working on my mothering so that I don’t feel so guilty when I’m not physically present, and I schedule my presentations, and read writing books, and I brainstorm and edit and live in fear of the day when this might all be over. And I write.

Every day is a balance—sometimes my family is on the losing end of it. Sometimes my church calling is, or my husband, or my own peace of mind. But I love writing. I need it. And so I sacrifice for it with my eyes wide open, always looking at the scales to see if I’m off base, always watching for empty hours I can fill with words, and always praying that the Lord will let me know when I need to pull back.

He usually does, but that hurts too.

I can’t promise that adding a writing career won’t upset the balance in your home so much that you bleed. I also can’t promise that you will set such an example to your children that their lives will be forever blessed BECAUSE of your writing, not in spite of it. Every writer I know has to find the balance, has to make the choice to move forward, and then they have to commit to all of it—family, church, writing, and themselves. If you’re not ready, don’t do it. It is hard. If you’re ready, take a deep breath, get on your knees and pray for courage, faith and that you can keep your priorities straight.

Only you can decide if you're up to this, only you can add something this big to your life and find the balance. No one can do it for you, and no one should. Your life is your own journey, and no one carries your pack for you. Decide what you can carry, and then commit to do your best. I wish you luck.

Last Call: THE Teen Writers Conference

On June 6th, 2009, myself and some other fabulous authors will be presenting a writer's conference just for teens ages 13-19. The cost is $39 and lunch is included. We are so excited for this opportunity to help set the feet of these young writers on a path that will help them navigate some of the more difficult parts of establishing a career in writing. If you fit the criteria and would like to come, have a child that fits the criteria and would like to come, OR know a youth that fits the criteria and would like to come--please visit the website www.teenwritersconference.com for more information. Registrations must be postmarked by May 25th.

Thanks much,

It's Galley Time!

So, I got my galleys for Her Good Name today!

Some of you might not know what galleys are so let me put on my know-it-all-cap and tell you. After a book has been accepted for publication, edited, typeset (this is where they organize the type, fonts, format, spacing, chapter headings, page numbers, yada, yada), and proofed, the author gets a final look at the manuscript. It arrives on 8 1/2 x 11 paper, but the print is as it will look on a book page, centered in the middle of the sheet of paper. It includes title page, author notes, about the author, copyright etc. So it's basically the whole book, on big paper. The author then does a final proofread of the manuscript, looking for any little things that might have been missed by the editors and typesetters.

The first time I did this I didn't expect to find anything wrong, however, I was surprised just how many little things I found. I continue to be surprised each time as I find a repeated word, a misspelling (which must be REALLY bad for me to find it) and little formating things. In truth, I don't find many, but each one surprises me, but in a good way--reminding me that editors are mere mortals like myself. The author has a couple of weeks to go through the pages--but I'm rather obsessive (don't pretend you didn't already think that about me!) and I'm planning to have them done as soon as possible. We leave on vacation in 9 days, so I'll definitely have them done by then.

Usually the galleys are printed by the publisher and mailed, but with the time crunch we decided to do an e-mail and then I printed them up--which is no biggie cause I have a laser printer and it's pretty cheap for me to print them out. I've gotten my housework caught up, forwent the shower and getting dressed part of the day (who am I kidding, I forgo those things on a regular basis) and I'm getting ready to settle in to a delightful evening of galley proofing. It's been a few months since I've read this story so I'm excited to go through it again and enjoy my own brilliance now that I'm not so sick of it that it sounds like the verbal equivalent of cornmeal mush.

It helps that my husband and child #2 are in Las Vegas where hubby is looking into a business to buy and child #4 is at a cousins house in southern Utah. They will all be back tomorrow but I've managed to get their rooms changed around (remember the tanning bed plea? It's been put into action) and followed Don's lead I defrosted my freezer yesturday (unfortunately I missed the guavalicious contest--bummer). I had a 'sensible' lunch this afternoon so dinner will be a Isagenix shake--the chocolate one is actually quite good with a banana in it--and since I don't get snacky I won't even have to think about food! I got some Bagelful's at the store yesterday and my kids think they are the bomb cause I don't often buy stuff like that (they were on sale for $2.5o instead of $4 and I had a $1 coupon) so they can have that for dinner.

Life is good, my galleys await me, and I don't cleanse again until Thursday! Oh, and per Rachelle's comments on the Her Good Name blog in regard to opting out of junk mail, I did a little research and posted the information on that blog. If you're interested in that info please head on over there.

Have a lovely day!

Strongly Worded Letter Saves the Day--again

For anyone that has heard me speak about my 'start' in writing, you've heard of my love affair with strongly worded letters--basically, letters I write when I've been wronged. I love them, really love them, and for a few years into my writing career I had made more money off of them than I had my novels. Here's a brief recap.

*My first SWL (which could be turned into Swell, which totally works for me) was about 12 years ago after we did sweat equity (translate into blood, sweat, and tears equity) on our first house. We spent a few hundred dollars, an embarrassing amount of time, and still managed to mess it up. We did all this because we'd been promised a couple thousand dollars off our closing costs. Well, the builder fired the employee that made that promise and refused to give us the money. I was spitting mad, well, maybe writing mad. I composed a four page letter that explained, in four page detail, how they'd ripped us off, had no integrity, and were basically going to hell. My hubby thought it was a waste of time, and I agreed--but it made me feel better so I sent it. A few weeks letter I had a note of apology and over $2,000. This was likely a turning point for my writing career as I realized that words could be valuable.

*About 6 years ago my husband and I bought a timeshare. We got it because of several promises made in regard to how easy it was to use, how easy it was to let other people use it, and what an asset it would be to my husband's business through the reward options of extra weekends. All of these proved false. Our attempts to talk to our sales guy went unaddressed until I blew up and wrote another letter threatening all kinds consumer agencies that would love to hear my story. Fast forward three weeks, we received back every penny we had paid even though all I asked was to have the monthly payments stopped.

*I once found a hair in a cookie, I sent it back with a letter and received $10 in free cookie coupons.

*I once had a cereal that tasted like chap stick, I told the company and they sent me about $12 worth of free coupons.

*I paid $120 for a hair straightener (if you had my hair, you would too). It broke after three months. I had my receipt and was able to get the warranty honored. 9 months later--truly two days after my warranty expired, it broke again. I sent a letter explaining it and received a newer model replacement.

*I once bought a package of pens that had the lids not closed all the ways, the felt tips were dried out. I mailed them back with a note and received a whole gift pack full of all kinds of pens made by this same company.

*We did a company party at a restaurant/hotel and it was horrible. I sent a letter detailing this and we received a two night stay at the hotel with all meals as well as a 50% refund on what we spent on the party.

I could go on and on, I've written a couple dozen letters and 90% of them has been effective one way or another. It's not always about money, it's been about contracts, and promises, and immoral commercials. The least effective is the commercials, however some of them disappeared soon after I complained--coincidence? Perhaps, I chose to think I'm all powerful.

Soo000, about two years ago I bought a Pampered Chef Deep Dish baker. Love it. Love everything from Pampered Chef I own except for the weird rolling pin I've never figured out, although it's a dandy back massager. Anyway, I loved this deep dish baker. About a month or so ago I was cooking fish, and for the last couple minutes I set it to broil. When I opened the oven the dish had split down the middle. Luckily, the fish was still edible, but my dish was a total loss. I was very sad because, as I said, I loved this pan. For anyone that's not a homemaker or a cook that might sound strange, but I know many women with strong attachment to their cooking implements.

Well, the two pieces sat on my counter for weeks--further entrenching my sadness each time I looked at them. Pampered Chef is a great company and I have had things replaced by them in the past, but I'd always had my receipt. For some reason, I had no receipt of this pan. I looked everywhere and finally had to accept I was out of luck. Without a receipt, how could I possibly prove I deserved a replacement? However, with my lengthy track record I decided it was worth my $5 to send it back, with a letter of explanation, and see what happened.

Low and behold, yesterday there was a big box from none other than Pampered Chef. I didn't get a deep dish baker, but I did get a stoneware rectangular baking dish with the same finish as the deep dish baker. Their prices are comparable and I'm in no mind to complain in the least.

If you too would like to establish a track record of refunds, here are a few tips

*Be as nice as possible. Even if you've been wronged there is a difference between saying "To Whom it may Concern" and saying "You bulbous faced idiot"
*Keep it one page or less. I learned after the first 4 page letter than most things can be said in a page and that's all they will likely read anyway. Sometimes, admittedly, you need more than one page, but usually you don't.
*Sound professional. Write the letter on you computer, in block format, with good grammar. Don't personally attack anyone specific unless they really earned it (like the timeshare guy that made us all the lame promises)
*Be wary of making demands. Now sometimes you have to, such as demanding our sweat equity money, but most of the time leaving it up to them will get you a better return. If you ever saw the Seinfeld episode where Kramer burned himself with coffee and then agreed to the settlement as soon as they said they'd give him a lifetime supply of free coffee. He cut them off before they got to the money part of their settlement.
*Include as many details as possible, such as purchase date, attempts you've made to contact them, who you've spoken too.
*Be absolutely 100% honest. I have never attempted to hoodwink anyone into giving me something, or replacing something, or refunding something that I didn't deserve to have replaced. I'm always honest on how it broke. For examply, I broke my Mac Mouse a few months ago. I dropped it, which voids the warrenty. I took it to an Apple store and they suggested I send it back--since it didn't look broken--and just tell them it stopped working. I didn't do this. I bought a new mouse and sold the broken one on eBay for $10 (new they are $75) I admit it was hard, since I know I could have gotten away with the lie, but I didn't do it. All my letters have been sincere and I think that's made a huge difference.
*Send a thank you. When a company does take your words seriously and makes an effort to right a wrong, be sure and send them a thank you so that they know it was appreciated. Besides, being grateful is a highly underestimated gift to yourself. Acknowledge that they had the choice to ignore you and they didn't, that's big.

Anyway, I've included the letter I wrote to Pampered Chef. Some of my letters are not quite so nicely worded, but in this instance they owed me nothing since I had no reciept, so I kept it very light and complimentary. Bon Appetite.

Josi Kilpack
Address here
phone number here
Kilpack@gmail.com

Pampered Chef
One Pampered Chef Ln.
Addison, Illinois 60101-5630

April 7, 2008

To Whom it May Concern:

I’m returning my stoneware deep dish baker because, as you can see, it broke. I looked through my receipts and can’t find the show through which I bought this one. I have many pampered chef products and them, I very much liked this particular piece. I live in Willard Utah and would have purchased it through one of the shows I’ve attended in the last few years, but I can’t remember which one, let alone, which consultant I bought it through. I got it when the cranberry exterior was new and I’m hoping that there is some way I can get a replacement. Again, I realize that without a receipt I might not be able to do that, but I’m wanted to try. I was cooking some fish and opened the oven to check on it to find the dish cracked down the middle.

If I can’t get a return, well at least the pieces are out of my kitchen. Thank you for your consideration. Best of luck.

Sincerely,


Josi S. Kilpack