Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

No, I'm not really giving out Chicken Dinners, and I wouldn't eat it anyway, yuck. BUT, I do have the winners for the Free copy of Lemon Tart contest. Thank you to everyone who entered, not only is my website now squeaky clean, but I've got wonderful online reviews and I, well, I just feel so darn loved!

So, here are the winners--I'll be e-mailing you as well, but BIG congrats.

1st copy--Melissa C
2nd copy--Ali C.

Thanks again for everyone that played, I so appreciate all the support and the wonderful comments you've left me. If you've already read Lemon Tart, please consider leaving an online review at either Deseret Book or Amazon--it really is one of the most effective marketing tools available, and one that I can not do for myself.

Thanks again!

Free Bio-35

I've made mention on this blog previously about how much I love the multi-vitamin Bio-35. I've tried many vitamins over the years (can you say Amway, Arbonne, Isagenix) but, for me, if I can't FEEL it, then it's not worth my time or my money. I've heard all the rhetoric about vitamins being full of fillers and not doing any good, and I beleived that until I tried Bio-Pro.

I've now taken it for about 4 years and definitely notice when I miss it for a few days. When I used it regularly I have more energy during the day and my mood stays more even. Along with other changes I've made in my lifestyle, I've managed to lower my cholesterol almost 50 points since I began taking it. My kids are better behaved, my laundry folds itself and my husband gives me nightly back rubs too! (okay, so not those last few, but still . . .)

So, for all these reasons, when I heard they were giving out two week samples--I thought of you; yes, you! If, like me, you think you ought to be able to FEEL the difference when you're taking all that good stuff into your body, and you've wondered if it's worth the money (about $18/month/person taking it) AND would like to give it a shot, here's your chance.

Click HERE for the link to get your free sample and/or to read more about it.

And I Married Him Anyway

Lemon Tart contest runs until January 30, click HERE for the post

Before I thought of Lee as my husband, I thought of him as the cute-guy-with-the-mullet-that-passed-the-sacrament-and-wore-the-pink-tie. We ended up in the same weight training class my sophomore year. He was a senior. We flirted--well, I flirted, he bench pressed--and giggled--okay, I giggled, he laughed at the wacky things I would say--but eventually we decided to go on an actual date.

It was the night of what was supposed to be Lee's high-school graduation. He'd found out a week earlier that he wasn't graduating. He was .25 credits short in English but they hadn't caught it in time for him to make it up. Sorry. Never mind that his counselor had told him a year earlier that he would never amount to anything and he may as well drop out. He didn't drop out, but now he wasn't graduating all the same. My sister was graduating that night too and we were SUPPOSED to go to the graduation and sit in the audience with my parents. But from the very start I knew that it would be incredibly easy for me to say I simply didn't see them there and sat somewhere else. This was before cell phones, and graduation was at the Huntsman Center. It wasn't a stretch. And so we didn't go to the graduation ceremony (please don't tell my parents or my sister) First of all, who wants to watch all their friends graduate when they've been cut out of it? And second, we were stupid teenagers. Instead of attending the graduation we broke into a cabin up little cottonwood canyon. We thought it was Lee's friend's uncle--which of course made it okay--but in a quirky twist of weird fate, it turned out to belong to the counselor in our bishopric, a point I learned a year later when we went up there for a Young Womens planning night. Creepy.

So, we go to this cabin and . . .FAST FORWARD . . . decided it was time to go home--the graduation ceremony had been over for about an hour. I put the leftover hot dogs and root beer in a bag (he's said I could HAVE it--is that sweet or what?) It was May, and there was still a lot of snow on the ground. There was a foot path that wound around some cabins up to the parking lot, but it was kinda long so Lee suggested we just go up the hill.

I say, "But I'm in a dress and I paid $9 at Payless for these white leather (i.e. plastic) boots with the cut out stars and the rhinestones on them that don't have any traction."

He says, "I'll help you, we'll be fine."

Then he holds my hand, and dang but I was happy to walk through three foot snow drifts in my traction-free cut out boots if I got to hold his hand. So we start up--and it's not too bad. The snow is frozen so I manage to stay on top of the crust and every time I slide he held on a little tighter. So far, this was totally working for me.

We're almost half way up and the snow drops down to where it melted away from the trunk of a huge pine tree. We're right next to the branches, but have about ten feet of no snow until the drift starts up again.

And then we hear the growl.

Not a small little whimpering growl that says "You're bigger than me and I'm scared" this was a low, long, deep growl that says "Dinner."

We both freeze and then we take off--except that Lee actually moves while I spin in place on wet soggy pine needles, holding tight to the bag of hot dogs and root beer. Somehow he lets go of my hand, which was nice in that it allows me to use that hand to help claw my way over the frozen snow drift, but bad in the sense that he'd totally abandoned me. I'm stepping on my skirt, clutching the bag and still getting no traction. Lee has now reached the top and yells down "Hurry."

So I pull up the skirt of my dress, drop the bag in hopes that the bear will find hot dogs ample substitute for my calves, and punch it. I sink in the snow this time--which was rather cold on my bare legs now exposed due to the fact that I've had to hike my skirt all the way up to move my legs, the snow is pouring into my star cut out boots but I claw, crawl my way up to the top where Lee is waiting for me.

The look on his face when I reach him clues me in to the fact that my skirt is cinched around my waist. I drop it, then he looks me in the face. "I thought you were right behind me."

"Whatever--you got to the top and yelled for me to hurry when I hadn't moved a foot! I'm in a skirt and stupid boots, for cryin out loud, you coulda helped me a little."

"Well, I knew one of us might need to go for help."

We're half an hour from "help", and the bear would be picking his teeth with my ribs by the time Lee got back to me. But his comment reminds both of us that we were running from something so we hurry to the car, get in and lock the doors. We drive a quarter mile before I make him stop so I can empty the snow out of my boots. My skirt is soaked, I'm freezing, AND I lost the hot dogs. I'm not a happy starry-eyed 16 year old anymore. Good thing we'd taken care of the kissing at the cabin cause I wasn't in any mood for it anymore.

But then he reaches across the emergency brake, takes my hand, and with his other hand turns up the MC Hammer Tape. I feel my desire not to kiss this guy fading as MC croons in the background. It's hammer go hammer MC hammer yo hammer and the rest can go and play, Can't touch this.

How can a girl hold her resolve in a situation like that?

"Are you okay?" he asks with those melty blue eyes.

I nod.

"Do you want to go out next week so I can make it up to you?"

I nod again. "A Drive-in, maybe?"

And the rest, as they say is history.

(Disclaimer--I in no way mean to condone not-graduating from high school, breaking and entering, pre-marital partial nudity, lying to family members, being alone with a cute guy in a cabin, or littering. I would also like to point out that Lee worthily served a mission six months after this, we married in the temple and it is now perfectly okay that he sees me half naked. And no, we never found out what was in that tree--we did go to the drive-in though.)

Lemon Tart Contest!!

I just got the release date for Lemon Tart, my first Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery. It will be released on March 4! Wohoo, I'm so excited and in order to share that excitement (and help gear up for my promotion phase) I'm hosting a contest.

There are three ways to enter, all of them can be taken advantage of through my website and you can enter any and all of the ways listed--basically quantidurpiling your chances of winning. (I made that word up :-)



So, here's how you enter:

1--Go to my website www.josiskilpack.com and click on the "Lemon Tart" menu option. Read the first chapter posted there, then e-mail me and tell me what time the timer dinged. kilpack@gmail.com

2--Leave an online review of any of my four most recent novels at Deseret Book Online. You can access the website via the "Buy the Book" Button on the pages for those books on my website (it will not obligate you to buy anything--just take you to the page where you can leave a review) Then e-mail me and tell me which book you reviewed. kilpack@gmail.com (If you've already posted a review, the website won't let you leave another one on that particular book--sorry)

The eligible books are:
Her Good Name
Sheep's Clothing
Unsung Lullaby
To Have or To Hold

3--Due to my computer crash in October, I have been unable to update my website. Now that I finished English Trifle (did I forget to mention that? I FINALLY FINISHED ENGLISH TRIFLE AND TURNED IT IN--HAPPY DANCE WITH ME, PEOPLE!) I took three whole days to rebuild my website from scratch. I'm sure there are several typos, dropped links, etc. If you find any of those things, e-mail me the mistake and you find yourself entered. I will fixing mistakes as soon as one person lets me know, so you'll want to be the first one. You get one entry per page that you find typos on--so if you find a mistake on three different pages, you get an entry for each one you point out. If you find three typos on one page, you get one entry--does that make sense? kilpack@gmail.com

In addition to the contest, I'll be having my Opening Night Party sometime in March--if you would like to receive a postcard invitation with a discount (only good that night), please e-mail me your mailing address.

AND there is an option on the website to pre-order autographed copies of Lemon Tart via the website as well.

So, there you have it--multiple chances to win one of the first copies of Lemon Tart. I will be sending out the copy as soon as I receive the books--probably the first week of March. This contest will go through January 30th, at which time I will draw two names and post the winners.

Thanks for playing!

(I had e-mail links, but Ali pointed out they weren't working--and I don't know how to make them work so I've fixed them. She got an entry for pointing out the problem :-)

Blonde Moment # 10,569

Wednesday I had a GREAT writing day. GREAT writing days have been rather hard for me to come by lately. I'm on my very first deadline and finding it to not be nearly as cool as I thought it would be. I've been writing like mad and cranking out the words--but it hasn't been fun, I've constantly questioned what I'm writing, and though I like what I'd created I knew it wasn't fabulous. So basically I was spending all my time working on something I wasn't liking very much. I've been writing on a timer--which means I make myself write for 30 minutes, then go do something fun--like clean a toilet, mop the floor, sort socks. What, those don't sound fun? EXACTLY my point. When things like that become the reward for writing, it says a lot about how much I've been enjoying the writing, doesn't it?

But Wednesday was a GREAT writing day. Tuesday had also been good, which made Wednesday even better. I wrote for almost four hours--didn't even think about laundry or flossing or anything like that. My wonderful, fabulous, cheerleading friend Julie had put me on a 1,300/day diet back in December so I could finish this book. I'd been following her plan, but calling every few days to whine about it (keep in mind Julie has two full time jobs on top of her own writing--and I'm complaining to her because I only have 6 hours a day to myself. Yes, I have fabo friends that put up with me).

I felt like I'd finally broken that barrier and I had to call her and tell her about it--knowing she would scream and squeal on the other end of the line and drop everything to tell me how happy she was for me.

So I dialed her number, waited three rings and heard, "Hello."

(Imagine this next part being said at 100 miles an hour in my high-pitched excited voice) Hi, it's me, I just had to call you because I knew you'd be so happy for me, I'm writing, and I love it and I resolved all those stupid plot holes and I'm so dang excited and I actually like this and it's finally just coming to me, ya know, and I feel like I could write for hours--I'm like some kind of super hero--and . . . hello? . . . hello?"

She'd hung up on me!

Well, that was rather anti-clamatic. So I hit redial and just happen to glance at the number before putting it to my ear. Was that a 9 instead of a 6? It's supposed to be a 6. Did I dial the wrong number?

Sure did.

Some lady with a prefix of 849 was just reminded that she needed to talk to her kids about the dangers of drug use again.

School Daze--shudder

So, Jenna, at one of my favoritist blogs, Cranberry Corner, is going back to school. My neighbor (with 3 girls ages 1-7) is also back in class. And even my dear husband is doing the online thing. Ironically, all of them are going into nursing. My hubby is already an RN, but would like to get his Bachelor's degree. Even though he doesn't work in the field right now, he wants to shore (sure?) up his options and his nursing license has been a great security for us throughout our marriage.

I look at all these people--grown ups every one of them--and think, gosh, maybe I should go back to school, too. I mean, my kids are in school all day now and there are two wonderful universities within a thirty minute drive of my house; not to mention an IT school and an extension just ten miles away. It might be fun.

This lasts for about twelve seconds, then my stomach knots up, I have difficulty breathing, and I throw up.

It's not that I'm a bad student--I mean I was a solid C student through most of my schooling, except for my senior year when I went all Marion the Librarian and brought my GPA up to 3.6. I had some good teachers and some bad teachers, and one teacher in particular that said to me "I'll never understand why women go to college when they're sitting on a fortune." Think about it--it's pretty crude.

After high school, I attended a year of college and took all my writing classes. I was set toward getting an Associate of Science degree and decided to do my favorite classes first. I wrote two scintillating papers--one on the contagious aspects of a yawn and one on sex change operations--yes, I did choose my own topics, why do you ask?

Halfway through that year my missionary came home. We got married in April and three weeks later I kicked off my shoes and went about getting pregnant. I've been happily uneducated ever since.

Now, don't get me wrong, I loooooove to learn--love it. I love to be a know it all, I love knowing weird details about things like the fact that one pickle has all the sodium your body needs for a year--it's true, I read it in Reader's Digest. I love to read, I love, love, love, Wikipedia, and I have been a voracious student of writing skills (not that my blog reflects it, but still). However, do not put me in a classroom and make me take a test. Oy, the very idea gives me a headache. Truly, I don't think I could do things like complete assisgnments and color in bubbles on the little test thing--do they still do that?

I have returned to the classroom a couple times--I had to go to a three week class to get my Dietary Manager certification when we owned the Assisted Living facilities--hated every minute of it but I framed the certficate all the same and I'll admit to a sense of pride that I passed the test and could serve my pork roast with confidence, knowing it had been cooked to the optimal internal temperature. I also took a class on photoshop a couple years back. It was a pass-fail class based upon finishing the different segments. As soon as I'd completed 60% of the work I could stop attending if I wanted to--seeee yaaaaaa.

I do realize that if the economy gets worse and my books stop selling I might have to get a job--and truly I'm woefully unqualified for pretty much everything but daycare--however, I'm not a big fan of kids so I don't see that as a good option (neither to the parents that would entrust their little darlings to my care). I'm a great waitress though and would make a pretty good checker at a grocery store--neither of which require me to have any kind of special certification AND they pay like $6/hour. After making about $1.50/hour writing books and doing laundry and dishes for free these last fifteen years--that sounds like a lot of money!

So, yes, this is a hats off to those of you that have the discipline and dedication to go to school--I do admire it--and yes, this blog could also be construed as a plea that people don't stop buying books. But, mostly, this is me coming out of the proverbial closet and being grateful that I live in a country where I am free to be an uneducated lump if I want to.

Would you like fries with that? A baked potato is going to cost an additional $1.25 but the butter and sour cream is free.

Leaving, on a Jet Plane

So, my husband is on his way to Costa Rica on business today. We had tried to figure out how I could go so that we could find a hammock somewhere and have an entire conversation, but with $600/airline ticket and four kids, we had to give up the dream. His flight left at 8:00 and we live an hour from the airport, so last night I set the alarm for 5:05, giving him 40 minutes to get ready and then he'd arrive within an hour and a half of his flight. It's all good, right?

Well, it only works if you turn the alarm ON.

At 6:30 I wake up and I slug Lee in the shoulder. "It's 6:30!" I say as I scramble out of bed and then just stand there. How am I supposed to help him?

"It is not," he says, jumping out of bed, looking at the clock. "Crap, it's 6:30!"

He runs into the bathroom to stick his head under the tap and throw on the clothes he'd set out. I stand in the middle of the room for a minute, then go into the kitchen, then come back into the bedroom and then inspect the alarm clock. "I didn't turn it on," I say, finally awake enough to figure it out.

Proof that I married an amazing man="It's okay," he says after rinsing with some mouth wash cause he doesn't have time to brush his teeth. You have to understand that my husband is a little obsessive about his morning routine--he always showers, even if he's going to do yard work and knows he'll shower when he finishes, and he always brushes his teeth for a full 2 minutes (which is why he's had 2 cavities in his life--I've had dozens). If he'd done this to me I'd be totally ticked and making snide comments that could sound like I wasn't mad, but really left little room for any doubt.

He double checks his bags and puts on his shoes while I go back to standing in the middle of the room. I did pick up his lap top bag and hold it for him. He finishes up, kisses me, takes the laptop and disappears into the morning.

At 8:09 I receive this e-mail from his blackberry

I think i made it to the parking lot in about 45 minutes(i was flying and no traffic.) Bus was fast at parknjet. Check in was fast but they said we board in 2 minutes! I ran to security and the line was huge! I finally got through that and got to the gate just as my group was called. Thanks for your help. I will chat with u later...miss u already

Did I totally luck out in the husband department, or what?

All this reminded me of an essay contest I entered last year--it's very fitting right about now. And Even though I've gotten used to Lee being out of town, and he's going to be back on Tuesday, for some reason it's different when he's going that far away. So, although some of you read this when I won the contest, I'm gunna post it again because I miss my sweetie.

My Ideal Day
By Josi S. Kilpack

Seawater clings to my skin and the tropical flora seem intent to convince me nothing in the world exists but this—right here, right now. Somewhere up the beach fish is grilling while beans boil in a covered pot. Mangos are in season and their ripening scent competes with that of the flowers all around me.

Can you smell it?

The call of a thousand sea birds fills the sky and my hammock creaks amid it’s swaying. The Ocean breeze creates a whispered symphony as it travels through the palm leaves above, behind, beside me. His footsteps approach while the waves crash and crash and crash upon the shore. They keep rhythm with my breathing until he whispers in my ear and breath deserts me entirely.

Can you hear it?

The air is thick and salty, each wave sending a tribute of itself toward the heavens when it breaks upon the beach. The sand is soft and supple on my feet and the world is moving back and forth as the hammock sways. Back and forth, back and forth. His hand lingers on my cheek, my neck, my shoulder and we try and see if it's a hammock built for two.

Can you feel it?

Sky as big as it’s ever been, the flat and flawless countenance broken only by the constant motion of the sea. His eyes are as blue as the ocean surrounding us and the grasses and ferns are so green it's as if the color was invented just for them. The sun is made brighter by the reflection of whitened sand as his footprints are sucked back into the sea with every wave that rolls upon the beach.

Can you see it?

I am late for nothing and no one depends on me to be fed, or cleaned, or delivered. I have no deadlines, no appointments, no bills to pay, or calls to make. There are no excuses to fill my mind. There is no distraction from our course. And he is here too, as free as me. We have nothing to do but find us again; the us that sometimes gets lost in the laundry and board meetings, the carpools and lawn mowing.

With a little luck, the journey back to us will take all day.

And in case you haven't had enough of me today--I was a featured Molly on Modern Molly Mormon today :-)

Howling at the Moon

I love sleep--really, really love it. I need about 7 hours a night to function well and I reward myself with naps when I can--which isn't very often. Sunday afternoon is nap time and we are as religious about it as we are with going to church. There is no doubt that my best days follow a good night's sleep. It's important to me.

Well, I'm having a hard time sleeping this week. It's like I'm just not really sleeping--I'm in this hovery dream state where I'm annoyed with myself because I know I'm not getting rest, but I'm watching this weird thing play out. But it's been three or four nights and I'm tired dangit!

I think it might have something to do with the full moon--I noticed in November that I had a hard time sleeping during the full moon and now I'm having a hard time again which gives me permission to obsess. Stay with me here;

I worked as a night-shift CNA in high-school and through the old folks I took care of I learned a great respect for rhythm--rhythm of the daily routine, rhythm of the human body, and rhythms of the world at large. There was a disorder called Sundowners, where Granny and Gramps who were sweet and wonderful during the day, would literally go crazy when the sun went down. I didn't beleive it till I saw it--and holy schmokes was it scary. Not all old people were affected, but probably 30% of the people in my nursing home were thrown off by some version of Sundowners. Most just got confused, but there were a couple that became freaking ax murderers (especially the guy that really had been an ax murderer). On regular nights it was annoying, but during the full moon things were just bonkers. We CNAs would check the schedule at the first of the month to see who was scheduled to work the Alzhiemer's unit over the full moon--we deserved time and a half, but never got it. It would build in the days before the moon was full, then explode that night.

So, I'm thinking that might be what I have--except that would mean I should be sane come morning.

So maybe I'm watching too much TV--I really, really, really like TV and become really sucked in these last few weeks. I spent three days watching extreme wieght loss stories--fascinating. Today, I'm watching back to back Presley Biography's and all I gotta say is, what the *#$% were Priscilla's parent's thinking. They really thought their 17 year old daughter that had been in love with Elvis for three years stayed at the next door neighbor's house when she visted him in LA? Duh. Anyway, when I try to sleep all the stuff I've watched on TV is blurring toghther with holiday things that really happened. I don't like it. I'm tired and cranky. And lest you think my house is in shambles and my WIP is covered in cobwebs--I'm a master at using commercials to my advantage and I write while I watch TV. But it might not be healthy.

I can't take Nyquil. The last time I did, I was awake for the next 18 hours. I'm really funny with medications--they don't affect me the way the label says. Basically I stick to anything Tylenol, but I take half the dose. So Tylenol PM is a good thing, but I don't want to take that every night for the rest of my life.

So, people, help me out here. I wanna good night sleep tonight and I'm running out of ideas, but the moon is waning now (I think--it's hard to see with the clouds that keep snowing)

Out and In--08 to 09

Moments I could have lived without in 08:

*The midnight knock on my bedroom door that rocked my world. We’ve made great progress since that day, but I’ve lost the naive belief that doing my best means my kids won’t have to face certain trials.

*The realization that someone I love (not the same one that knocked on my door) really doesn’t want to change and that I can’t fix her. This realization has been several years coming, but this year I felt like I really put myself out there to make the difference, and I believe this person truly faced a couple chances to change her life—and she turned her back on every one of them. I’ve crossed the line of no longer feeling capable of making myself vulnerable to manipulation, which means that I can no longer fool myself into believing that I have anything else to give her. I've also realized that my attempts to help her seem to hurt me and my family too much to risk it anymore. Thank goodness I believe in prayer so that I know there is still something I can do that will help her more than I ever could.

*Opening the door and being served papers filed by the guy that already ripped us off. His choices have put my family on the precipice, and yet he’s alleging we owe him even more. This has shaken my belief that people are basically good. It will likely influence 2009 a great deal and I’m dreading that.

*Hubby working in Las Vegas. I miss him and home isn’t the same without him and yet I’m accepting that this will be our life for awhile.

*Ending the year five pounds heavier than I started. I'm gunna have to give up my daily baking fetish. I miss it already.

*Giving pets away. This still just makes my heart ache and overwhelms me with feelings of failure. I wish I’d never had the animals in the first place—please remind me of that if I find myself tempted again!

*My computer crashing—but y’all have heard enough about that.


Favorite Moments of 08:

*Celebrating 15 years of marriage to a man that proves to me everyday that God loves me. When I look back at these 15 years I marvel at who we started as and who we've become. I am grateful beyond measure that although we've both grown in different ways, we've stayed together throughout our journeys.

*Winning The Whitney Award for Sheep’s Clothing—this was such an incredibly validating moment for me and even though I was a big baby when I accepted it, I will never forget that evening. For those that think it's unfair Her Good Name is ineligible--one of the reasons I joined the committee was so Her Good Name wouldn't be eligible--then I can say I've won the Whitney every year I was eligible :-)

*Celebrating 10 years of writing—I wasn’t published until 2000, but I started writing ten years ago and now I marvel that I ever had a time where I wasn’t overwhelmed with the problems of fictional characters.

*KB started first grade which meant I have 6 hours to myself five days a week—priceless

*Jeanie received high honors at her school and was invited to a special award ceremony for it—this was something both of us really needed and it was wonderful to see her accomplish so much.

*Running—I have truly loved running this year. I ran my first 5K and loved the rush of it. I feel like I found a little bliss I had been missing and I’m proud of myself for sticking to it long enough to learn to love it.

*Vacationing in Costa Rica with my family--I lost the pictures, but I'm glad to have the memory.

*Discovered Isagenix and feel like I got my emotion/mood issues under better control than I’ve had for awhile.

*Deseret Book accepted my first book in a new series—Lemon Tart. I can’t wait for it to come out and it’s been a whole new experience!

*Great blogs that inspire and advise me, good family and friends that make life worth living, and the gift the Gospel gives me in knowing that hard things don’t last forever and that every day is a new opportunity to do a little better than I did the day before. I am every grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves me and wants good things for me.

Four Hopes for 09 (things I don’t really have control over):

*A new house without a house payment
*The resolving of the business issues we’re facing
*Have two books published
*Have the economy turn around WITH the lessons we’ve learned remaining in tact.


Five Resolutions for 09 (things I do have control over):

*RSVP. I was a real loser on this but I commit to RSVPing in 09.
*Run a half marathon—I’m so excited and overwhelmed by this but I’m gunna do it!
*Find my abs again—they got lost somewhere and I’m determined to find out where they are hiding.
*A compliment a day for every member of my family—they are all great, so this shouldn’t be too hard but it doesn’t come naturally.

Let Me Define This For You . . .

So, a couple months ago I noticed a somewhat disturbing thing--the word verification when commenting on blogger-blogs were beginning to sound like real words! I know, weird huh?

I've been blogging for a few years now and I had grown accustomed to word verifications that weren't words at all--"words" like llprimee and rtrpphl. I must admit that I worry my ability to now decipher some of these words is sign of some kind of mental failing on my part--making sense of nonsensical things--but then I wonder if the opposite is true instead. PERHAPS this is a sign of increased brilliance on my part! If that's the case, then the rest of you need my help to decipher what these new words mean.

So, while in Las Vegas with my family (another post for another day) I wrote down the word verifications I had on several blogs I left comments for and I will not proceed to define these words for you.

Donity--Term used to describe the bathroom. (say the following with an English accent) "I'll have me another pint when I get back from the donity"

Abloatic--The feeling one feels on New Year's morning after spending six hours eating copulous amounts of junkfood rich in transfats. "Roll me out to the car, Ma, I'm too abloatic to walk there on my own today."

Frousi--A derogotory term used to refer to young Austrian women with questionable moral characters--combination of the words frauline and hussy. "Oh, that Marta is such a frousi."

Mendstom--Actual name of the boogie man, but not used very often due to the non-frightening nature of it. "

Comenti--Title given to blog commenters that never leave comments comprised of more than 3 words such as "Good one!" or "Ha, Ha" or "You go girl-fren."--"I guess I shouldn't feel so bad, every blog has a comenti or two."

Panslo--Code word used by mothers when they accidentally turn off the burner while cooking dinner--"Dinner will take a little longer, kids, the chicken was a little panslo."

Gurga--They kind of guy that likes to date a frousi. "Oh, looks like Marta found herself a Gurga."

Glycaliz--A condition often associated with to much blog reading. "Dad, mom's looking a little glycaliz--should we shut off the breaker again?"

So there you have it--now don't you feel smarter?

Last Day for Whitney Nominations

Today is the last day titles by LDS writer-written books can be nominated for The Whitney Award 2008. Criteria are limited to:

1--Author must be LDS (But the book can be published in the national or LDS market)
2--Book must be published in 2008
3--Book must be a book--as opposed to a creative dance choreography using palm fronds and silly string (sorry Rob)
4--Authors serving on the Whitney committee or as a judge are ineligible for nomination--this is why Her Good Name is not eligible this year, because I'm on the committee, however you can still send your shameless compliments my way whenever you like

There are hundreds of eligible books out there, many which have not yet received the 5 reader votes necessary for them to become a nominee. After today, the judges will be reading all the nominations in order to vote for the top 5 in each category that will then become The Whitney Award 2008 Finalists. This list will be published in February, to then be voted on by The Whitney Academy which is made up of publishers, authors, bookstore owners and other industry professionals. The winners will be announced at The Whitney Gala on April 25 at the Provo Marriott. Click HERE to buy tickets to the Gala.

That's it? Well, then Merry Christmas I guess

Hmmm, it must be Christmas:


One garbage bag full of environment destroying gift wrap, eight plates of half eaten neighbor gifts, one broken crock pot lid, one new guitar for guitar hero with a broken whammy bar (thanks eBay), an extra foot of snow, one husband with the flu, one kid crying because he doesn't want to share his Legos, two hours without power (You wanted to play the video games? You are so spoiled), an extra five (or twelve) pounds on my backside, and all I got was a freaking back up camera for my car--I guess Santa doesn't want me backing over anyone's bikes anymore--he has no sense of adventure.


At least my house is clean










Or not.


And my kids are happy--except for the one that went to his room crying--oh, and the one that realized the guitar was broken--oh, and the one with the Littlest pet shop toy that had a battery dated May 2007 so it doesn't work--oh, and the one that was not impressed with Mom's admittion that she forgot to buy the lil wayne CD--oh, and the one that got a bike even though he wanted a Wii--oh, and the one that got the cedar chest--oh, and the one that's mad cause I won't let her see "Yes, Man" until Dad and I approve it. Wait--that's eight. I only have four kids. How does that work?


At least my kitchen is clean too.










Cynicism aside, I love Christmas--though I probably prefer Chrismas Even to Christmas Day. We had a nice dinner and read the Christmas story. Some freinds stopped by, we had trifle, and the kids were in bed by nine. Today, we're all just chillin--I've written almost 1000 words on my current book--a very Merry Christmas for me--and we have enough left overs that I won't have to cook for a couple days and I've got a good 11 months before I have to do all this again :-)

Happy Holidays

LDStorymakers Conference Registration Now Open!

The 2009 LDStorymakers writer's conference, to be held at the Provo Marriot on April 24 & 25 is officially open for registration. Registration is online this year and in addition to the conference, you can choose options such as one on one meetings with editors, boot camp, and The Whitney Award Gala. For more information go here

http://ldstorymakers.com/conference.html


Past conferences have been an astounding success and have recieved high praise from both attendees and the visiting agents and editors. Regardless of what market you want to publish in, the LDStorymakers Writer's Conference will be an asset to both your writing skill, publishing industry knowledge, and network of other writers, both published and on the path toward publication.

I hope to see you there!

I got Awarded!

Last week, Don, at fifteenminutesofdelusion.blogspot.com nominated me for the Real Life Blog award. I was very flattered--you can see from my sidebar that I don't get many blog awards. I'm not sure why that is, but assume it must be because people that award awards don't like me--could it be possible? Or maybe they don't think I care. Or maybe I smell funny. But, regardless of why THEY don't give me awards, Don did and that made me very happy!


Don commented on why they called it the Marie Antoinette Award and subtitled it with Real Blogs, Real People. I'm certainly no scholar, but I have a particular fascination with Marie Antoinette. She was basically sold as a child bride to a cold man who wanted nothing to do with her. She'd been ripped from her family, country, and life she'd known all her life and I believe she made up for this by enjoying the privilege she was afforded as Queen of France. Living this way, and being so young, created in her a definitive lack of understanding in regard to what most of France was dealing with at that time. She lived beyond opulence and luxury at a time when the people of France were starving to death. When told of the poverty taking over Paris she responded "Let them eat cake". I believe that rather than this being a dismissive comment, she was saying in the sense of "I'll give them some cake, then they'll feel better" she simply did not understand that cake today would not mean they would have bread tomorrow--she was a woman who had always had the THINGS she wanted and yet I don't believe she was ever truly filled by any of it, much like we are never filled by the things in our lives--it's the people, the relationships, and the time spent enjoying both that fill us. When reality finally made itself undeniable, she lost her life for the opulence she was in a sense forced to live within. Much like the starving people of France, she never had a choice in the life she lived either and she did not understand that other people were really suffering. In that way I think she's as much a victim as they were--definitely when her head dropped into the basket of straw on the wrong side of the guillotine.

Therefore, my theory on why Marie Antoinette is the poster child for this blog award is because it symbolizes that not facing reality, in the end, does us no favors. Whether that reality is what our weaknesses are, what are commitments are, who we fall in love with, or who we judge to harshly--living in reality is a good thing and we deserve to be honest about that to both ourselves and the world at large.

That said, I feel a bit hypocritical in regard to receiving this for my own blog. While I am thrilled to be seen as real, and I am honest in my posts, there are many, many, things in my life I do not blog about. You've heard very little about my children, my family, my husband's family, my ward, neighborhood or children's schools. That's not to say I haven't written up posts on these topics, but I delete them before they go out to the world because although it is my reality, and many things occupy a great deal of space in my brain, I am conscious of the relationships I am in and I worry about hurting people that, despite driving me batty at times, I love or respect or just don't want to hurt. THAT SAID (Yes, I realize I'm being redundant and rather circular) I think we can be 'real' without being all-telling. I believe that it's not dishonest for me not (yes, that was a triple negative) to rant against the woman at church that makes me want to plug my ears and sing la-la-la-la-la all through relief society. I believe that it's not dishonest for me to keep my increasingly fractured and frustrating relationship with a particular family member to myself. It's not fair for these people to have me make a public display of them, hence I don't. Instead, I try to keep my blogs within my own sphere, where they aren't going to cause someone else heartburn. Unless of course I want them to have heartburn--but I don't think I've found that situation I'm willing to flog someone about.

And so because of all that loopy explanation, I was thrilled to get this award, to have someone say that despite the things I leave out, I've managed to be real. That, for me, is a compliment.

And now I get to compliment some other folks for doing the same thing:

Carole Thayne at Musings in Paradise. Carole is a very good friend of mine and has helped me feel at peace with some of my personal and political feelings that are not as mainstream as many people around me. She is someone I truly think I could talk to about anything without fear that she was judging me for it. I appreciate that very much in my life and feel that she has helped me with a great deal of self awareness. And I love her blog because she's very honest about herself and her beliefs, I admire that.

Kristi at Kunz Family. Kristi is an inspiring woman to me, she lives amid some trials that I know would overwhelm me, and she neither lifts herself up on a pedestal for it or feels she's being picked on. I love reading about all the things going on in her family, because I know that there are extra layers of difficulty for those things, yet she does it all with such an optimistic attitude. She inspires me to see beyond the hardships and not just pretend it's okay, but to truly make the best of it.

Julie at Scattered Jules is one of my favorite people in the whole world. She's the person I call when life crashes around me and she always--and I mean always--picks me back up and hugs me back into reality. Her heart is among the biggest and funnest hearts God ever made and I cherish her friendship as one of the gifts God has given me. On her blog she rants, and compliments, and laughs and just puts it all out there.

Stephanie at Write Bravely. I really enjoy Stephanie's blog because she also blogs about real, every day life, but the more I read, the more depth I find. I assumed for the first few months that she had lived a very typical, traditional life. Then I discovered a twist, and then another one, and then another one. It's intriguing to me that she does not simply put it all out there at one time, rather it's all just part of the life she lives. She also has an inherent goodness that reminds me that being good is strong--I need those kinds of reminders in my life and her posts always do that for me.

So there you have it, my pontifications of no substance, and my referrals to those blogs that have that very substance I enjoy so much. Thanks again Don

Why the Move

So, word has gotten out in our ward that we've listed the house--if we'd in fact wanted to keep it a secret we should have a) not told the kids b) stopped being Mormon and c) not blogged about it. Seeing as how we didn't do any of those things, everyone knows. And everyone asks the same thing, Why?

It sounds like a simple question, which means it ought to have a simple answer. Most people can answer that somewhat simple--we got a new job, we want to build, we want to be closer to family. We don't have that kind of simple answer, but here is my attempt at trying to sum it all up and dispel the myths.

Myth 1--We want a bigger house.

Nope. My house is plenty big, and we're on five acres of land, and we love it. I don't mean we like it, it works, and we're happy here, I mean we LOVE it. The floorplan is perfect, the yard is great, and we've worked hard for ten years to make it perfect--with every amenity we have ever wanted--except for the lousy basement carpet. We have molded this home into exactly what we could ever want. It is our dream house--it really is.

Myth 2--If you aren't going for bigger and better, then you must not be able to afford it anymore.

Hmmmm. Yes and no. We CAN afford it and don't forsee that we will hit a point where we can't afford it in the near future. My husband makes a good living and we only owe a little over half it's worth, so the payment isn't horrible. BUT my husband is involved in real estate investing and an economy based buisness--both of which have been hit hard of late. We don't get paychecks, we don't have a 401K, we don't get sick days or group plan insurance. We do pay a lot of money in taxes (and will likely be paying more once our new president takes over), we do tend to get lump sum payments a couple times a year that we have to stretch out, and our health insurance is through the roof. We are our own job security, which is great except when you wish someone else was in charge of some of these aspects. It's not that we can't pay the mortgage as much as it is we're not sure we want to pay it.

Myth 3--If you don't want bigger and better and you can afford the house you have, you must be sick in the head.

Possibly. I'd be the last person to deny insanity and I admit that I really do fear that if we sell we'll regret it, always wishing we'd stayed. And yet, we just have a . . . feeling. I don't know what the feeling is. Maybe it's just us finally understanding what it means to live below our means and us wanting to adjust our lifestyle to fit that better. Maybe it's a forshadowing of our future income situation, maybe we're just bored and need a new challenge. Maybe it's a test to see if we'll act on a feeling we both have--a little like the Abraham Isac thing but without the deadly weapons involved. Perhaps it won't sell, we'll live happily ever after right here and this is all just a phase we're going through. I don't know. What I do know is that last summer when the yard work was making us both cranky, I suggested selling and my husband shut it down without a discussion--something he doesn't do very often because he usually wins the discussions. But he wouldn't even consider it. A month ago he's the one that brought it up. We discussed and discussed and discussed and then called a realator. Which, ironically is exactly the way it happened last time we moved. We weren't considering a move despite owning a buisness an hour from our home. We talked about staying there forever and running the buisness with the help of an on-site manager and Lee making the drive once a week. We were very happy there. Then one day Lee said maybe we ought to move. Within two weeks we'd listed the house. Two months later it had sold and we were on our way to Willard.

This kinda feels like that did and we've had two walk throughs this week that both really liked it and are taking a few days to think about it. That's promising.

However, we keep reminding ourselves that it's a horrible time to sell, and yet it's a great time to buy. We want to stay in Willard and have dozens of homes to choose from. We've looked at several via the internet and have one we're quite interested in and have walked through, but we're not taking any action until/unless our house sells, then we'll panic :-)

I'm not expecting to sell right away and I'm not packing boxes, but as I go through my days I'm taking note of what I'd take, what I'd throw out, and what I'd sell in a moving sale. I'm surprised how much of the space in this house is taken up with things I don't use, don't need, or don't even want--but I have room to store it so I do. That seems a little bonkers, doesn't it?

And I'm still not convinced the 'feeling' had nothing to do with selling and everything to do with my keeping my house clean--it looks so good! And every day the kids and I get it back into top shape so that if someone wants to walk through it, I'm ready. It's been nice to have a super clean house--it's been years since I've been this vigilant and rather than taking away from my writing time, after a few days spent just cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, I have less to do than I used to and I feel more at peace when I sit down to write because I don't have a dozen household chores calling at me. That's been nice.

Anyway, this is my attempt at a simple answer. We'll see where we go from here.

Feeding a crowd with roaster ovens

I was in charge of the food for last weeks' RS dinner, and spent a ton of time googling all over the web to find instructions on how to make the meal work. I didn't want the typical pot luck or ham dinner, but creativity can be a butt-kicker since most meals for a crowd on the Internet use commercial kitchens and cooking equipment meant for mass production. It worked out reasonably well and so in the spirit of paying it back I decided to post what I did here so that the next time someone was also goggling the how to, they might find this blog and get some answers, or at least idea starters for their own meal. All the cooked items were done in 18 quart roaster ovens--which is something I was able to beg and borrow from enough neighbors to make it work.

Salad:
Mock olive garden salad dressing x 4
15 heads of iceberg lettuce
1 #10 can of olives
4 standard size boxes of croutons
15 sliced tomatoes; slices cut in half

Mock Olive Garden Salad Dressing (I think I found this at Recipe Czar a year or so ago)

1/2 cup white wine vinegar
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup vegetable oil (I used Canola)
1/4 cup corn syrup
2 1/2 T. grated Romano cheese (I used an Italian hard cheese blend)
2 T. dry pectin
2 T. egg Beaters
1 1/4 tsp. Salt
1 tsp. Lemon Juice
1/2 tsp. Garlic
1/4 tsp. Parsley (I used dried)
pinch of Oregano
pinch of red pepper flakes.

Combine everything in a blender, mix on low speed for 30 seconds. Chill 1 hour.

**For this dinner I made the dressing a couple days before and stored in the fridge. A couple hours before the dinner I cored and rinsed the heads of lettuce and put them, cored side down, in big bowls of ice water to keep the lettuce cold and crispy. We then broke them into LARGE bowls, added dressing and tossed well. We put on a plate with 4 olives (we could have done up to 6), 5 croutons (just the right number), and one slice of tomato, sliced in half.

**WHAT I WISH I'D DONE: is drained the lettuce after breaking it into the bowls. The tight leaves held on to a lot of water which made the salad a little wet. Simply putting it in a colander and letting it drain for a couple minutes would have made a difference. I also wish I'd bought more tomatoes because I love them and we had to go kinda skimpy. I have to say I did not get many specific compliments on the salad. Not sure why since people are more kind than honest and I didn't get much specific feedback on it. But, it's just the salad, most people don't think about complimenting it anyway. I myself didn't get any as we ran out so I can't gauge it.

Main Dish:

Crock Pot Chicken Cordon Bleu x 10

Crock Pot Chicken Cordon Bleu (From my wonderful Friend Erin Klingler)

10 chicken tenders
20 slices of deli style ham (can use lunch meat type)
10 slices Swiss cheese (can use another type of white cheese)
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 cup sour cream
1/2 soup can of milk
1/2 tsp. dry mustard powder (can use prepared mustard in a pinch)

Make sauce by combining soup, sour cream, milk, and mustard powder. Mix well and set aside.

Lay ham out on counter so that two slices overlap one another, you should have 10 2-slice portions. Place a slice of swish cheese in the center of each ham portion. Roll chicken tender in ham and cheese, place seam side down in the bottom of a crock pot. Cover with sauce. Cook 4 hours on high or 8 hours on low--do not stir. Serve over rice or noodles.


**A couple ladies in the ward met me at the church around noon and we did a mass production of the recipe. They laid out ham and cheese and I made sauce. We covered each layer with the sauce before adding the second layer and fit 50 chicken rolls in each roaster oven--2 layers. We then cooked it at 300 for about 5 hours. I had bought 7 bags of chicken tenders at Costco, and only used four. The serving size was listed at 4 oz., but a chicken tender is only about 2 oz. The cooking time was just right and the chicken turned out very well. I was able to turn it down to 200 for the last hour and a half because the chicken was fully cooked.

**WHAT I WISH I'D DONE: I miscalculated the ham and only ended up with one slice per chicken roll. This did not stay wrapped around the chicken as well, but it was still yummy. I also worried I wouldn't have enough soup and sour cream so I thinned out the sauce a little while making it. This was not good as the sauce was runnier than it should have been. It was still okay, and no one knew what it was SUPPOSED to be like, but I wish I hadn't cheaped out and had a thicker sauce. Ironically, I had both soup and sour cream left over. I got lots of rave reviews for the chicken and will definitely do it again should I get asked to do this again.

Rice

7 3.2 lb. containers of Organic Harvest Medley Wild Rice mix from Costco
2 containers of Chicken Stock from Costco.

I followed the water ratio on the back of the package to mix up the rice and can't remember how much I put in each roaster, but it was close to 18 cups of rice and 36 cups of water per roaster, adding 1/2 the chicken stock to the water of each of 2 roaster ovens. I then cooked it at varying temperatures for just over 2 hours. We served about 3/4 of a cup of this on the plate next to the chicken. We had nearly 1/2 a roaster oven worth of rice left over--this was the only item we had excess of.

WHAT I WISH I"D DONE: This was the most frustrating portion of the dinner and caused me a great deal of stress--the result was somewhat blah. I had worried that the chicken stock would be too strong so I ended up only using 1/2 a container per roaster instead of of a full one and the rice was bland. I should have used the whole thing of stock and then tasted it to see if it needed more salt. Also, I needed another hour for the rice. It turned out okay, but was a little too chewy and BARELY finished in time. 30 minutes before the dinner it was still swimming in the water and I had to turn the roasters up as high as they would go. I really should have experimented with this at home first. People said it was good and they took a lot of the left overs, but I was not pleased with it. Another option I had read about online was to make the rice ahead of time, store it in the freezer and then simply heat up. This would have been a pretty good idea. I could have frozen it in the roaster oven insert covered with foil quite easily and played with it more during the cooking process to get it just right, then heated it up over a few hours on low, fluffing the rice as I went. Being as I was frantically working on several aspects of dinner meant that I did not give it the attention I think would have benefited it greatly.

Vegetables

4 bags frozen California Blend Veggies from Sam's Club (broccoli, cauliflower, carrots)
1 bag frozen green beans
Rosemary Veggie Marinade x 5

Rosemary Veggie Marinade (From my good Friend Anne)

1/3 cup olive oil
3 TBSP lemon juice
3 cloves garlic
1 tsp. rosemary
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper

Mix 6 ingredients well, drizzle over veggies (fresh or frozen) and bake at 450 for 30 minutes.

*I made the marinade the morning of the dinner. That night, we combined 2 bags of California blend and 1/2 bag of green beans in 2 roaster ovens, and drizzled 1/2 the total marinade over each pan, tossing to coat the veggies as well as we could. Then we set the roasters to 400 and let them cook for an hour and a half. They turned out fragrant and yummy and were a nice change to the typical canned green beans that are often used at these types of dinners.

WHAT I WISH I'D DONE: I should have started the veggies at least an hour earlier. That much frozen food takes a while to heat up and toward the end I was worried and had to turn up the heat which scorched some of the veggies. I also would have made three more portions of the marinade so the flavor would have been stronger AND added another bag of California blend. We had EXACTLY enough, which is stress inducing when you get to the bottom of that final pan.

Rolls

We ordered 10 dozen rolls from Idle Isle Cafe, a local restaurant famous for their yummy rolls.

The total price for this dinner was about $350, and we fed about 115 people.

Overall, the meal was good and different. I should have given myself more time on the rice and the veggies, and I should have tried out everything at home before making it for such a large group. However, on a scale of one to ten I think I would give myself a pretty solid 6.75. It could have been better, but it could have been worse.

Proof I'm a Terrible Person.

Our house is officially listed (click HERE if you know someone intersted in horse property and a custom home in Northern Utah to see the listing)and we had our first walk through last weekend. The feedback we got was that they hated the basement carpet (I don't blame them, so do I) and that they smelled the cats.

I was truly shocked, and embarrassed, by this. My husband, however, was vindicated. He's been telling me for years that I've lost my ability to really smell them and at least twice a week he goes down stairs and says he can smell them. I've truly felt he was being over reactive and since I know he's never wanted the cats in the house, I haven't given his opinion much weight.

I stated a couple weeks ago that I'm tired of the cats, that the kids aren't taking care of them and I've hit my limit. One had peed in my room in the middle of the night, the other one has shredded the carpet on the stair landing. I vowed that I was done doing anything other than buying cat food, that if the kids wanted cats, they would have to step up. Since then the kids have been trying to do better--but they pretty much suck at it. They'll feed the cats without complaint, but the litter box is ignored until mom throws the cats out and says they can't come in until the litter box is changed. Before the walk through we cleaned like crazy, I cleaned all around the litter box, we put it outside, we sprayed air neutralizer and yet it STILL smelled like cats.

Husband and I decided the cats were outside from now on but the kids simply could not keep from letting the cats in. The cats would go into their window wells and meow until the kids broke. They still aren't emptying the litter box.

We want to sell the house and we can't have it smelling like cats.

We discussed options but decided, in the end, to take them to the shelter. One cat is a Siamese fixed, declawed female that is a really pretty and really good cat. We feel like she'll be easily adopted. The other is a fixed male. I worry about him, but he's pretty too. We decided we had to do what was ultimatly in the best interest of our family--and it's in our best interest to sell this house and to do that it needs to be in top shape.

It all made sense until I went to gather them up this morning. By the time Lee drove off I was a mess. He didn't know what do to make me feel better about it, and I don't know either. I beleive this is the best solution, but I feel like I've just given away part of my children's childhood. Lots of people have cats and manage to take care of them. Why is it so hard for us to do it? We sold our puppy two months ago because we were over our heads trying to train her and take care of her properly. We kept Tex, but we're struggling with that too. The kids are put out to have to feed him and play with him every day, we can't let him in the house because he's not house trained and he likes to get skunks mad at him. It seems like a miserable existance for the poor thing--so do we get rid of him too? Are we just total snobs?

To make it worse, the kids have no idea we were planning this. It seemed like the best way when we came up with it, but now I'm not so sure. They're going to ask, and since Lee's going out of town I get to deal with it by myself again--like I did with the puppy. I feel like I've failed them--the kids and the pets.

So please, I beg of you, if I ever talk about getting another animal (other than chickens) please tell me to come back and read this post. I'm not cut out to properly care for them and then it breaks my heart when I finally act on that truth.

It might be a very long day today.

Elder Wirthlin Passes Away

Elder Joseph Wirthlin of the Quorum of the 12 apostles passed away this morning at the age of 91. Like many other members of the LDS church, Wirthlin is a voice that has followed me throughout my life. I love conference, and I've loved his remarks. His grandaughter married my cousin and I was privileged to shake his hand at thier wedding reception. He was a very kind, intelligent, and obviously service-oriented man, a cousin to Gordon B. Hinckley and a father of eight children. He will be greatly missed. His wife died about two years ago, and I can only imagine the joy he is feeling at that reuinion. Men such as himself, and woman, that give so much for so long are truly inspiring.

You can read more about this at

http://www.sltrib.com/News/ci_11119183

Parable of the Cedar Chest

I don't actually know if this qualifies as a parable, but I like the idea of writing my own so I'm going to go with it. Also, I've decided to name my children for the blog--#2 was slightly offended at her nickname here so I've dug deep and gotten creative.

Jeanie--14 year old girl
Lou-Lou--12 year old girl (who will probably hate this name too)
Little man--9 year old boy
KB--7 year old girl

On with the story . . .

As a teenager I wanted a cedar chest. I had a few friends that had them and I thought they were so cool. Being one of 9 kids meant I didn't have much privacy and I was always scouting out little places I could keep things safe. At 14 I got a trunk for Christmas. It's plywood, with sheet metal overlay and fasteners. It was not a cedar chest, but I loved it and covered it with bumper stickers (including the one that says "Olympus Soccer: We Kick Balls" I was a classy kid, what can I say?) It had a key and it was my own little space. Over the years I stored journals, letters from my hubby, and other mementos. When I got married, it was one of two items that came with me (the other was a rocking horse my uncle made for me as a child--I still have that one too). I added my wedding veil, the cards that came with my wedding gifts, and some baseball cards I hoped to one day make a million dollars off of. I loved my trunk and only the most valuable things went into it.

For my 4th wedding anniversary my husband bought me a real cedar chest. The old trunk went into the closet and the new chest became a treasured piece of furniture, quickly doing it's job of preserving the most important things I wanted to hold on to. It was oak--which I didn't love--and so I refinished it in black a year or so ago, sanding the edges to give it an antiqued look.

Last year, I gave Jeanie a cedar chest for Christmas. We bought it used (new ones are several hundred dollars) and we refinished it after the holidays. For me, this was a powerful gift to give. Jeanie will be eighteen in only 4 years which seems like an incredibly short period of time. I wanted to give her this option of saving some of her youth while also preparing for her future which was coming up quickly. She was very positive about it and I just felt like I'd done a very good thing--giving a gift that will last a lifetime.

Last month, we bought a cedar chest at a charity auction. I sanded it down and was getting ready to paint it for Lou-Lou--excited to once again give a gift that, in my mind, is almost priceless. However, Lou-Lou found my Christmas list and read it--pronouncing bluntly that she didn't want a stupid cedar chest. She wants nail stuff, and CD's, not furniture. I was very annoyed at this--not only because I'd already invested in this gift but because it's a GIFT. That means I choose it, not her. I felt she was being very bratty about it, and yes, my feelings were hurt.

Amid all this I remembered the new knobs I'd bought for Jeanie's cedar chest last year and had never put on. So, I went and put them on only to find that after owning the chest for a year, she had put absolutely nothing inside it.

Then my husband said he thought we ought to sell the cedar chest and get Lou-Lou something she really wants.

Argggg! I was getting it from all sides and reviewed my options. In a rare moment of wisdom, I chose a route I don't often use. I decided to try to teach something, rather than pout.

Tonight, I invited Jeanie and Lou-Lou into my room. I told them how I'd wanted a cedar chest as a child and why it was improtant to them. I told them about my trunk, and then I opened my cedar chest and showed them the things I keep inside. Signed copies of my books that I will one day give to my children, copies of my books I sign to myself when they arrive. A newspaper from the olympics, the blessing dresses of my children that I will give them when they have kids of thier own, recipe books I've collected for my daughters, a pillow with a copy of my engagement picture on it, an extra wedding album in case something happens to the one I have, a time capsul Jeanie made in Kindergarten, a box full of mother's day cards and little notes the kids have given me over the years, the blown glass flower that topped my wedding cake, a blanket my freind quilted when Little Man was born. After we went through all these things I explained to them that even if I lost it all, I'd have the memories of these moments and they are the most powerful thing, but, I love having these tangible reminders. I love to touch the letters they've given me, I love knowing there is a safe place for my treasures. I explained that my giving them cedar chests is so that they can also find those treasures and save them for their futures. I then said that I realized it might be an old fashioned thing, that if they don't want the cedar chests we can sell them, they can keep the money and spend it on something else, but that I believed that the chests were something that twenty years from now, when iPods and CDs were a thing of the distant past, they would remember that their mother gave them a cedar chest. That one day they might pass them on to their children, and that when they left our home, they would take this little peice of it with them.

Lou-Lou promptly reported she wanted her cedar chest. Jeanie asked if she could have her signed books to put in her own. And me, well, I'm a little tender hearted at having forgone my usual bullying style of parenting and having this moment with my girls who are so precious to me, and are growing faster then I can keep up. Now and then I do a really good thing--creating these two wonderful daughters were two of my very best.

What have I done

This was a fun meme I found on My days and dreams. I can't think of anything else to say today and I'm working really hard at avoiding my current work in progress, so this fit the bill! Feel free to copy it and use it if you like. You highlight those things you've done.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37.Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77.Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Let me know if you use it so I can come take a look.