Worldwide Ward Cookbook

Several months ago I received an e-mail from an author I had met a time or two, Deanna Buxton, in regard to a new project she was working on. Deanna's previous books have been cookbooks--but with a twist. Instead of your run of mill cookbooks, Deanna's were focused on the concept of freezing meals that could be reheated and served on those days when you just did not have time to cook (which, let's face it, can easily be every day of the week). Her first book, Dinner is Ready, was an inspiration to me. You spend one day cooking, cooking, cooking, and then you freeze it all. She offers complete step by step instructions on how to organize your kitchen and time, then tells you how to convert family favorites to freezable meals--THEN had a whole bunch of tried and tested freezer recipes. I loved it and though I've admittedly fallen off the wagon, I do pick myself up once or twice a year and stock my freezer. It's a really brilliant concept. She's then followed up Dinner is Ready with Lunch is ready and Brunch is Ready, books that follow the same concept but address the specifics of those meals. NOW she also has software to accompany all the books so that you can adjust portions and create shopping lists on your computer.

Soooooo, she e-mailed Me year or so ago, and many other people, asking for recipes--specifically international type recipes. She wanted to put together a ward cookbook, but from people all over the world. For my part, I have never lived anywhere but Utah (carrot-raisin salad anyone?)--however my husband served his mission in the Philippines and I spent many years looking for the perfect Chicken Adobo recipe--not Mexican Adobo, Filipino adobo. We'd found a Filipino restaurant at one time, where I'd tried chicken adobo and liked it, but then the restaurant went out of business (boo hoo) and so I took up the gauntlet and was very happy when I found what we both felt was a pert-near perfect recipe. I submitted it, they accepted it, and now the BOOK IS OUT! I got my complimentary copy yesterday and have the next two weeks of recipes planned out. I am so dang excited to try things like Baked Shrimp and Brunch Rolls.

My contribution to the Worldwide Ward Cookbook is on page 71--so if you are a cook book lover, especially the ward and community type cook books that have everyone's favorites, this is quite likely something you will drool over. Click on the links to be taken to websites where you can order it online, or look for it at your local LDS book retailer.

AND Deanna's now accepting recipes for a Worldwide Ward Christmas cookbook, to submit your favorite recipe and story about how it enhances your Christmas traditions, go HERE.

Leggo my Veggie Burger

I remember the first time I heard the term "Veggie Burger". It was at a friend's house when I was about 11. Her parents were having a BBQ and in addition to the sizzling burgers was this light brown thing that looked like a combination between cardboard and dog food. I asked what it was and she said her cousin was a vegetarian and the weird thing on the grill was a Veggie burger.

A what?

"Basically it's a bunch of veggies and tofu all mushed together."

Um, can you say GROSS!

The GROSS label lasted until last summer, when I was at yet another BBQ. Some more vegetarians were there and they happened to have an extra veggie burger on the grill. I'm the kind of person that finds other people's quirks quite fascinating, and I love to ask about their jobs, the families they come from, how they met their husbands, what brand of toilet paper they like best--you know, the typical get-to-know-you-too-well kind of things. I love talking to vegetarians. It's fascinating to me that people can give up something like that by choice. There is no religious component (at least to those I have talked to) and most of them love the taste of meat--but they have a variety of reasons for not eating it. Most of them have issues in regard to the treatment of animals we later consume on pot-roast-Sunday, some of them have issues with the hormones used on meat production, and some have purely health related concerns which have taken this shift. As a person that can't go a day without serious sugar consumption and imagines a life without sugar to be paramount to going blind, it's amazing to me to see such dedication.

Anyway, so I started grilling (punny!) these vegetarian cousins of mine and they offered me a veggie burger, which I accepted. I then loaded it with so much ketchup and mustard that it was dripping all over the place. I didn't tell them, but I'm sure they guessed, that I expected cardboard. I was very wrong. In fact, it was delicious. The texture was just like hamburger, but there was no grease. It didn't taste at all like pureed green peppers or brown rice.

The next week I bought some veggie burgers at the grocery store and read up on the nutrition information. They are loaded with protein and fiber thanks to soy and veggies, they are low in calories and the fat content is almost non-existent. I grilled them up for my family--only one refuses to eat them, and I'm not surprised, she refuses most of my great ideas.

It's been abut 7 months since that first-time-veggie-burger-experience and since then I have consumed many a veggie burger and I have eaten exactly two actual hamburgers (I will never lose my love for Article Circle's cheapo hamburgers drenched in fry sauce, sigh) I've ordered veggie burgers at a variety of restaurants and am quite thrilled to have found that Burger King has had veggie burgers on the menu for quite some time. So has Chili's. I have a handy-dandy George Foreman grill which makes the cooking of a veggie burger about a 3 minute process. I defrost in the microwave for about 1 minute while the grill heats, then while the veggie burger cooks (heats through, really, since it's already cooked) I slice my tomatoes, tear off my lettuce, mayo and ketchup my whole wheat bun (or regular bread if I have no buns) and Voila, I have a high-protein, low-fat, very filling lunch or dinner.

So, if like me you had suspicions in regard to the whole veggie burger thing--rest assured that it's not so scary--in fact it's quite good. My favorite is the Boca Cheeseburger, but every other one I've had is also good. Happy snarfing.

My Valentine Meme

I saw this meme on Annette Lyon's blog and thought it was just perfect for Valentines day, so I stole it. We'll be celebrating 16 years in April--I can't believe it and yet having been here for each day of it, it's gone so fast.

1. Where did you and your husband meet? Weight Training class at Olympus High School. I was a Sophomore and he was a Senior. We were also in the same ward but between his work schedule and my rebellious streak and the fact that he was two years older, we didn't know each other beyond recognizing one another from church.

2. How long before you kissed? Um, about a month BEFORE we started dating. We'd been flirting for awhile and then one day in class I just leaned in and kissed him. He was not impressed, and I've been razed about my racy behavior ever since.

3. Who kissed who first? See #2

4. How long from the time you met until you were engaged? Two and a half years. After six months of dating he went on a mission. Within 12 hours of him coming home we were talking marriage, and we were engaged a month or so after that.

5. How did he propose? We went to a Japanese restaurant in downtown Salt Lake and had a private tatami room. He did all the sweet talk but explained he couldn't afford a ring yet, so he gave me one made of tinfoil and promised to replace it, but wondered if I would marry him anyway. I said yes, of course, and then a minute later the waitress brought our food, with a velvet box right there next to the Miso. Weird thing, we've never been back to that restaurant even though we love Japanese--I guess we just don't like down town Salt Lake.

6. Did he pick out the ring or did you? He did, then we went back and had some chips put on the side. It's simple, but perfect.

7. Do you still like the ring? the only thing I didn't like about it was that it was gold. I'm a silver girl but we couldn't afford a non-gold setting. A couple years ago I had it redone in white gold, but it's the exact same style as it was before.

8. Where was your wedding and reception? Married in the Salt Lake Temple, reception at our ward house--orange carpeted basketball court and all.

9. How many bridesmaids did you have, and who was your maid of honor? No bridesmaids or maid of honor. We were given $2500 by our parents for the wedding expenses, anything left over we could spend however we wanted to. I cut every corner possible and we left on our honeymoon with $1100 in our pockets--sweet.

10. What color were your bridesmaid dresses? See #9

11. What was your bouquet made of? Red roses--the $25 special at The Flower Patch

12. Who gave you away? Not applicable for a temple wedding.

13. Did you cry during your wedding? Nope, I was ear to ear grins.

14. What style was your dress? I rented my dress from a lady in Pleasant Grove for $50. It was a shiny fabric with a full skirt and lacy detail. She let me keep it for 2 full weeks. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I was a size 3 when I got married and had a baby a year later--I'd have never fit into that dress again and I'd have never worn it again anyway. I know I'm an odd duck, but I honestly have never understood buying a wedding dress--I mean the guys don't by the tuxes, and wanna know why? Cause they know they will never wear it again, why spent all that $$ when it's a one day event? It simply does not make sense to me to spend soooo much money on a dress you will wear one time and then pay $75 to put in a sealed box--but I respect the fact that I'm the definite minority in this respect.

15. Was your wedding kiss sweet or sexy? It was in the temple, so it was sweet, but lingering sweet.

16. Who caught your bouquet? Nobody. I didn't throw it--are you kidding me? I spent $25 on that thing. I still have it in my trunk.

17. What flavor was your cake? Devil's food cake, with white frosting and black roses--my colors were red, white, and black. My YW president made it for me, and probably swore a couple times. I knew exactly what I wanted, but it was a hard thing to execute. Black icing is hard to make, and white frosting on a chocolate cake is a pain.

18. Did you smash the cake onto each other's faces or feed it to each other nicely? Totally smashed. It was up my nose, in my hair, all over his tux. But, see, it was a rented dress and a rented tux, so big deal :-) Fun memory.

19. What was "your song" that you danced to at your wedding? No dancing. But we always joke that our son is Turbo Lover by Judas Priest.

20. What did you serve your guests to eat? My aunts got together and made a buffet. I don't even know what was served other than my Aunt Sandy's chocolate chip cookies. I think there was punch and ham sandwich things. I didn't eat any of it, obviously.

21. What did your friends do to decorate your car? they use colored Elmer's glue--which was kind a nice cause it peeled right off. And they filled the car with balloons that took a few weeks to slowly fall out here and there--I left balloons all over Salt Lake (I know, bad for the environment and lazy as hell.)

22. What was your favorite wedding gift? I have two of them--one was the $500 check we got from my mom's great aunt. That was awesome. The other was a framed and matted version of our wedding invitation. It's one of the few gifts I still have and I love it. I've done the same type of gift for other weddings and get great reviews on it. It's something I'd have never thought of doing myself, so I'm glad someone else thought of it.

23. What was the worst wedding gift you got? Dress Pant hangers. But we did use them once we figured out what they were for.

24. Where did you go on your honeymoon? To a bed and breakfast in Midway. We went shopping at the outlet stores and just spent two days . . . together. It was awesome.

25. Looking back, is there anything you would have changed about your wedding? I would have worn less eye makeup, had my hair done professionally, and hired a professional photographer. In our goal to make some money off this little union of ours, we went with a friend of my dad who really just wasn't very good. We did get all the negatives, which was nice, and the price was great ($400 for bridals, engagement, and outside the Temple) but it would have been worth getting someone really good since pictures are the one thing that lasts. I also probably wouldn't have done a reception at all, but instead done a nice wedding breakfast for the 70 people that really cared about me--leave out my parent's old neighbors and the guy in the ward that I can't remember his name and the people my dad works with. I'd have sent announcements to all those people, but kept the wedding celebration for just those people that really knew me or Lee.

Almost sixteen years later, we're still going strong. Marrying Lee was the best decision of my entire life, and every good thing since then can be tied back to him and all the goodness he's brought into my life. I'm grateful that he was blinded to my many flaws enough to stick around.

Coraline via The Kilpacks

Dear Movie Maker (##research this),

Last Friday my husband took our two children, ages 10 & 7, to the movie Coraline. Yes, we knew it was not a Disney movie. We also knew it was directed by Henry Selick, the same guy that did The Nightmare Before Christmas and James and the Giant Peach (##didn't he also do Corpse Bride?) (both movies that we quite enjoy). We expected dark, we expected edgy. What I didn't expect was for my kids to come home and report on the "Dancing naked fat women". After a few more questions, and a discussion with my husband, I understood that there is a rather long scene (about 2 mintues) comprised of fat circus women dancing and bouncing around. They are wearing bikinis, mostly covered by thier folds of fat, except for the one that likely coudn't find a top in her size and therefore had pasties on instead. At several points in the dance, the pasty woman has to hold up her enormous breasts, likely to keep from hitting herself in the face as she preforms. Occupational hazard, I suppose, and one more reason she ought to have worn proper CLOTHING. My husband, along with most of the theatre watched this in complete silence, punctuated with disgusted groans and looks toward the door wondering if they should leave. For what it's worth, the fourteen year old boys in front of them thought it was hilarious. My daughter covered her eyes.

The movie is PG, but it is also a cartoon and slated as a children's movie. It pushed the envelope plenty with a surly main character and detached parents, adequently making the point that families are horrible and parents don't love their children. Got it, and thanks so much for spending millions to share such lovely sentiments with my children. But I draw the line at bouncing fat women. We watch Biggest Loser, and we've been the the beach, we know what reality is, but it didn't work for the movie and it was not necessary. As a writer I understand the difference between plot and gratuitous scenes--the bouncing breasts we certainly gratuitous, and not well recieved.

And, the kids didn't understand most of the movie, which again makes me wonder why it was a children's film at all. I'm sure there is a target audience for this film, but it isn't us. We will not be purchasing the DVD to add to our Selick collection and we will not be recommending it to freinds. If Selick wishes to push the envelope to this extent, he can do it without our financial contribution. (## send this to the MPAA as well)

Sincerely,

Josi S. Kilpack

(this is my first draft, I fully intend to revise it before I send it out but I wanted all y'all to get the full picture before I talk nice)

Whitney Award Finalists 2008

Wohoooo! The finalists for the 2008 Whitney Awards have been announced. I've served on the Whitney Award committee this year and boy-oh-boy, what a process. I thought I had a good sense of what went into pulling it off last year, but I had no idea. Rob Wells, the president, has literally put in hundreds and hundreds of hours into this program and it's truly a labor of love for all the committee members. Because of my being on the committee, Her Good Name, was not eligible--but I'm totally cool with that. I get to remain a Whitney winner for each time I've been eligible :-) I'm also very excited about some of the books that are finalists as I am so impressed with the talent of so many of these authors. It has been SO hard for me not to post reviews of some of these books--but I have tried hard to keep my personal feelings to myself so that no one is influenced by my opinions which tend to be a little strong at times :) For a complete list as well as the cover graphics, go HERE

And without further adieu, let me present your 2008 Whitney Award Finalists (listed in Alphabetical order by genre)

ROMANCE: Seeking Persephone, by Sarah Eden, Servant to a King, by Sariah Wilson, The Sound of Rain, by Anita Stansfield, Spare Change, by Aubrey Mace, Taking Chances, by Shannon Guymon

MYSTERY/SUSPENSE:
Above and Beyond, by Betsy Brannon Green
Do No Harm, by Gregg Luke
Fool Me Twice, by Stephanie Black
Freefall, by Traci Hunter Abramson
Royal Target, by Traci Hunter Abramson

YOUTH FICTION:
The 13th Reality, by James Dashner
Alcatraz vs. The Scrivner’s Bones, by Brandon Sanderson
Fablehaven: Grip of the Shadow Plague (Book 3), by Brandon Mull
Far World: Water Keep, by J. Scott Savage
Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow, by Jessica Day George

SPECULATIVE:
Ender in Exile, by Orson Scott Card
The Great and Terrible: From the End of Heaven, by Chris Stewart
The Hero of Ages (Mistborn, Book 3), by Brandon Sanderson
The Host, by Stephanie Meyer
The Wyrmling Horde: The Seventh Book of the Runelords, by David Farland

HISTORICAL:
Abinadi, by H.B. Moore
Isabelle Webb, Legend of the Jewel, by N.C. Allen
Master, by Toni Sorenson
The Ruby, by Jennie Hansen
Traitor, by Sandra Grey

GENERAL FICTION:
Bound on Earth, by Angela Hallstrom
The Reckoning, by Tanya Parker Mills
Waiting For the Light to Change, by Annette Hawes
Fields of Home, by Rachel Ann Nunes
Keeping Keller, by Tracy Winegar

BEST BOOK BY A NEW AUTHOR:
Bound on Earth, by Angela Hallstrom
The Reckoning, by Tanya Parker Mills
Spare Change, by Aubrey Mace
Traitor, by Sandra Grey
Waiting For the Light to Change, by Annette Hawes

NOVEL OF THE YEAR:
Bound on Earth, by Angela Hallstrom
Fool Me Twice, by Stephanie Black
The Hero of Ages (Mistborn, Book 3), by Brandon Sanderson
Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow, by Jessica Day George
Traitor, by Sandra Grey

**I would also like to suggest that, if at all possible, you print off this list and take it to your local library, requesting that they be sure to have all these titles on their shelves. This would not only help those that seek out the titles, but it's also helpful for the academy members (LDS authors, publishers, critics, retailers, etc) so they can find the copies, and it helps the authors get a wider audience for their books. Most libraries in Utah have an LDS section, and many outside of Utah have a limited selection as well. I believe that knowing the book is up for an award would increase their likelihood of stocking it in their library--it's worth a shot, right?

Thank you to everyone who has supported the Whitney Awards through donations, the auction, spreading the word, and reading these books. It truly is our goal to honor those writers who have achieved excellence in their craft.

Happy Reading!

My Issues

First--thank you to everyone that came out or offered 'wish I were there' vibes for the signing last night. I appreciate it. I loved visiting with everyone that came--it really is a fun moment to have your friends around you and saying how cute the cover is and how excited they are to read it. I have the best support!

Now, back to my issues.

Because so many of my books deal with contemporary issues, people sometimes think that I have dealt with some of those particular challenges in my own life. Thankfully, no. That's not to say that I don't love a couple addicts, that there isn't mental illness in my family tree, or that I'm always nice to my husband--but overall, no, I've never been sexually abused, addicted to pain pills, married for convenience, had my identity stolen or my daughter kidnapped. I've never been divorced, or held at gun point or so sick with my pregnancy that I might die. But that's not to say I don't have issues.

One of them has reared it's ugly head today and I am trying very hard to stay calm, filling myself with positive affirmations, and keeping things in perspective.

Alas, I might lose the battle.

So, here's the thing. A couple weeks ago, Northern Utah (where I live) got drenched with rain. We already had a bunch of snow on the ground and then it rained for almost 3 full days, turning us into a cold soggy mess. But, a mess that stayed outside so it was okay. A week later I went into our spare bedroom downstairs and found the carpet was wet. Apparently, the rain gutter had been draining into the window well of that room during all that rain, and the water had come through the window, drenching the floor. We called a disaster clean up place who sucked out the water, pulled back the carpet, and put blowers on it all to dry it out. That's all good--well, okay, it's not GOOD as in wonderful, but I can handle minor household disasters like that from time to time. It's good for my blood pressure to spike under the "This is so not fair!" dramas of such things. I can handle it and move on. The plan was to dry it all out, replace the sheet rock affected, and then re-stretch the carpet.

And then Lee says "Maybe we should just replace the carpet."
"In the whole basement?" I ask, wondering where he came up with five thousand dollars.
"No, just that room."
My mouth goes dry and I clench my teeth. "We can't do that," I say.
"Sure we can, that carpet is crap anyway."
"Yes, and if you put good carpet in one room, the rest of the basement will look even crappier."
"No, it won't."
"Yes, it will! You know how I feel about floor covering, Lee, don't push me."

See, I believe all floor coverings should be the same. Since carpet is impractical in kitchens and bathrooms, I've accepted that it's usually necessary to have two types of floor covering in a house--but they should all match and all the carpet should be the same and all the tile or linoleum or hard wood should be the same--and only one of those options! Yes, the basement carpet is really lousy--but it matches! It's hard enough for me to accept that upstairs and downstairs doesn't have the same carpet, that we have TWO types of tile, and that we, gulp, re-carpeted the living room a few years ago because off white right off the kitchen is just no good. Luckily, the new carpet only touches tile, but just because it's not as bad as it could be doesn't make it right!



Do you see it? Three types of floor covering in four square feet. I know, it's horrible, isn't it?




Here is the current carpet in the basement--it's a commercial grade, very tight Berber.



The seams are coming apart, there are a few spots that are totally unraveling but I prefer it to the nauseating aspect of carpet clash--you know, where two different types of carpet touch each other. Shudder. I just hate that. I mean, I really, really hate it.

And yet, I might not have any choice--Lee's afraid the carpet won't be salvageable after we finish the repairs. So I must pull on the fortitude inspired in me through my faithful ancestors, I must absorb into my soul that life will go on. I'm sure I'll grow from the suffering, but that doesn't mean I'll like it.

And so, you can see why, when it comes to fiction, I choose those things that are detached from my personal pain. Sadly, there are some things, such as carpet clashes, that I hit a little too close to home to write a story about. Every author has to draw the line somewhere.

Book Signing TONIGHT!

For books past I have done rather elaborate opening night parties where I have prize drawings, refreshments, door prizes, and other kinds of hoopla. They really are a lot of fun--but they are also rather labor intensive to put together. Lemon Tart was released early, which means I didn't have time for much labor intensive shanagins--and life is crazy enough that I'm actually a bit relieved :-)

BUT, I am having a local book signing tonight and though it won't be as big as others have been in the past, there will be discounts and Lemon Tarts. I cleared my day so that I have nothing else to do but bake and bake and bake today. Honestly, I'm quite looking forward to it. I love to cook and I love this particular recipe and so it's happy smiles all the way around. Here's a look at my kitchen so far:













So, if you are in northern Utah and would like to come to the opening night--I would LOVE to have you. If we don't get a lot of people showing up, you can bet the sisters I visit teach are going to have lemon tarts coming out their ears :-)

Here are the specifics:

Date: Thursday, February 5
Time: 5:00-7:00 p.m.
Place: Reflections of Utah Bookstore
47 So. Main St.
Brigham City, Utah

Mom Jeans

I have clothing issues every day of my life. Things are constantly too tight or too loose or too short or too long or too plain or too busy or too complicated or too low or or too whatever. This is why you can usually find me in my scrub bottoms that I've owned for over 15 years and a sweatshirt. I swore when I got married that I would not turn into the sweat-pants-mom, and I suppose I haven't, I'm just the scrubs-and-a-sweatshirt mom. It really annoys me because I want to be the cute mom but results show that I go for comfy more than cute.

My current dilemma is Jeans. Back in the good old days, Jeans came to my actual waist, I didn't have an extra ten pounds on my derriere (that's french for butt) and I had no problem feeling both cute and comfy in a pair of jeans.

That, however, has faded. Now a days I feel neither cute or comfy and I am tired--tired of constantly pulling my shirts down, tired of not being able to bend over, tired of sitting on the floor only to realize I'm preaching my religion by showing off my garments to the whole world. And, for short waisted people like myself, low-rise jeans hit at the wrong spot--they are too high to rest on my hips which leaves a gap in the waistband, and when you sit they catch on those hips they can't rest on and puuuuuuull. I actually went almost a year without wearing jeans at all because I had . . . issues which I truly believe were brought on by the crotch on these dang-fungled jeans. In addition, my thirties has brought with it what I affectionately call my 'gob' which is a roll of 'love' located below my belly botton, but inevitably ABOVE the waistband of my pants, often catching the shirt I've chosen to wear that is long enough to overlap the pants so long as I don't sit, bend, or reach.

I've been watching too much What Not to Wear and they constantly point out that a wider leg jean slims the leg and hip whereas 'shaped' jeans make the hip and thigh area look bigger . I now see this every time I look in the mirror--they DO make my hips and thighs look wider in addition to the Gob squeezed over the top, and the gap in the waistband, and then there's the line where my garmets disect the gob etc. I need wide leg jeans that come to my waist and fit there. Problem--where the heck to do you find these magical jeans?

Last saturday as a salve to yet another blonde issue (posted later this week) I went to Kohl's. They were having a one day sale and I decided I deserved a new pair of jeans. I really do not like to shop, but I spent forty-five minutes trying on about 30 pair of jeans. Mind you, these were twenty pair of 'women's' jeans. I'd already determined that Misses jeans were not going to work because they are all hippy-low-rise-flair jeans. I instead tried on Gloria Vandervilt, Lee, Levi, and all the other jeans in the Women's section--which did have a benifit in that I wear a smaller size in Womens jeans than in Misses jeans. Out of those thirty pair I found one that was acceptable. It has a hiiiiiigh waist--remember I'm short waisted so while it would hit most women at their waist, for me it comes up to my rib cage, but it held in my gob and I could wear it with more modesty than most of the other pants I own. I liked the leg which is a boot cut--loose with a slight flair, but not super-shaped, and they were comfortable. I could actually imagine wearing them and NOT taking them off as soon as I got home (I rarely wear other jeans at home--only when I'm going out and have to look presentable)

So, yesturday I took Lou-lou to the mall. She suggested that I ought to buy a pair of Jeans, since she was getting a pair. I smiled smugly and said, "No, I just bought these."

She takes a long look at me and her eyes narrow. "Are those Mom Jeans?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, feigning that I don't know what she means.

"Oh my gosh," she says as only a 12 year old. "You did, you're actually wearing mom jeans--those pants that go aaaaaaall the way up and look weird." She shakes her head sadly and let's herself out of the car, leaving me to scrape what's left of my dignity and cuteness into my poor little hands.

So, help me out here, ladies, have you found the solution? If so, share it.

If you wear Mom Jeans and you are offended by this post, I sincerely apologize. That was not my intent.

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

No, I'm not really giving out Chicken Dinners, and I wouldn't eat it anyway, yuck. BUT, I do have the winners for the Free copy of Lemon Tart contest. Thank you to everyone who entered, not only is my website now squeaky clean, but I've got wonderful online reviews and I, well, I just feel so darn loved!

So, here are the winners--I'll be e-mailing you as well, but BIG congrats.

1st copy--Melissa C
2nd copy--Ali C.

Thanks again for everyone that played, I so appreciate all the support and the wonderful comments you've left me. If you've already read Lemon Tart, please consider leaving an online review at either Deseret Book or Amazon--it really is one of the most effective marketing tools available, and one that I can not do for myself.

Thanks again!

Free Bio-35

I've made mention on this blog previously about how much I love the multi-vitamin Bio-35. I've tried many vitamins over the years (can you say Amway, Arbonne, Isagenix) but, for me, if I can't FEEL it, then it's not worth my time or my money. I've heard all the rhetoric about vitamins being full of fillers and not doing any good, and I beleived that until I tried Bio-Pro.

I've now taken it for about 4 years and definitely notice when I miss it for a few days. When I used it regularly I have more energy during the day and my mood stays more even. Along with other changes I've made in my lifestyle, I've managed to lower my cholesterol almost 50 points since I began taking it. My kids are better behaved, my laundry folds itself and my husband gives me nightly back rubs too! (okay, so not those last few, but still . . .)

So, for all these reasons, when I heard they were giving out two week samples--I thought of you; yes, you! If, like me, you think you ought to be able to FEEL the difference when you're taking all that good stuff into your body, and you've wondered if it's worth the money (about $18/month/person taking it) AND would like to give it a shot, here's your chance.

Click HERE for the link to get your free sample and/or to read more about it.

And I Married Him Anyway

Lemon Tart contest runs until January 30, click HERE for the post

Before I thought of Lee as my husband, I thought of him as the cute-guy-with-the-mullet-that-passed-the-sacrament-and-wore-the-pink-tie. We ended up in the same weight training class my sophomore year. He was a senior. We flirted--well, I flirted, he bench pressed--and giggled--okay, I giggled, he laughed at the wacky things I would say--but eventually we decided to go on an actual date.

It was the night of what was supposed to be Lee's high-school graduation. He'd found out a week earlier that he wasn't graduating. He was .25 credits short in English but they hadn't caught it in time for him to make it up. Sorry. Never mind that his counselor had told him a year earlier that he would never amount to anything and he may as well drop out. He didn't drop out, but now he wasn't graduating all the same. My sister was graduating that night too and we were SUPPOSED to go to the graduation and sit in the audience with my parents. But from the very start I knew that it would be incredibly easy for me to say I simply didn't see them there and sat somewhere else. This was before cell phones, and graduation was at the Huntsman Center. It wasn't a stretch. And so we didn't go to the graduation ceremony (please don't tell my parents or my sister) First of all, who wants to watch all their friends graduate when they've been cut out of it? And second, we were stupid teenagers. Instead of attending the graduation we broke into a cabin up little cottonwood canyon. We thought it was Lee's friend's uncle--which of course made it okay--but in a quirky twist of weird fate, it turned out to belong to the counselor in our bishopric, a point I learned a year later when we went up there for a Young Womens planning night. Creepy.

So, we go to this cabin and . . .FAST FORWARD . . . decided it was time to go home--the graduation ceremony had been over for about an hour. I put the leftover hot dogs and root beer in a bag (he's said I could HAVE it--is that sweet or what?) It was May, and there was still a lot of snow on the ground. There was a foot path that wound around some cabins up to the parking lot, but it was kinda long so Lee suggested we just go up the hill.

I say, "But I'm in a dress and I paid $9 at Payless for these white leather (i.e. plastic) boots with the cut out stars and the rhinestones on them that don't have any traction."

He says, "I'll help you, we'll be fine."

Then he holds my hand, and dang but I was happy to walk through three foot snow drifts in my traction-free cut out boots if I got to hold his hand. So we start up--and it's not too bad. The snow is frozen so I manage to stay on top of the crust and every time I slide he held on a little tighter. So far, this was totally working for me.

We're almost half way up and the snow drops down to where it melted away from the trunk of a huge pine tree. We're right next to the branches, but have about ten feet of no snow until the drift starts up again.

And then we hear the growl.

Not a small little whimpering growl that says "You're bigger than me and I'm scared" this was a low, long, deep growl that says "Dinner."

We both freeze and then we take off--except that Lee actually moves while I spin in place on wet soggy pine needles, holding tight to the bag of hot dogs and root beer. Somehow he lets go of my hand, which was nice in that it allows me to use that hand to help claw my way over the frozen snow drift, but bad in the sense that he'd totally abandoned me. I'm stepping on my skirt, clutching the bag and still getting no traction. Lee has now reached the top and yells down "Hurry."

So I pull up the skirt of my dress, drop the bag in hopes that the bear will find hot dogs ample substitute for my calves, and punch it. I sink in the snow this time--which was rather cold on my bare legs now exposed due to the fact that I've had to hike my skirt all the way up to move my legs, the snow is pouring into my star cut out boots but I claw, crawl my way up to the top where Lee is waiting for me.

The look on his face when I reach him clues me in to the fact that my skirt is cinched around my waist. I drop it, then he looks me in the face. "I thought you were right behind me."

"Whatever--you got to the top and yelled for me to hurry when I hadn't moved a foot! I'm in a skirt and stupid boots, for cryin out loud, you coulda helped me a little."

"Well, I knew one of us might need to go for help."

We're half an hour from "help", and the bear would be picking his teeth with my ribs by the time Lee got back to me. But his comment reminds both of us that we were running from something so we hurry to the car, get in and lock the doors. We drive a quarter mile before I make him stop so I can empty the snow out of my boots. My skirt is soaked, I'm freezing, AND I lost the hot dogs. I'm not a happy starry-eyed 16 year old anymore. Good thing we'd taken care of the kissing at the cabin cause I wasn't in any mood for it anymore.

But then he reaches across the emergency brake, takes my hand, and with his other hand turns up the MC Hammer Tape. I feel my desire not to kiss this guy fading as MC croons in the background. It's hammer go hammer MC hammer yo hammer and the rest can go and play, Can't touch this.

How can a girl hold her resolve in a situation like that?

"Are you okay?" he asks with those melty blue eyes.

I nod.

"Do you want to go out next week so I can make it up to you?"

I nod again. "A Drive-in, maybe?"

And the rest, as they say is history.

(Disclaimer--I in no way mean to condone not-graduating from high school, breaking and entering, pre-marital partial nudity, lying to family members, being alone with a cute guy in a cabin, or littering. I would also like to point out that Lee worthily served a mission six months after this, we married in the temple and it is now perfectly okay that he sees me half naked. And no, we never found out what was in that tree--we did go to the drive-in though.)

Lemon Tart Contest!!

I just got the release date for Lemon Tart, my first Sadie Hoffmiller Culinary Mystery. It will be released on March 4! Wohoo, I'm so excited and in order to share that excitement (and help gear up for my promotion phase) I'm hosting a contest.

There are three ways to enter, all of them can be taken advantage of through my website and you can enter any and all of the ways listed--basically quantidurpiling your chances of winning. (I made that word up :-)



So, here's how you enter:

1--Go to my website www.josiskilpack.com and click on the "Lemon Tart" menu option. Read the first chapter posted there, then e-mail me and tell me what time the timer dinged. kilpack@gmail.com

2--Leave an online review of any of my four most recent novels at Deseret Book Online. You can access the website via the "Buy the Book" Button on the pages for those books on my website (it will not obligate you to buy anything--just take you to the page where you can leave a review) Then e-mail me and tell me which book you reviewed. kilpack@gmail.com (If you've already posted a review, the website won't let you leave another one on that particular book--sorry)

The eligible books are:
Her Good Name
Sheep's Clothing
Unsung Lullaby
To Have or To Hold

3--Due to my computer crash in October, I have been unable to update my website. Now that I finished English Trifle (did I forget to mention that? I FINALLY FINISHED ENGLISH TRIFLE AND TURNED IT IN--HAPPY DANCE WITH ME, PEOPLE!) I took three whole days to rebuild my website from scratch. I'm sure there are several typos, dropped links, etc. If you find any of those things, e-mail me the mistake and you find yourself entered. I will fixing mistakes as soon as one person lets me know, so you'll want to be the first one. You get one entry per page that you find typos on--so if you find a mistake on three different pages, you get an entry for each one you point out. If you find three typos on one page, you get one entry--does that make sense? kilpack@gmail.com

In addition to the contest, I'll be having my Opening Night Party sometime in March--if you would like to receive a postcard invitation with a discount (only good that night), please e-mail me your mailing address.

AND there is an option on the website to pre-order autographed copies of Lemon Tart via the website as well.

So, there you have it--multiple chances to win one of the first copies of Lemon Tart. I will be sending out the copy as soon as I receive the books--probably the first week of March. This contest will go through January 30th, at which time I will draw two names and post the winners.

Thanks for playing!

(I had e-mail links, but Ali pointed out they weren't working--and I don't know how to make them work so I've fixed them. She got an entry for pointing out the problem :-)

Blonde Moment # 10,569

Wednesday I had a GREAT writing day. GREAT writing days have been rather hard for me to come by lately. I'm on my very first deadline and finding it to not be nearly as cool as I thought it would be. I've been writing like mad and cranking out the words--but it hasn't been fun, I've constantly questioned what I'm writing, and though I like what I'd created I knew it wasn't fabulous. So basically I was spending all my time working on something I wasn't liking very much. I've been writing on a timer--which means I make myself write for 30 minutes, then go do something fun--like clean a toilet, mop the floor, sort socks. What, those don't sound fun? EXACTLY my point. When things like that become the reward for writing, it says a lot about how much I've been enjoying the writing, doesn't it?

But Wednesday was a GREAT writing day. Tuesday had also been good, which made Wednesday even better. I wrote for almost four hours--didn't even think about laundry or flossing or anything like that. My wonderful, fabulous, cheerleading friend Julie had put me on a 1,300/day diet back in December so I could finish this book. I'd been following her plan, but calling every few days to whine about it (keep in mind Julie has two full time jobs on top of her own writing--and I'm complaining to her because I only have 6 hours a day to myself. Yes, I have fabo friends that put up with me).

I felt like I'd finally broken that barrier and I had to call her and tell her about it--knowing she would scream and squeal on the other end of the line and drop everything to tell me how happy she was for me.

So I dialed her number, waited three rings and heard, "Hello."

(Imagine this next part being said at 100 miles an hour in my high-pitched excited voice) Hi, it's me, I just had to call you because I knew you'd be so happy for me, I'm writing, and I love it and I resolved all those stupid plot holes and I'm so dang excited and I actually like this and it's finally just coming to me, ya know, and I feel like I could write for hours--I'm like some kind of super hero--and . . . hello? . . . hello?"

She'd hung up on me!

Well, that was rather anti-clamatic. So I hit redial and just happen to glance at the number before putting it to my ear. Was that a 9 instead of a 6? It's supposed to be a 6. Did I dial the wrong number?

Sure did.

Some lady with a prefix of 849 was just reminded that she needed to talk to her kids about the dangers of drug use again.

School Daze--shudder

So, Jenna, at one of my favoritist blogs, Cranberry Corner, is going back to school. My neighbor (with 3 girls ages 1-7) is also back in class. And even my dear husband is doing the online thing. Ironically, all of them are going into nursing. My hubby is already an RN, but would like to get his Bachelor's degree. Even though he doesn't work in the field right now, he wants to shore (sure?) up his options and his nursing license has been a great security for us throughout our marriage.

I look at all these people--grown ups every one of them--and think, gosh, maybe I should go back to school, too. I mean, my kids are in school all day now and there are two wonderful universities within a thirty minute drive of my house; not to mention an IT school and an extension just ten miles away. It might be fun.

This lasts for about twelve seconds, then my stomach knots up, I have difficulty breathing, and I throw up.

It's not that I'm a bad student--I mean I was a solid C student through most of my schooling, except for my senior year when I went all Marion the Librarian and brought my GPA up to 3.6. I had some good teachers and some bad teachers, and one teacher in particular that said to me "I'll never understand why women go to college when they're sitting on a fortune." Think about it--it's pretty crude.

After high school, I attended a year of college and took all my writing classes. I was set toward getting an Associate of Science degree and decided to do my favorite classes first. I wrote two scintillating papers--one on the contagious aspects of a yawn and one on sex change operations--yes, I did choose my own topics, why do you ask?

Halfway through that year my missionary came home. We got married in April and three weeks later I kicked off my shoes and went about getting pregnant. I've been happily uneducated ever since.

Now, don't get me wrong, I loooooove to learn--love it. I love to be a know it all, I love knowing weird details about things like the fact that one pickle has all the sodium your body needs for a year--it's true, I read it in Reader's Digest. I love to read, I love, love, love, Wikipedia, and I have been a voracious student of writing skills (not that my blog reflects it, but still). However, do not put me in a classroom and make me take a test. Oy, the very idea gives me a headache. Truly, I don't think I could do things like complete assisgnments and color in bubbles on the little test thing--do they still do that?

I have returned to the classroom a couple times--I had to go to a three week class to get my Dietary Manager certification when we owned the Assisted Living facilities--hated every minute of it but I framed the certficate all the same and I'll admit to a sense of pride that I passed the test and could serve my pork roast with confidence, knowing it had been cooked to the optimal internal temperature. I also took a class on photoshop a couple years back. It was a pass-fail class based upon finishing the different segments. As soon as I'd completed 60% of the work I could stop attending if I wanted to--seeee yaaaaaa.

I do realize that if the economy gets worse and my books stop selling I might have to get a job--and truly I'm woefully unqualified for pretty much everything but daycare--however, I'm not a big fan of kids so I don't see that as a good option (neither to the parents that would entrust their little darlings to my care). I'm a great waitress though and would make a pretty good checker at a grocery store--neither of which require me to have any kind of special certification AND they pay like $6/hour. After making about $1.50/hour writing books and doing laundry and dishes for free these last fifteen years--that sounds like a lot of money!

So, yes, this is a hats off to those of you that have the discipline and dedication to go to school--I do admire it--and yes, this blog could also be construed as a plea that people don't stop buying books. But, mostly, this is me coming out of the proverbial closet and being grateful that I live in a country where I am free to be an uneducated lump if I want to.

Would you like fries with that? A baked potato is going to cost an additional $1.25 but the butter and sour cream is free.

Leaving, on a Jet Plane

So, my husband is on his way to Costa Rica on business today. We had tried to figure out how I could go so that we could find a hammock somewhere and have an entire conversation, but with $600/airline ticket and four kids, we had to give up the dream. His flight left at 8:00 and we live an hour from the airport, so last night I set the alarm for 5:05, giving him 40 minutes to get ready and then he'd arrive within an hour and a half of his flight. It's all good, right?

Well, it only works if you turn the alarm ON.

At 6:30 I wake up and I slug Lee in the shoulder. "It's 6:30!" I say as I scramble out of bed and then just stand there. How am I supposed to help him?

"It is not," he says, jumping out of bed, looking at the clock. "Crap, it's 6:30!"

He runs into the bathroom to stick his head under the tap and throw on the clothes he'd set out. I stand in the middle of the room for a minute, then go into the kitchen, then come back into the bedroom and then inspect the alarm clock. "I didn't turn it on," I say, finally awake enough to figure it out.

Proof that I married an amazing man="It's okay," he says after rinsing with some mouth wash cause he doesn't have time to brush his teeth. You have to understand that my husband is a little obsessive about his morning routine--he always showers, even if he's going to do yard work and knows he'll shower when he finishes, and he always brushes his teeth for a full 2 minutes (which is why he's had 2 cavities in his life--I've had dozens). If he'd done this to me I'd be totally ticked and making snide comments that could sound like I wasn't mad, but really left little room for any doubt.

He double checks his bags and puts on his shoes while I go back to standing in the middle of the room. I did pick up his lap top bag and hold it for him. He finishes up, kisses me, takes the laptop and disappears into the morning.

At 8:09 I receive this e-mail from his blackberry

I think i made it to the parking lot in about 45 minutes(i was flying and no traffic.) Bus was fast at parknjet. Check in was fast but they said we board in 2 minutes! I ran to security and the line was huge! I finally got through that and got to the gate just as my group was called. Thanks for your help. I will chat with u later...miss u already

Did I totally luck out in the husband department, or what?

All this reminded me of an essay contest I entered last year--it's very fitting right about now. And Even though I've gotten used to Lee being out of town, and he's going to be back on Tuesday, for some reason it's different when he's going that far away. So, although some of you read this when I won the contest, I'm gunna post it again because I miss my sweetie.

My Ideal Day
By Josi S. Kilpack

Seawater clings to my skin and the tropical flora seem intent to convince me nothing in the world exists but this—right here, right now. Somewhere up the beach fish is grilling while beans boil in a covered pot. Mangos are in season and their ripening scent competes with that of the flowers all around me.

Can you smell it?

The call of a thousand sea birds fills the sky and my hammock creaks amid it’s swaying. The Ocean breeze creates a whispered symphony as it travels through the palm leaves above, behind, beside me. His footsteps approach while the waves crash and crash and crash upon the shore. They keep rhythm with my breathing until he whispers in my ear and breath deserts me entirely.

Can you hear it?

The air is thick and salty, each wave sending a tribute of itself toward the heavens when it breaks upon the beach. The sand is soft and supple on my feet and the world is moving back and forth as the hammock sways. Back and forth, back and forth. His hand lingers on my cheek, my neck, my shoulder and we try and see if it's a hammock built for two.

Can you feel it?

Sky as big as it’s ever been, the flat and flawless countenance broken only by the constant motion of the sea. His eyes are as blue as the ocean surrounding us and the grasses and ferns are so green it's as if the color was invented just for them. The sun is made brighter by the reflection of whitened sand as his footprints are sucked back into the sea with every wave that rolls upon the beach.

Can you see it?

I am late for nothing and no one depends on me to be fed, or cleaned, or delivered. I have no deadlines, no appointments, no bills to pay, or calls to make. There are no excuses to fill my mind. There is no distraction from our course. And he is here too, as free as me. We have nothing to do but find us again; the us that sometimes gets lost in the laundry and board meetings, the carpools and lawn mowing.

With a little luck, the journey back to us will take all day.

And in case you haven't had enough of me today--I was a featured Molly on Modern Molly Mormon today :-)

Howling at the Moon

I love sleep--really, really love it. I need about 7 hours a night to function well and I reward myself with naps when I can--which isn't very often. Sunday afternoon is nap time and we are as religious about it as we are with going to church. There is no doubt that my best days follow a good night's sleep. It's important to me.

Well, I'm having a hard time sleeping this week. It's like I'm just not really sleeping--I'm in this hovery dream state where I'm annoyed with myself because I know I'm not getting rest, but I'm watching this weird thing play out. But it's been three or four nights and I'm tired dangit!

I think it might have something to do with the full moon--I noticed in November that I had a hard time sleeping during the full moon and now I'm having a hard time again which gives me permission to obsess. Stay with me here;

I worked as a night-shift CNA in high-school and through the old folks I took care of I learned a great respect for rhythm--rhythm of the daily routine, rhythm of the human body, and rhythms of the world at large. There was a disorder called Sundowners, where Granny and Gramps who were sweet and wonderful during the day, would literally go crazy when the sun went down. I didn't beleive it till I saw it--and holy schmokes was it scary. Not all old people were affected, but probably 30% of the people in my nursing home were thrown off by some version of Sundowners. Most just got confused, but there were a couple that became freaking ax murderers (especially the guy that really had been an ax murderer). On regular nights it was annoying, but during the full moon things were just bonkers. We CNAs would check the schedule at the first of the month to see who was scheduled to work the Alzhiemer's unit over the full moon--we deserved time and a half, but never got it. It would build in the days before the moon was full, then explode that night.

So, I'm thinking that might be what I have--except that would mean I should be sane come morning.

So maybe I'm watching too much TV--I really, really, really like TV and become really sucked in these last few weeks. I spent three days watching extreme wieght loss stories--fascinating. Today, I'm watching back to back Presley Biography's and all I gotta say is, what the *#$% were Priscilla's parent's thinking. They really thought their 17 year old daughter that had been in love with Elvis for three years stayed at the next door neighbor's house when she visted him in LA? Duh. Anyway, when I try to sleep all the stuff I've watched on TV is blurring toghther with holiday things that really happened. I don't like it. I'm tired and cranky. And lest you think my house is in shambles and my WIP is covered in cobwebs--I'm a master at using commercials to my advantage and I write while I watch TV. But it might not be healthy.

I can't take Nyquil. The last time I did, I was awake for the next 18 hours. I'm really funny with medications--they don't affect me the way the label says. Basically I stick to anything Tylenol, but I take half the dose. So Tylenol PM is a good thing, but I don't want to take that every night for the rest of my life.

So, people, help me out here. I wanna good night sleep tonight and I'm running out of ideas, but the moon is waning now (I think--it's hard to see with the clouds that keep snowing)

Out and In--08 to 09

Moments I could have lived without in 08:

*The midnight knock on my bedroom door that rocked my world. We’ve made great progress since that day, but I’ve lost the naive belief that doing my best means my kids won’t have to face certain trials.

*The realization that someone I love (not the same one that knocked on my door) really doesn’t want to change and that I can’t fix her. This realization has been several years coming, but this year I felt like I really put myself out there to make the difference, and I believe this person truly faced a couple chances to change her life—and she turned her back on every one of them. I’ve crossed the line of no longer feeling capable of making myself vulnerable to manipulation, which means that I can no longer fool myself into believing that I have anything else to give her. I've also realized that my attempts to help her seem to hurt me and my family too much to risk it anymore. Thank goodness I believe in prayer so that I know there is still something I can do that will help her more than I ever could.

*Opening the door and being served papers filed by the guy that already ripped us off. His choices have put my family on the precipice, and yet he’s alleging we owe him even more. This has shaken my belief that people are basically good. It will likely influence 2009 a great deal and I’m dreading that.

*Hubby working in Las Vegas. I miss him and home isn’t the same without him and yet I’m accepting that this will be our life for awhile.

*Ending the year five pounds heavier than I started. I'm gunna have to give up my daily baking fetish. I miss it already.

*Giving pets away. This still just makes my heart ache and overwhelms me with feelings of failure. I wish I’d never had the animals in the first place—please remind me of that if I find myself tempted again!

*My computer crashing—but y’all have heard enough about that.


Favorite Moments of 08:

*Celebrating 15 years of marriage to a man that proves to me everyday that God loves me. When I look back at these 15 years I marvel at who we started as and who we've become. I am grateful beyond measure that although we've both grown in different ways, we've stayed together throughout our journeys.

*Winning The Whitney Award for Sheep’s Clothing—this was such an incredibly validating moment for me and even though I was a big baby when I accepted it, I will never forget that evening. For those that think it's unfair Her Good Name is ineligible--one of the reasons I joined the committee was so Her Good Name wouldn't be eligible--then I can say I've won the Whitney every year I was eligible :-)

*Celebrating 10 years of writing—I wasn’t published until 2000, but I started writing ten years ago and now I marvel that I ever had a time where I wasn’t overwhelmed with the problems of fictional characters.

*KB started first grade which meant I have 6 hours to myself five days a week—priceless

*Jeanie received high honors at her school and was invited to a special award ceremony for it—this was something both of us really needed and it was wonderful to see her accomplish so much.

*Running—I have truly loved running this year. I ran my first 5K and loved the rush of it. I feel like I found a little bliss I had been missing and I’m proud of myself for sticking to it long enough to learn to love it.

*Vacationing in Costa Rica with my family--I lost the pictures, but I'm glad to have the memory.

*Discovered Isagenix and feel like I got my emotion/mood issues under better control than I’ve had for awhile.

*Deseret Book accepted my first book in a new series—Lemon Tart. I can’t wait for it to come out and it’s been a whole new experience!

*Great blogs that inspire and advise me, good family and friends that make life worth living, and the gift the Gospel gives me in knowing that hard things don’t last forever and that every day is a new opportunity to do a little better than I did the day before. I am every grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves me and wants good things for me.

Four Hopes for 09 (things I don’t really have control over):

*A new house without a house payment
*The resolving of the business issues we’re facing
*Have two books published
*Have the economy turn around WITH the lessons we’ve learned remaining in tact.


Five Resolutions for 09 (things I do have control over):

*RSVP. I was a real loser on this but I commit to RSVPing in 09.
*Run a half marathon—I’m so excited and overwhelmed by this but I’m gunna do it!
*Find my abs again—they got lost somewhere and I’m determined to find out where they are hiding.
*A compliment a day for every member of my family—they are all great, so this shouldn’t be too hard but it doesn’t come naturally.

Let Me Define This For You . . .

So, a couple months ago I noticed a somewhat disturbing thing--the word verification when commenting on blogger-blogs were beginning to sound like real words! I know, weird huh?

I've been blogging for a few years now and I had grown accustomed to word verifications that weren't words at all--"words" like llprimee and rtrpphl. I must admit that I worry my ability to now decipher some of these words is sign of some kind of mental failing on my part--making sense of nonsensical things--but then I wonder if the opposite is true instead. PERHAPS this is a sign of increased brilliance on my part! If that's the case, then the rest of you need my help to decipher what these new words mean.

So, while in Las Vegas with my family (another post for another day) I wrote down the word verifications I had on several blogs I left comments for and I will not proceed to define these words for you.

Donity--Term used to describe the bathroom. (say the following with an English accent) "I'll have me another pint when I get back from the donity"

Abloatic--The feeling one feels on New Year's morning after spending six hours eating copulous amounts of junkfood rich in transfats. "Roll me out to the car, Ma, I'm too abloatic to walk there on my own today."

Frousi--A derogotory term used to refer to young Austrian women with questionable moral characters--combination of the words frauline and hussy. "Oh, that Marta is such a frousi."

Mendstom--Actual name of the boogie man, but not used very often due to the non-frightening nature of it. "

Comenti--Title given to blog commenters that never leave comments comprised of more than 3 words such as "Good one!" or "Ha, Ha" or "You go girl-fren."--"I guess I shouldn't feel so bad, every blog has a comenti or two."

Panslo--Code word used by mothers when they accidentally turn off the burner while cooking dinner--"Dinner will take a little longer, kids, the chicken was a little panslo."

Gurga--They kind of guy that likes to date a frousi. "Oh, looks like Marta found herself a Gurga."

Glycaliz--A condition often associated with to much blog reading. "Dad, mom's looking a little glycaliz--should we shut off the breaker again?"

So there you have it--now don't you feel smarter?

Last Day for Whitney Nominations

Today is the last day titles by LDS writer-written books can be nominated for The Whitney Award 2008. Criteria are limited to:

1--Author must be LDS (But the book can be published in the national or LDS market)
2--Book must be published in 2008
3--Book must be a book--as opposed to a creative dance choreography using palm fronds and silly string (sorry Rob)
4--Authors serving on the Whitney committee or as a judge are ineligible for nomination--this is why Her Good Name is not eligible this year, because I'm on the committee, however you can still send your shameless compliments my way whenever you like

There are hundreds of eligible books out there, many which have not yet received the 5 reader votes necessary for them to become a nominee. After today, the judges will be reading all the nominations in order to vote for the top 5 in each category that will then become The Whitney Award 2008 Finalists. This list will be published in February, to then be voted on by The Whitney Academy which is made up of publishers, authors, bookstore owners and other industry professionals. The winners will be announced at The Whitney Gala on April 25 at the Provo Marriott. Click HERE to buy tickets to the Gala.

That's it? Well, then Merry Christmas I guess

Hmmm, it must be Christmas:


One garbage bag full of environment destroying gift wrap, eight plates of half eaten neighbor gifts, one broken crock pot lid, one new guitar for guitar hero with a broken whammy bar (thanks eBay), an extra foot of snow, one husband with the flu, one kid crying because he doesn't want to share his Legos, two hours without power (You wanted to play the video games? You are so spoiled), an extra five (or twelve) pounds on my backside, and all I got was a freaking back up camera for my car--I guess Santa doesn't want me backing over anyone's bikes anymore--he has no sense of adventure.


At least my house is clean










Or not.


And my kids are happy--except for the one that went to his room crying--oh, and the one that realized the guitar was broken--oh, and the one with the Littlest pet shop toy that had a battery dated May 2007 so it doesn't work--oh, and the one that was not impressed with Mom's admittion that she forgot to buy the lil wayne CD--oh, and the one that got a bike even though he wanted a Wii--oh, and the one that got the cedar chest--oh, and the one that's mad cause I won't let her see "Yes, Man" until Dad and I approve it. Wait--that's eight. I only have four kids. How does that work?


At least my kitchen is clean too.










Cynicism aside, I love Christmas--though I probably prefer Chrismas Even to Christmas Day. We had a nice dinner and read the Christmas story. Some freinds stopped by, we had trifle, and the kids were in bed by nine. Today, we're all just chillin--I've written almost 1000 words on my current book--a very Merry Christmas for me--and we have enough left overs that I won't have to cook for a couple days and I've got a good 11 months before I have to do all this again :-)

Happy Holidays