Friday, July 13, 2007

Rockin Girl Blogger Annette

Annette Lyon gave me this award awhile ago and I'm finally getting it posted! It's not that I wasn't flattered, and didn't reward myself greatly for my accomplishment in deserving such an award, because, oh yes, I most definitely deserved it. But the problem arose when I hovered my cursor over the picture in her blog. It showed that little hand thing that means it's a link. Oh woe is me! I didn't know how to put a link in my blog and here I was faced with such a task. So I put it off, and wrote about chickens, and books, and crap like that. And yet, here I am, repentant of my procrastination and owing Annette ANOTHER favor for being so difficult to work with. One day she's just going to show up and repossess my car or something to make up for all the things I owe her.

Which brings me to another point, that I'll likely owe Annette for too. Annette and I 'met' through an e-mail group, LDStorymakers which is a group made up of . . . well, storymakers that are LDS. I'd been a member since the beginning (i.e. dominating, difficult, and oh so right about everything) and Annette had just joined up. She was smart and opinionated--just the right qualities to bring out my dominating difficultness.

So, one day the group starts discussing publishing and neither Annette or I can keep out mouth shut. I won't go into the actual topic associated with the debate, but we were both passionate, opinionated and within a few hours it was ugly. We were slinging mud back and forth so fast that other members of the group quickly stepped back, pulled out their 72 hour kits and started praying. This went on for most of the day. I don't know exactly what she was thinking at the time, but my whole day revolved around this battle. I took great pride in my quippy replies and how 'right' I was, and the battle quickly became personal attacks against each other. When my husband came home I read him each e-mail in order, my ire rising as I waited for him to congratulate me for my pointed prose and tell me what a demon Annette was for daring to question my all-knowing brilliance!

Just as I finished the last post, another e-mail came in. "Oh, perfect," I said, wiggling my butt into my chair and sharpening my nails as I clicked on it and started reading it to my husband. I don't remember the exact wording but it basically said, "This has gotten out of control and I'm so sorry for the things I've said. I'm taking a few days off to think over the things you've said, and I've said. Again, I'm sorry."

Talk about deflating my rage. I just sat there, staring at it, trying to come up with something I could pull out and smash between my queenly fingers. But there was nothing but sincere humility and regret in her words. My husband just sat there as well and finally said. "Wow, she doesn't seem so bad."

Yeah, she didn't, did she? It was amazing how quickly my fires were put out when humility was thrown into the battle. For the next few months we were careful around each other, and then little by little we'd each take a step forward, and then another and another. Today, three years later, Annette is one of my favorite people. She and I trade articles back and forth for editing, I volunteered at her chocolate show, she invited me to be part of her planet, and she gave me the Rockin Girl Blogger award it too me weeks to blog about. It's rather amazing how much we have in common--which might be the basis for our fight in the first place.

I learned a lot that day, about the kind of woman Annette really was, and about the kind of woman I was. I've thought back to it many times as I've been quick to reply to something I've taken offense to and it is one of those moments that comes back to me often as I debate between being 'right' and being 'righteous'.

Oh, and for the record--she WAS right all along. The castle I was defending was soon realized to be made of cardboard. I'm reminded of a quote relayed by Tim Taylor of Tool Time "Better them to think you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

So is this a "Josi's a moron" topic or a "Been there, done that" frame of reference for all y'all?

Oh, and am I supposed to pass on the award?


Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Definitely been there, done that.

Oh, except I was right. =P

Jeff Savage said...

Having known both you and Annette for years now, I can say without a doubt that saying what you think is one of the qualities I admire most in both of you. And . . . both of you worry far too much that you might have offended someone.

I can just imagine both of you going, "I should never have said that. I am such a jerk. She's going to hate me forever."

That was actually a pretty fun discussion as I recall. (Although it is nice that you finally converted to the dark side.) And both of you made very good points.

And personally, I think you both rock.

RobisonWells said...

I want to know what the debate was about. :(

ali cross said...

Josi, thank you for letting me have a good laugh at your expense! I'm sure I have btdt, but at this moment, I can't think of anything that possibly compares to how awfully you behaved!! (teasing, of course)

Congrats on being the latest and greates Rockin' Girl Blogger! A crown that suits you perfectly!

Heather Moore said...

I know this isn't supposed to be funny, but I had to laugh. I can just imagine the argument in my head.

I love your description of sharpening your nails.

You are both awesome and I'm glad it was all worked out :O)

Annette Lyon said...

Wow, Josi--thanks! I'm not sure what to say, except that I'm glad it all blew over in spite of my foot in my mouth and that I've been able to sincerely call you my friend for a long time now. We really are a lot alike--so much so it's eerie sometimes!

Jenna said...

I've certainly gotten myself in these situations over and over again in life, because I always know I'm right! But then I hear Dr. Phil asking, "Would you rather be right or happy?" Sigh. Both? You're right, humility is the best weapon to end conflict, isn't it? That's one lesson I have to keep on learning over and over again...

Anna Maria Junus said...

Now you've just piqued my interest in knowing what the fight was about!

Luisa Perkins said...

Congratulations, Rockin' Girl! My curiosity is also piqued, since I have a difficult time imagining you two fighting.

Anonymous said...

hi josi: cool post you shared here. you made me laugh/snort out loud at your "72 hour and pray for" comment. and i liked how you said you sharpened your nails getting ready to respond. good word choices there.

way neat how you and your bud eased up on each other and ultimately have become very good buddies. great story and experience.

did you ever see the tom hanks/meg ryan movie "you've got mail"?? it was interesting how they changed so much from how they first started with each other.

fun post, enjoyed, kathleen :)