Friday, January 02, 2009

Out and In--08 to 09

Moments I could have lived without in 08:

*The midnight knock on my bedroom door that rocked my world. We’ve made great progress since that day, but I’ve lost the naive belief that doing my best means my kids won’t have to face certain trials.

*The realization that someone I love (not the same one that knocked on my door) really doesn’t want to change and that I can’t fix her. This realization has been several years coming, but this year I felt like I really put myself out there to make the difference, and I believe this person truly faced a couple chances to change her life—and she turned her back on every one of them. I’ve crossed the line of no longer feeling capable of making myself vulnerable to manipulation, which means that I can no longer fool myself into believing that I have anything else to give her. I've also realized that my attempts to help her seem to hurt me and my family too much to risk it anymore. Thank goodness I believe in prayer so that I know there is still something I can do that will help her more than I ever could.

*Opening the door and being served papers filed by the guy that already ripped us off. His choices have put my family on the precipice, and yet he’s alleging we owe him even more. This has shaken my belief that people are basically good. It will likely influence 2009 a great deal and I’m dreading that.

*Hubby working in Las Vegas. I miss him and home isn’t the same without him and yet I’m accepting that this will be our life for awhile.

*Ending the year five pounds heavier than I started. I'm gunna have to give up my daily baking fetish. I miss it already.

*Giving pets away. This still just makes my heart ache and overwhelms me with feelings of failure. I wish I’d never had the animals in the first place—please remind me of that if I find myself tempted again!

*My computer crashing—but y’all have heard enough about that.

Favorite Moments of 08:

*Celebrating 15 years of marriage to a man that proves to me everyday that God loves me. When I look back at these 15 years I marvel at who we started as and who we've become. I am grateful beyond measure that although we've both grown in different ways, we've stayed together throughout our journeys.

*Winning The Whitney Award for Sheep’s Clothing—this was such an incredibly validating moment for me and even though I was a big baby when I accepted it, I will never forget that evening. For those that think it's unfair Her Good Name is ineligible--one of the reasons I joined the committee was so Her Good Name wouldn't be eligible--then I can say I've won the Whitney every year I was eligible :-)

*Celebrating 10 years of writing—I wasn’t published until 2000, but I started writing ten years ago and now I marvel that I ever had a time where I wasn’t overwhelmed with the problems of fictional characters.

*KB started first grade which meant I have 6 hours to myself five days a week—priceless

*Jeanie received high honors at her school and was invited to a special award ceremony for it—this was something both of us really needed and it was wonderful to see her accomplish so much.

*Running—I have truly loved running this year. I ran my first 5K and loved the rush of it. I feel like I found a little bliss I had been missing and I’m proud of myself for sticking to it long enough to learn to love it.

*Vacationing in Costa Rica with my family--I lost the pictures, but I'm glad to have the memory.

*Discovered Isagenix and feel like I got my emotion/mood issues under better control than I’ve had for awhile.

*Deseret Book accepted my first book in a new series—Lemon Tart. I can’t wait for it to come out and it’s been a whole new experience!

*Great blogs that inspire and advise me, good family and friends that make life worth living, and the gift the Gospel gives me in knowing that hard things don’t last forever and that every day is a new opportunity to do a little better than I did the day before. I am every grateful for a Heavenly Father that loves me and wants good things for me.

Four Hopes for 09 (things I don’t really have control over):

*A new house without a house payment
*The resolving of the business issues we’re facing
*Have two books published
*Have the economy turn around WITH the lessons we’ve learned remaining in tact.

Five Resolutions for 09 (things I do have control over):

*RSVP. I was a real loser on this but I commit to RSVPing in 09.
*Run a half marathon—I’m so excited and overwhelmed by this but I’m gunna do it!
*Find my abs again—they got lost somewhere and I’m determined to find out where they are hiding.
*A compliment a day for every member of my family—they are all great, so this shouldn’t be too hard but it doesn’t come naturally.


Brooke said...

It's hard when one person ruins your thoughts that people are basically good. I think there are some people out there that are just not. I understand the five pound weight gain (I'm there). I'm not a big runner, but good for you! Congratulations on the book series. I can't wait to read them. (BTW, Tempest Tossed is one of my favorite books EVER).

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

I loved this post Josi. You are so fun and such a good person. So talented and I really admire you in so many ways.

I'm jealous about your running. Who knows, maybe I'll be able to start again this year.

Good luck this year in all your endeavors. God bless you.

Crystal said...

GRRREAT list! Lessons learned, memories to cherish & goals accomplished....I loved this post. Maybe just maybe, I'll write ME own. Happy New Year!

Kara said...

Good luck with your running and finding your abs! I also can't wait to see your new book come out -- especially after all the dishes Don has tried out. They've really got me wondering just how they are woven in to the plot.

Momo Fali said...

Life certainly doesn't mind handing out the bad with the good, does it? If you're lucky, the good will outweigh the bad. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm on the better end of that scale.

Stephanie Humphreys said...

Hopefully the good moments outshone the bad. I think it was great when you won the Whitney award. I probably would have acted the same. I'm with you on the finding abs resolution. I haven't seen mine for so long I forgot what they looked like.

Annette Lyon said...

The first half of your list about broke my heart. (And I didn't realize hubby's in LV. That sucks.)

Here's hoping 09 is very, very good to you! You certainly deserve it.

Julie Wright said...

Josi, you amaze and awe in all you do. I hope your 2009 is fabulous because you simply deserve it.

Luisa Perkins said...

You're such a champ; you totally inspire me.

I can't WAIT to read Lemon Tart.

And hey--Isagenix! Good stuff, Maynard.

Tristi Pinkston said...

Wow, have you ever had a rollercoaster year. But you've come through it with bravery, and that's a whole lot more than most of us would do. You're a hero. Hang in there.

Karlene said...

Life certainly has its ups and downs. I guess that's what makes it interesting, eh?

And why do you think Her Good Name wouldn't win? Bet it would. :)

Hope 09 brings you all good things.

Melanie Jacobson said...

My new year is starting with the bottom part of the roller coaster, but since I've never been great at passivity, I think I'm ready to jump out of the car, find the controls, and speed us toward a permanent upswing. Thank goodness for prayers.

Heather Moore said...

Love all of this! Great thoughts. I'm so grateful for YOUR friendship! Cheers to a happy 09.

Janette Rallison said...

Sorry you had some hard times in 08! Hope things go much better in 09! Thanks for reminding us to have a good attitude about the things we do and don't have control over.

ali cross said...

Josi, those were all excellent posts. Sounds like your '08 really had lots of down sides, but I like that you can also see the good in it all. I especially loved how you said that celebrating 15 years with a good man is proof to you that God loves you. That's awesome. And I feel the same way about my man.

Good luck to you with your New Year hopes and resolutions. I believe in you!

An Ordinary Mom said...

Maybe one day I will like running, too.

I hope 2009 treats you well ... you deserve it! Happy New Year!

C.J. said...

You've had an eventful year, both good and bad. Hang in there.

Rebecca Talley said...

I always love to read your posts. You're a great example to me.

Rebecca Talley said...

You didn't happen to go to the temple in Costa Rica? The temple president and his wife were like my family growing up. they showed me what it was like to have the gospel in the home.

Kristi said...

2008...quite the year eh? I wonder what 2009 has in store? Sometimes it makes me wonder how many more "special" surprises a person can take in one year. We seem to all plow through em though. It's time to shine in 2009 right? It's our time in 2009? just trying to think of a theme. :)