Wednesday, January 14, 2009

School Daze--shudder

So, Jenna, at one of my favoritist blogs, Cranberry Corner, is going back to school. My neighbor (with 3 girls ages 1-7) is also back in class. And even my dear husband is doing the online thing. Ironically, all of them are going into nursing. My hubby is already an RN, but would like to get his Bachelor's degree. Even though he doesn't work in the field right now, he wants to shore (sure?) up his options and his nursing license has been a great security for us throughout our marriage.

I look at all these people--grown ups every one of them--and think, gosh, maybe I should go back to school, too. I mean, my kids are in school all day now and there are two wonderful universities within a thirty minute drive of my house; not to mention an IT school and an extension just ten miles away. It might be fun.

This lasts for about twelve seconds, then my stomach knots up, I have difficulty breathing, and I throw up.

It's not that I'm a bad student--I mean I was a solid C student through most of my schooling, except for my senior year when I went all Marion the Librarian and brought my GPA up to 3.6. I had some good teachers and some bad teachers, and one teacher in particular that said to me "I'll never understand why women go to college when they're sitting on a fortune." Think about it--it's pretty crude.

After high school, I attended a year of college and took all my writing classes. I was set toward getting an Associate of Science degree and decided to do my favorite classes first. I wrote two scintillating papers--one on the contagious aspects of a yawn and one on sex change operations--yes, I did choose my own topics, why do you ask?

Halfway through that year my missionary came home. We got married in April and three weeks later I kicked off my shoes and went about getting pregnant. I've been happily uneducated ever since.

Now, don't get me wrong, I loooooove to learn--love it. I love to be a know it all, I love knowing weird details about things like the fact that one pickle has all the sodium your body needs for a year--it's true, I read it in Reader's Digest. I love to read, I love, love, love, Wikipedia, and I have been a voracious student of writing skills (not that my blog reflects it, but still). However, do not put me in a classroom and make me take a test. Oy, the very idea gives me a headache. Truly, I don't think I could do things like complete assisgnments and color in bubbles on the little test thing--do they still do that?

I have returned to the classroom a couple times--I had to go to a three week class to get my Dietary Manager certification when we owned the Assisted Living facilities--hated every minute of it but I framed the certficate all the same and I'll admit to a sense of pride that I passed the test and could serve my pork roast with confidence, knowing it had been cooked to the optimal internal temperature. I also took a class on photoshop a couple years back. It was a pass-fail class based upon finishing the different segments. As soon as I'd completed 60% of the work I could stop attending if I wanted to--seeee yaaaaaa.

I do realize that if the economy gets worse and my books stop selling I might have to get a job--and truly I'm woefully unqualified for pretty much everything but daycare--however, I'm not a big fan of kids so I don't see that as a good option (neither to the parents that would entrust their little darlings to my care). I'm a great waitress though and would make a pretty good checker at a grocery store--neither of which require me to have any kind of special certification AND they pay like $6/hour. After making about $1.50/hour writing books and doing laundry and dishes for free these last fifteen years--that sounds like a lot of money!

So, yes, this is a hats off to those of you that have the discipline and dedication to go to school--I do admire it--and yes, this blog could also be construed as a plea that people don't stop buying books. But, mostly, this is me coming out of the proverbial closet and being grateful that I live in a country where I am free to be an uneducated lump if I want to.

Would you like fries with that? A baked potato is going to cost an additional $1.25 but the butter and sour cream is free.


Brooke said...

I've wondered if I should go back to school, too. Then I decide, maybe when I'm older. I just don't want to! I do love reading, and learning, but when it comes to reading what someone is making me read, I have an aversion to it. Maybe we can work at a grocery store together.

Melanie Jacobson said...

I've toyed with the idea of getting my masters in literature "just for fun." But then I think about school with two kids and more evenutally coming and I realize, "that's not fun. That's crazy," and I read something that I DON'T to write a paper about and call it good.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm split on the school thing. I LOVE sitting in lectures and learning and I even enjoy some of the assignments. Just don't make me take a test. Ergh.

Still, someday I want to go back to school for a Master's. When there's more money and time. (Hahahahaa!)

(Finished the work for my bachelor's RIGHT before my first baby arrived . . . actually graduated when he was 2 weeks old. My mother would have flayed me alive if I hadn't finished.)

Whitney said...

you can totally come sit in on my organic biochemistry class any time! it'd help me stay awake and maybe i'd actually be able to learn something. i'm still trying to convince myself i'm smart enough to pass the class. as i type i should be studying and taking notes and a pop-quiz is looming in the very near future. when that quiz rolls around i'll wish i were blogging. haha

Jenny Moore said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jenny Moore said...

Well girl, let me tell you, it's way harder now than it was when we were just out of HS. I went back a few years ago and found out that the most difficult thing I had used my mind for was solving Blues Clues. It is worth it, though. You can totally do it if you want to. I also think that school isn't for everyone. Some people do great, but there are people who do better in the real world. and not in a classroom. whatever you do, you'll do great!
Remember that job you had at that crappy burger place? I was just thinking of that when you said that you could scan groceries. It made me laugh.

Lara Neves said...

I was just telling my husband that I cannot wait until the kids are old enough that i can go back. I really want a Master's degree. :)

Anonymous said...

If you like learning, then don't go to school, because it will kill all desire or passion you ever had. My nearly four years of college education have only served to frustrate, antagonize, and stress me out. If I actually finish, it'll be a miracle. Dropping out is seeming like an excellent option. Also, they still use the fill-in-the-bubbles test things.

Sandra said...

I went back when my oldest was 12. I had 6 kids and one was born during that time (she is now9)I graduated with my bachelors the year the oldest graduated from high school. I just went back to get my masters. I will graduate when my 5th child graduates high school.

I am loving every minute of it. I think it is so much easier now than when I had to worry about the cute guy, what to wear, what everyone would think about me, the dance that week end- you know important stuff. At 45 it is so much easier to "read" the teacher and what is and isn't important. Plus I have lived so much life that most of it is a no brainer.

Sure, my floor needs mopped, and the bookcases dusted and that pile of laundry in the corner? Clean clothes are overrated. But I got a 99% on the last paper I wrote and as of tonight I have a 95.5% in the class. Valedictorian, here I come. And when I am done I will do the same thing I do right now, but I will have more 0's in my paycheck- and a whale of a lot more time to read your books!

Anna Maria Junus said...

I would love to go back to school, but I'm afraid I'll still end up without a job and huge loans to pay off.

hi, it's me! melissa c said...

I LOVE this! I think you wrote it about me! I have never enjoyed "working." Never found a job I liked or would like to do for the rest of my life. Except write, or course.

Am I lazy? I'm not when I have a bee in my bonnet.

I don't think I'd mind going to school again when my kids are older, but for a career? For a job I have to go to every day? H#$% no!! Pardon my french!

Anyway, you just keep writing and people will keep buying. Or at least renting from the book mobile. he he

Karlene said...

That's so funny because if I were independently wealthy, I'd go back to school just for the fun of it. I'm a nerd, I know.

Heather Moore said...

I know if I went back to school, I'd get a lot more out of it than I did as a 20-something. But it's much more fun to have the world as my campus :)

Jenna said...

Even the yucky tests are worth it, for the joy of the rest of the experience.

And, it makes me feel young!

You'd do great, Josi, and if the time is ever right, you'll know it. Until then, keep on writing away! I promise to never stop buying books.

(thanks for the plug, BTW)

Danyelle Ferguson said...

I went back to school after my second child was born. I needed to do something that was just for me. I took one night class & one online class and loved it. I only took classes for a year, but it was a great break. Now for you - it sounds like that idea would be brutal torture. But hey - everyone has different talents. Being in the classroom may not be one of yours, but you write incredible books and are an awesome friend! I'd much prefer you stay right where you are. :)

LisAway said...

I'm right there with you. I read the word "scantron" in someone's post recently and I about passed out. They still do those!?!

I was a solid "B" student, I think, but ONLY because I am good at taking tests. Any sort of homework is NOT FOR ME. Ugh.

I love your brand of uneducatedness.