2 + 20 = Awesome.

Today, is my 20th wedding anniversary. Yes, we were married on April Fool's Day. Yes, we knew it was April Fool's Day when we chose it. No, he hasn't yet packed a bag and said he was just kidding (yet.) I was trying to think of what kind of post I could do to celebrate such an occasion and it got me thinking back to that day and all the awesome things it was. The carpet in the gym where we held the reception was orange. My dress was a rental I haven't seen since that day. Lee's cowlick wasn't properly tamed but he looked awesome in his tux. We shoved cake in each others faces, I hated the earrings I was wearing, and we honeymooned in Midway Utah--incidentally the hotel we stayed at is now a drug and alcohol rehab. Go figure. After our honeymoon, we came home and opened all the presents given to us by the family and friends who were so generous in helping us get on our way--we needed EVERYTHING and we got what we needed to start a life--one towel and pan and shower curtain at a time. I remember feeling a little overwhelmed by everyone helping us so much--for years and years those gifts gave back over and over again.

Thinking about the presents got me thinking about which ones have survived the twenty years, 7 moves, 4 kids and our niece we raised for several years, and  7,285 days of life we've shared since then. So, I did a little tour of my house to see what I had left. I was surprised at some of the things that had survived and sad by some things I looked for and didn't find. Here's my report:

 We were given these goblets by a friend who I can visualize in my mind but can't remember her name--she and I worked together at Olympus Clinic where I worked as a receptionist. She gave it to us with a black nightie and a bottle of Apple Cider. I have the nightie too but I'm sparing you :-)

I had a very good friend named Laura Rustad up through high-school. She always had a smile and a hug on hand for me, even when I didn't deserve it. Her mom owned a store in the Cottonwood mall that could print photos on just about anything. For my wedding, they printed a copy of our engagement photo on some fabric and then sewed up a pillow. This was on our bed for years before I realized it was going to get worn out or ruined so now it is in my cedar trunk. Such a thoughtful gift.

The women in my ward made quilts whenever anyone got married. Ruth Rands headed up this project for me--I had been freinds with her granddaughter for years and always loved going to Ruth's house. I think she was a bit dismayed when I told her my colors were black and white, but she did it anyway--each black square has a yarn X. The backside is black, with X's also--pretty intricate quilting in my opinion. Months after the wedding she talked to my mom at church and asked if I knew she'd made it, I'd never sent her a thank you card. I remember being embarassed about that, but I don't remember if I ever sent her that card. I sure hope I did. Many a child has used and loved this quilt. Currently it is used to create the "Man Cave" for the boy child.

I have no idea who gave me the set of four black coffee mugs--my colors were black and white--but for years they were the only mugs we owned. This is the only one that survived. It has held much hot cocoa over the years.

My friend Jenny Lunt (now Moore) made me this quilt--I couldn't beleive she knew how to do something like that. She threw me a bridal shower at her home and was so sweet and supportive of my wedding. Her sisters played the harp at my reception, the classiest part of the whole day. This quilt was on my bed for the first few years of marriage and has been used by many of my children over the years. A few years after we were married a kitten we had at the time pooped all over this quilt. My brother in law was staying with us and threw it in the washer without pre-treating the stain. I cried when I realized it wasn't going to come out, though it's faded over the years. It also had a jar of pickles broken on it once. No stain from that. I'm very thankful to have Jen's friendship too after all these years. She is a gift that has continued to bless my life.

I don't know who gave us this stool, but we have used it more than any other gift we received. It has been a part of us painting numerous walls, getting things out of cupboards, helping kids wash their hands and reach the potty. When I remember to give wedding gifts to new couples (I'm so bad), I usually give them a simple step stool like this. Like many things, it's nothing fancy but it has turned out to have great value through it's use.


My crazy aunt Buleah gave us this as a wedding gift--it's our wedding invitation matted and framed. I have loved, loved, loved having this keepsake. It's something my kids have very much enjoyed as well. When I can afford it, I love giving similar gifts like this as well--but it's pricey and takes some pre-planning so having those two things line up is a bit of a trick.





This is the dress I wore from the reception. I rarely bought retail anything at the time and my mom insisted I buy a NEW dress to wear that day. So I did. And I loved it. It was an excellent breastfeeding dress in later years. :-) I consider it a gift from my Mom because she helped me pick it out and paid for it herself rather than taking it out of my wedding budget which I was ridiculously cheap with.

I don't know who gave me this platter, I remember thinking I would never use it. I didn't use it for a few years, but I've used it for numerous events since then. It's one of the nicest 'dishes' I own. And I still have the box!

My Aunt Sandy and Aunt Anne, on my dad's side, hosted a shower where all the girl's on the Schofield side made this quilt. We originally tied it with satin ribbon bows, but I had to replace it with yarn after the ribbon frayed and things. This is another quilt that has gotten a great deal of use and serves of a sweet reminder of how blessed I am with wonderful women in my family.




My good friend Cindy Voorhees--and former Young Women's President--gave Lee and I this book. I read it cover to cover the first week we were married and revisited it many times, especially in those early years. Lots of great advice from a woman who has continued to be such a fabulous source of love and encouragement over the years.

I don't remember who gave me this either, but it continues to be my very favorite vase.  For many years it was one of the prettiest things in my house.







Most importantly is that after twenty years I still have that man I fell in love with. He continues to be the greatest gift in my life and one I thank my Father in Heaven for every day. On the day we made vows to each other and to God, I felt sure I could never love him more than I did in that moment. In the years since, however, I see THAT love as only the beginning. I had no idea how big love could become--no clue how much a part of him I would be one day and how big a part of me he would be too. He is my best friend. He is the keeper of my heart. He is a big part of my identity. He is my biggest fan and cutest cheerleader. I've no doubt that the next twenty years will be just as wonderful as these two decades have been for us.

Twenty years and counting!

14 Things I Love . . .

1. My husband's arms around me.
2. Hearing that someone loves my child.
3. A sincere compliment.
4. Lunch dates with friends.
5. Accomplishing a goal, big or small.
6. A clean house.
7. Fireplaces.
8. My faith.
9. Chocolate covered cinnamon bears.
10. Appreciation.
11. A book that makes me think.
12. Soup.
13. Movies.
14. Believing someone else's life is better for having me in it.

 Happy Valentines Day. May you have love in it.

Nineteen Reasons I Love This Man

Yesterday my husband Lee and I celebrated 19 years of marriage. Yes, we were married on April Fool's day and unlike my daughters post on Facebook, it isn't because our marriage is a joke (Yes, she got lots of teen-points for that one).

I was 18 when we got married, so I've officially been married to him longer than I wasn't. He continues to be my best friend and biggest fan--the foundation of all the great things I have in my life. We've had plenty of other rivers to forge, but we are a good team and I am so grateful for that. Since I flaked the Anniversary card (the one he gave me was sweet) and was sick most of the day and he was recovering from a night shift and then had to work another one (after 19 years you do give up some of the glamor) I thought I would list out 19 of the reasons I love Lee so very much in hopes of making up for the lack-luster celebrations of yesterday (I'm also booking an overnight for next weekend).

Here we go:

1--He works hard to take care of our family.
2--He works SMART to take care of our family and is always looking for the next wise move on our behalf.
3--He makes me laugh everyday . . . even when I don't want to laugh.
4--He is amazingly optimistic and works toward those goals continually.
5--He's a great father to our kids.
6--He makes me feel beautiful.
7--He tells me the truth . . . even when I don't want to hear it.
8--He continually encourages me to reach for the stars.
9--He is not threatened by my success.
10--He agrees with me on matters of scouting.
11--He can handle it when I disagree with him.
12--He has never once pulled a covered wagon on me--it would be the last time, let me assure you.
13--He works hard to keep himself healthy.
14--He gets better looking every year.
15--He has never once put me down or called me a name.
16--He reminds me to relax and take things one day at a time.
17--He has a transcendent faith that exceeds what's taught on Sunday and permeates every part of his life.
18--He learned to love Sushi.
19--He loves me, despite myself at times.

Want more details? I blogged about him and or marriage HERE and HERE and HERE

All Kinds of Jiggly inside

Ohhhh, so many happy things going on, where do I start?

Well, first, Julie and I leave on our booktour in 10 days. Wow. I am so, so, so excited. I've heard from several people who are planning to come out and I'm stoked for the support, and for the chance to meet some people I've only known via facebook and e-mail. Julie and I have our rental car rented, our sleeping arrangements made, and Julie has a GPS, although she informs me it only speaks Swedish. Lucky for me, she's fluent--or GPS fluent anyway. I've updated the itinerary on my website to reflect our new stops in Reno, Fountain Valley and Newhall. We've about given up on the last few presentations, but if you have a last minute request--or just want to go to a movie with us or something in the cities where we haven't gotten anything scheduled, be sure to let us know.

Second, I find it a lucky qirk of fate that my booktour coincides with English Trifle being featured as a title selection for Time Out For Women. I was stoked when Lemon Tart made their list, but English Trifle too? Wow, wow, wow. I was interviewed for their site HERE, so check it out, I don't think I sound too stupid, which is always nice.

Third, Devil's Food Cake is done and under review with Deseret Book. I'm so glad to be finished, it frees up my brain to start thinking about the next book which will be titled Key Lime Pie. Yummmmmm. I can't tell you what it's about because...well, I don't know yet :-) But it's gunna be good and take place in Florida.

And Fourth, I got my computer back. It was $400 but they fixed everything, everything, everything, and seriously, after the hours I log on this thing it deserved a spa day; or week. I'm relieved it's all glammed up for the trip and that I don't have to use the timer on the kid's computer anymore, that was totally lame.


And there's only two more days of stupid Halloween crap to deal with. What could be better? Other than only one day of stupid Halloween crap left.

My Valentine Meme

I saw this meme on Annette Lyon's blog and thought it was just perfect for Valentines day, so I stole it. We'll be celebrating 16 years in April--I can't believe it and yet having been here for each day of it, it's gone so fast.

1. Where did you and your husband meet? Weight Training class at Olympus High School. I was a Sophomore and he was a Senior. We were also in the same ward but between his work schedule and my rebellious streak and the fact that he was two years older, we didn't know each other beyond recognizing one another from church.

2. How long before you kissed? Um, about a month BEFORE we started dating. We'd been flirting for awhile and then one day in class I just leaned in and kissed him. He was not impressed, and I've been razed about my racy behavior ever since.

3. Who kissed who first? See #2

4. How long from the time you met until you were engaged? Two and a half years. After six months of dating he went on a mission. Within 12 hours of him coming home we were talking marriage, and we were engaged a month or so after that.

5. How did he propose? We went to a Japanese restaurant in downtown Salt Lake and had a private tatami room. He did all the sweet talk but explained he couldn't afford a ring yet, so he gave me one made of tinfoil and promised to replace it, but wondered if I would marry him anyway. I said yes, of course, and then a minute later the waitress brought our food, with a velvet box right there next to the Miso. Weird thing, we've never been back to that restaurant even though we love Japanese--I guess we just don't like down town Salt Lake.

6. Did he pick out the ring or did you? He did, then we went back and had some chips put on the side. It's simple, but perfect.

7. Do you still like the ring? the only thing I didn't like about it was that it was gold. I'm a silver girl but we couldn't afford a non-gold setting. A couple years ago I had it redone in white gold, but it's the exact same style as it was before.

8. Where was your wedding and reception? Married in the Salt Lake Temple, reception at our ward house--orange carpeted basketball court and all.

9. How many bridesmaids did you have, and who was your maid of honor? No bridesmaids or maid of honor. We were given $2500 by our parents for the wedding expenses, anything left over we could spend however we wanted to. I cut every corner possible and we left on our honeymoon with $1100 in our pockets--sweet.

10. What color were your bridesmaid dresses? See #9

11. What was your bouquet made of? Red roses--the $25 special at The Flower Patch

12. Who gave you away? Not applicable for a temple wedding.

13. Did you cry during your wedding? Nope, I was ear to ear grins.

14. What style was your dress? I rented my dress from a lady in Pleasant Grove for $50. It was a shiny fabric with a full skirt and lacy detail. She let me keep it for 2 full weeks. I wouldn't change a thing about it. I was a size 3 when I got married and had a baby a year later--I'd have never fit into that dress again and I'd have never worn it again anyway. I know I'm an odd duck, but I honestly have never understood buying a wedding dress--I mean the guys don't by the tuxes, and wanna know why? Cause they know they will never wear it again, why spent all that $$ when it's a one day event? It simply does not make sense to me to spend soooo much money on a dress you will wear one time and then pay $75 to put in a sealed box--but I respect the fact that I'm the definite minority in this respect.

15. Was your wedding kiss sweet or sexy? It was in the temple, so it was sweet, but lingering sweet.

16. Who caught your bouquet? Nobody. I didn't throw it--are you kidding me? I spent $25 on that thing. I still have it in my trunk.

17. What flavor was your cake? Devil's food cake, with white frosting and black roses--my colors were red, white, and black. My YW president made it for me, and probably swore a couple times. I knew exactly what I wanted, but it was a hard thing to execute. Black icing is hard to make, and white frosting on a chocolate cake is a pain.

18. Did you smash the cake onto each other's faces or feed it to each other nicely? Totally smashed. It was up my nose, in my hair, all over his tux. But, see, it was a rented dress and a rented tux, so big deal :-) Fun memory.

19. What was "your song" that you danced to at your wedding? No dancing. But we always joke that our son is Turbo Lover by Judas Priest.

20. What did you serve your guests to eat? My aunts got together and made a buffet. I don't even know what was served other than my Aunt Sandy's chocolate chip cookies. I think there was punch and ham sandwich things. I didn't eat any of it, obviously.

21. What did your friends do to decorate your car? they use colored Elmer's glue--which was kind a nice cause it peeled right off. And they filled the car with balloons that took a few weeks to slowly fall out here and there--I left balloons all over Salt Lake (I know, bad for the environment and lazy as hell.)

22. What was your favorite wedding gift? I have two of them--one was the $500 check we got from my mom's great aunt. That was awesome. The other was a framed and matted version of our wedding invitation. It's one of the few gifts I still have and I love it. I've done the same type of gift for other weddings and get great reviews on it. It's something I'd have never thought of doing myself, so I'm glad someone else thought of it.

23. What was the worst wedding gift you got? Dress Pant hangers. But we did use them once we figured out what they were for.

24. Where did you go on your honeymoon? To a bed and breakfast in Midway. We went shopping at the outlet stores and just spent two days . . . together. It was awesome.

25. Looking back, is there anything you would have changed about your wedding? I would have worn less eye makeup, had my hair done professionally, and hired a professional photographer. In our goal to make some money off this little union of ours, we went with a friend of my dad who really just wasn't very good. We did get all the negatives, which was nice, and the price was great ($400 for bridals, engagement, and outside the Temple) but it would have been worth getting someone really good since pictures are the one thing that lasts. I also probably wouldn't have done a reception at all, but instead done a nice wedding breakfast for the 70 people that really cared about me--leave out my parent's old neighbors and the guy in the ward that I can't remember his name and the people my dad works with. I'd have sent announcements to all those people, but kept the wedding celebration for just those people that really knew me or Lee.

Almost sixteen years later, we're still going strong. Marrying Lee was the best decision of my entire life, and every good thing since then can be tied back to him and all the goodness he's brought into my life. I'm grateful that he was blinded to my many flaws enough to stick around.

THANK YOU!

Wow, what an amazing night, even the chicken was good (and I don’t like chicken). It absolutely blew my mind when I actually won the Whitney Award for mystery suspense. I honestly truly did not think I would win against such amazing books—I’ve read them and they are awesome—plus my very best friend Julie Wright was one of two people in the whole world that knew who had won before tonight and she deserves a freaking Oscar for not even hinting it to me (and I did try) she’s told me she was once an actress, apparently that is absolutely true.

I was a total mess up there so be ready to see my ugly cry pictures circulating around sometime—everyone else was composed and funny, I was the ugly crier and I don’t even care—the moment was that good! I’ll blog more about it next week, after I’ve enjoyed Easter and gotten my brain put back together (it blew up, remember) But I had make sure I thanked all of you that nominated and supported me to this end, as well as the amazing Whitney committee that put so much into this. It really is . . . just incredible (yes, I’m crying again, no pictures please). There were a lot of people I wanted to hug and thank personally after the dinner but I had kids waiting and a hubby that wasn’t feeling good (after three days with the kids who can blame him?)

But before I crash, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. (there should be a whole bunch of commas in there--sorry)

It never would have happened without those of you that loved Sheep’s Clothing and took the time to vote for it. Hugs and kisses and hard boiled eggs coming at ya! It’s been an amazing weekend and I’m absolutely exhausted—I’ll blog more about it next week! But thank you thank you, you’re the best.

My little Valentines

I've been married for almost 15 years and though my hubby-man is my sun, moon, stars, and favorite hot cocoa, we've never made that big a deal about Valentine's Day. We have our anniversary in April, and come February we've just survived Christmas gift giving, so other than a funny-sexy card and an excuse to go out to dinner sometime that week, Valentines Day isn't a big deal for the two of us.

A few years ago, however, I started giving valentines to my kids. One year I made little heart pouch things and hung them on their doorknobs full of M&M's--big hit. Another year I wrote down 50 things I loved about them and put them in a jar titled "What I love about you" there was no candy involved so it wasn't quite as fun, but the kids still have them . . . somewhere. And for the last two years I've put little hearts all over their bedroom doors the night before, giving them a heart attack. I then used the letters of their names to come up with some of my favorite things about them.

Two years ago, in May, I had to drop something off to a friend of mine. She worked night shift and had asked that I quietly put it inside her door rather than ring the bell or risk leaving it on the porch. My four year old came with me and when we got back the car she asked me why I went in that ladie's house without knocking.

"Well, she works at night so she's sleeping right now and I don't want to wake her up."

"She works at night?" my daughter repeated, still rather confused.

"Yes, she has a job, like Daddy does, only it's at night time."

"But she's a mom," my daughter said.

I've worked off and on throughout my marriage, but both my husband and I have tried very hard to keep me at home--which is my favorite place to be. I realized that this child had never known a time when I wasn't home so I explained a bit more. "She is a mom," I said. "A very good mom, that's why she's sleeping now while her kids are at school, so she can wake up when they get home. But she works another job to earn money."

"And she works her job at night?"

"Yep," I said. "At night."

"Sometimes you go to work at night."

I figured she was talking about a writing conference I'd been to a few weeks earlier when I'd been gone for a few days. "No, I don't work at night. Sometimes I go away for a few days to, uh, school, but I don't work."

"Yes you do, like that time you put hearts on our door when we were sleeping. That was work."

For me this was ultimate validation. That is my work, my main work, and the fact that I spend hours a day pursuing my career hasn't taken away the fact that my daughter sees my 'work' as her and our family. It was one of those moments that drove me to my knees and helped me thank my Father in Heaven for the bounty he has given me in the role of mother to these amazing spirits.

That KISS!!

This isn't a tag or a meme or anything like that, but I just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy (again) and read Julie Wright's blog (which if you haven't read, you really really should) and I was thus inspired on a blog topic--kissing, or more specifically, kisses. Those great movie kisses that make your toes curl. I've thought of four that are my absolute favorites, and would love to hear from the rest of you which ones I missed.

4) Beauty and the Beast--Disney Cartoon. This is probably my favorite Disney cartoon, and a big reason for that is because of that ending kiss. You can picture the scene, right? The beast has just been levitated and rays of light has shot out of his fingers and toes (which I thought was a little odd looking) and he twists and the cape wraps him up in a cocoon and then he holds out his hands and realizes he human again. The first thing he does is turn to Belle, and she narrows her eyes suspiciously, then reaches toward him and says "It is you" and then they share a fabulous (even in cartoon) kiss. Breathtaking.

3) Princess Bride--The narrator even preps us by telling us there have been five kisses in the history of the world (or something like that) to outdo all kisses and this one tops them all. Buttercup and Wesley are on horseback after just having escaped Humperdinks castle and they move in slow as the sun comes up behind them, sealing the love they have both suffered without for so long. Very well done.

2) Spiderman 1--yep, it's the one where he's hanging upside down and MJ peels back his mask and they have a big ol sloppy passionate kiss in the rain. I saw Toby on a talk show and he said that was the most uncomfortable scene because he couldn't breathe with the mask pulled up and nearly choked on the water. But, hey, it looked AWESOME. I tried really hard to talk my husband into recreating it for me--no dice. Good thing I own the DVD.

1) Having just finished Return of the King, there is simply no better kiss than the one between elf-girl (Aerowen--can't say it or spell it but you know who I mean) and new king-man (Arogan or Strider or somthing like that. I'm really horrible with the names in that movie) and he's just been crowned and she emerges from behind a banner. he takes a step toward her, incredulous that after all that's happened, she's here. And just as you think they are going to draw it out and end in a sweet kiss of tenderness, he dives in and captures her mouth in a passionate, all-telling reminder of just how strong their love for one another is. Wow--it just doesn't get better than that.

Don't ya think? So which kisses am I missing?

***disclaimer: I may have gotten scene details wrong, but this is how I remember it. If I'm wrong then it only means this is how they SHOULD have been :-)

October Artsy Essay Contest~My Ideal Day

Judith over at Heartsong has apparently been sponsoring these contests for a few months, but I was just made aware of it through Daizie's profile at Cre8buzz--apparently Judith is a friend of hers and Daizie wanted to spread the love. Basically the contest is for bloggers who submit a poem, prose, photo or other blog-postable medium that fits the theme of "My Ideal Day". Posts can be posted between the 15th and 31st of October, and then she'll have another contest next month. Once you've posted, link your entry to her website and then wait for the judging. I was in serious need for something different with my writing, and this fit the bill for a wonderful creative exercise. Anyone can enter, so ponder on your own ideal day and put it out to the Universe--who knows what will happen. Also, let me know if you enter so I can read your day as well. You can find full contest details here.

Anyway, here goes . . .


My Ideal Day
By Josi S. Kilpack

Seawater clings to my skin and the tropical flora seem intent to convince me nothing in the world exists but this—right here, right now. Somewhere up the beach fish is grilling while beans boil in a covered pot. Mangos are in season and their ripening scent competes with that of the flowers all around me.

Can you smell it?

The call of a thousand sea birds fills the sky and my hammock creaks amid it’s swaying. The Ocean breeze creates a whispered symphony as it travels through the palm leaves above, behind, beside me. His footsteps approach while the waves crash and crash and crash upon the shore. They keep rhythm with my breathing until he whispers in my ear and breath deserts me entirely.

Can you hear it?

The air is thick and salty, each wave sending a tribute of itself toward the heavens when it breaks upon the beach. The sand is soft and supple on my feet and the world is moving back and forth as the hammock sways. Back and forth, back and forth. His hand lingers on my cheek, my neck, my shoulder and we try and see if it's a hammock built for two.

Can you feel it?

Sky as big as it’s ever been, the flat and flawless countenance broken only by the constant motion of sea. His eyes are as blue as the ocean surrounding us and the grasses and ferns are so green it's as if the color was invented just for them. The sun is made brighter by the reflection of whitened sand as his footprints are sucked back into the sea with every wave that rolls upon the beach.

Can you see it?

I am late for nothing and no one depends on me to be fed, or cleaned, or delivered. I have no deadlines, no appointments, no bills to pay, or calls to make. There are no excuses to fill my mind. There is no distraction from our course. And he is here too, as free as me. We have nothing to do but find us again; the us that sometimes gets lost in the laundry and board meetings, the carpools and lawn mowing.

With a little luck, the journey back to us will take all day.

How can I tell if he really loves me?

Last week I had the opportunity to read a blog at Cranberry Corner. Jenna's story really touched me and has stuck with me this week. Maybe because I finished the book and am looking at my family and admiring them again, but pondering her theme of finding love I was reminded of something Tristi Pinkston said a few years ago.

We were talking about romance on the LDStorymakers e-mail list and she said her idea of romance was different than most people's. Flowers and stuff like that didn't do much for her, but now and then her hubby would let her sleep in on Saturday morning and go get her a McDonald's breakfast because he knew she loved it. For her, THAT was romance. I couldn't agree more (though I like flowers too) and this morning all of this came flooding back to me as I was gagging while holding the bag for my hunny-bunny to dump the dead skunk in.

It's our second dead skunk in a week, and dang but do they stink! I really like skunks--from a distance. I don't want to trap and kill them--killing and trapping is for the raccoons--but we keep catching skunks and Animal control does not come out for skunks in our county so it is up to us. Here's where the romance comes in, though that's probably not the right word, but it's definitely love.

My husband does not think skunks are cute, nor chickens either. The chickens are my idea, my passion, but he loves me so he puts up with it. And it's because of chickens that we have raccoons, which is why I bought the trap. He could say that because the chickens and traps and raccoons are my buisness, the skunks are too, but he doesn't. Instead he dresses up like the unabomber and goes takes care of them so I don't have to, then, this morning, in his dress clothes no less (he'd forgotten we still needed to dispose before he left for work) he picks up the stinky trap to dump the skunk in the bag. And as I'm dry heaving, he offers to take it to the dumpster at work instead of putting it in our household garbage can (we did that with last week's skunk--Baaaaaaaad idea--though I feel sorry for the people at the office building).

Through it all, he does not berate me about having to do something so awful, he doesn't complain at all(in part because he thinks I make funny faces)--and that, in my book, is love. He loves me enough to deal with dead skunks. To top it off, later today as I'm running errands in the city he works in, he calls and offers to do take out at our favorite sushi place so I can meet him for five whole minutes and we can eat together. So, I did. We sat in the back seat of the minivan with our five year old and ate sushi until I had to take the five-year old to kindergarten.

The date nights are great, and getting flowers makes my day, but when he tunes the radio to my favorite station, even though he'd choose Hinder over the Eagles any day, or he offers to pick up Arby's on the way home (again) because I told him I HAD to get a scene written, I'm reminded why I married this guy, why he's my moon, sun, and stars. These are things that make my heart thump.

So, outside of candy and chocolates and snuggling on the couch, I want to know the non-traditional things you're Sweety does to show you he (or she, though very few men read/comment on this blog) loves you. Or, if he's a lump and doesn't do nice things, what do you hope your next husband does?